Woman lied about abortion: “That lie still haunts me”

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Woman lied about abortion: “That lie still haunts me”

dearwillie2.0-blueDear Willie: I met my boyfriend when I was 16 (I am now 22). During that time, he cheated and left me for an older woman.

I felt hurt and found it hard to let go so I continued to sleep with him even while he was dating the other woman. My self-esteem dropped and I began to feel like I was never good enough for him.

Every time I saw him with her I would get jealous and enraged. Advice and encouragement from friends eventually gave me the strength to leave this man and move on with my life. I went to college, graduated and earned my degree.

I wanted him to feel my pain so badly though, so I texted him one day in which the text read: ”You impregnated me while you were dating someone else so I had an abortion, you would have made a horrible father”.

He was extremely hurt and upset.

We later got back together and decided to put everything behind us, but that lie, about me aborting his child, still haunts me to this day.

I love him and I don’t want to hurt him again. Should I tell him the truth and risk losing him or do I forget the past? I need your help please.

Dear Miss: “I am pregnant” is one of the most common lies women tell. Sorry that you have become part of that statistic.

Now, to deal with the issue at hand.

If this lie helped you to get this man back, then you may lose him if you tell him the truth, even though, in my opinion, that’s not a lie to unite a relationship or destroy a relationship. I’ve seen worse.

If this was not the case then you have nothing to fear.

Most men tend to push for a break up faster when they discover an abortion was carried out without their knowledge. And most men would not want to reunite with the woman.

So, the fact that you NEVER had an abortion is not a good enough reason for any man to break up with you. It’s not like you told him you’re pregnant – when you’re not – and ‘eat the money’ he sent for the abortion.

You need to relax. Communication is key here. Tell him you need to speak with him about something important. Be honest with him. Tell him why you lied. Also throw some guilt on him. He caused you to lie. He hurt you, plus you were young at the time. You made a mistake.

If I was in his shoe, I would be happy that the lie was just that, a lie: you never had an abortion.

If he is a reasonable, smart guy, he would understand. He should be happy to have a woman who didn’t throw his baby out of spite. As I said, you were young and silly (just 16). He hurt you, you retaliated. Past is past.

If this lie is haunting you, get it off your chest. Free your mind. Do not advance your relationship with any lies haunting your relationship. If it’s meant to be, he will understand.

Willie

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9 COMMENTS

  1. ERRR!? You are back together with a man that made you feel so worthless? Really? Guess you didn't learn anything college girl.
    I say keep your mouth shut. This relationship will end soon anyway -the same way it did last time.

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  2. As you didn't actually have an abortion, tell him the truth. If this is lie is haunting you, it's best to confess to it and free yourself from it. Explain to him the reason you made up this lie- that you were hurt due to his cheating. Your boyfriend should understand and forgive you.

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  3. She needs to come clean and tell him the truth. This second chance at a relationship seems to be based on a lie. You do not want someone to be with you out of guilt or pity. A true test of the relationship will be whether he stays or goes once you come clean.

    (6)(0)

  4. If u havent said nything to him as yet - then dont tell him
    and forget about it
    people tend to try to be so honest and truthful when in reality truth would never exist without lie .... and thats the balance

    so keep your little petty secret because its all yours
    take that with u to the grave
    make up for it by being the bestest most-wonderful woman to this man who is already giving his life with u a second chance

    thats how u make it right - telling him will only show him a bad side to u (that really exists in us all) ....... live life to express the good in you and dont let the bad make u feel guilty but learn the lesson from your guilt - AND DO NOT DO IT AGAIN !!!

    Blessed love

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  5. first she needs to forgive herself and then just tell him the truth if you keep telling yourself lies then thats not gonna make it any better... I would have tell him long long time ago ....

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  6. When you hurt you say things. But why go with someone who put you second. Now telling your lover you are married to keep him from getting to close is a big lie, you can't fine a way out of that one.

    (1)(6)

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