Dear Willie: I met my boyfriend when I was 16 (I am now 22). During that time, he cheated and left me for an older woman.
I felt hurt and found it hard to let go so I continued to sleep with him even while he was dating the other woman. My self-esteem dropped and I began to feel like I was never good enough for him.
Every time I saw him with her I would get jealous and enraged. Advice and encouragement from friends eventually gave me the strength to leave this man and move on with my life. I went to college, graduated and earned my degree.
I wanted him to feel my pain so badly though, so I texted him one day in which the text read: ”You impregnated me while you were dating someone else so I had an abortion, you would have made a horrible father”.
He was extremely hurt and upset.
We later got back together and decided to put everything behind us, but that lie, about me aborting his child, still haunts me to this day.
I love him and I don’t want to hurt him again. Should I tell him the truth and risk losing him or do I forget the past? I need your help please.
Dear Miss: “I am pregnant” is one of the most common lies women tell. Sorry that you have become part of that statistic.
Now, to deal with the issue at hand.
If this lie helped you to get this man back, then you may lose him if you tell him the truth, even though, in my opinion, that’s not a lie to unite a relationship or destroy a relationship. I’ve seen worse.
If this was not the case then you have nothing to fear.
Most men tend to push for a break up faster when they discover an abortion was carried out without their knowledge. And most men would not want to reunite with the woman.
So, the fact that you NEVER had an abortion is not a good enough reason for any man to break up with you. It’s not like you told him you’re pregnant – when you’re not – and ‘eat the money’ he sent for the abortion.
You need to relax. Communication is key here. Tell him you need to speak with him about something important. Be honest with him. Tell him why you lied. Also throw some guilt on him. He caused you to lie. He hurt you, plus you were young at the time. You made a mistake.
If I was in his shoe, I would be happy that the lie was just that, a lie: you never had an abortion.
If he is a reasonable, smart guy, he would understand. He should be happy to have a woman who didn’t throw his baby out of spite. As I said, you were young and silly (just 16). He hurt you, you retaliated. Past is past.
If this lie is haunting you, get it off your chest. Free your mind. Do not advance your relationship with any lies haunting your relationship. If it’s meant to be, he will understand.
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