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Woman eager to get out of relationship with married man

Dear Willie

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Dear Willie: I’m in a relationship with a married man for the past six years and it’s really becoming stressful, and I’m tired and fed up. But every time I try to let go he just have a way of getting to me.

And I need help because I really want it to stop. After all, he is not giving up on his wife and he is not letting me give up. So please, help me.

Thank you so much.

Dear Miss: Wow, six years with somebody else’s man. Shouldn’t you be proud? Anyway, getting to the issue at hand.

By now, it is clear that the man does not care about your feelings, takes you for a sex toy, and is using you as much as possible.

You hit the nail on the head when you said “he is not giving up on his wife”. And you’re right. After six years, if hasn’t as yet, he won’t. And neither will his wife.

This is a losing battle my friend. Do you like someone taking you for a fool? A sexy toy? Think about it. Would you allow your daughter to be treated and used this way? To live this dirty life? No.

So, please build some courage and self-esteem and say enough is enough. Think about the negative aspects of this unhealthy, sinful relationship, whenever he tries to make you stay.

Do you want to be used by someone else’s man for another six years?

Willie

Email letters to [email protected] Letters are strictly confidential and total privacy maintained. Also see disclaimer below. Dear Willie is published Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as official counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.   

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51 comments

  1. He without sin cast the first stone..sin is Sin...pray you find the strength and courage to get out. No one wants to settle for second best but sometimes life happens..you are in the right frame of mind that is wanting out..Peace my sister

    (2)(0)
  2. Society now accepts all kinds of filth. What is wrong is wrong and what is right is right. Stand up for righteousness and be counted as one of God's children. The story was not written with everything in it. She did not say whether she chose to be with him having the knowledge that he was married before or he lied about it and she found at after. She only stated she has been with a married man for six years. Either way it is wrong to both once you know that is the case. She has caught up in this web and is not certain what to do. Our advice should be to God, flee from this sinful union and he will show you the way. Repentance is what is needed. Peace my sister...

    (4)(0)
  3. TO ALL YOUNG AND OLD WOMEN OUT THERE!!!!! WHEN SEARCHING OR PREPARING FOR A REALATIONSHIP,GO BACK TO THE OLD DAYS, BEFORE YOU WOULD FALL INLOVE WITH A MAN,YOUR PARENTS WOULD HAVE TO BE NOTIFIED,AND HE WOULD COME TO MEET WITH YOUR PARENTS, IN THAT CASE, THAT WOULD BE A PROPER WAY A WOMAN WOULD KNOW IF A MAN IS MARRIED OR NOT, NOW A DAYS WOMEN FALL FOR THE MATERIALS PLEASURE IN THE WORLD AND WHEN THEY REALIZED THAT IT DOESN'T TAKE THEM NO WHERE, THEY ARE ASHAMED OF THHEMSELVES,HENCE THE REASON THERE ARE SO MANY SUICIDE IN THE COUNTRY,WOMEN SHOULD GO OUT AND FIND AN EDUCATION BEFORE,DON'T LET MEN ADVANTAGE ON YOUR LIFE,THIS IS A PRECIOUS GIFT FROM GOD,

    (12)(0)
  4. lmao,my two eyes does really see things ih.

    (1)(1)
  5. Bxxxxch keep your legs closed. You nasty a$$.

    (2)(3)
  6. I am not condoning this behaviour, however, Dr Wille, please have some class when giving advise. Be a bit more sensitive and less judgemental.

    (15)(6)
  7. Just another reason to go to hell.Did not the book said , thou shall not commit adultrey.What part did you woman not understand

    (2)(4)
  8. Y U all making excuses for the lady. If it were your DUMB HUSBAND YOU would be singing a different song. Most Men are dogs anyway. I would never be with a married man or a man with a family at home. I stand by that. Have enough respect for yourself or if not remember the innocent woman at home taking all that man stress.

    (4)(1)
  9. mama salop not worth having ur own man?

    (2)(4)
  10. stupid salop st.lucian woman,always with a married man.

    (1)(5)
  11. It could be one of you guys husband doing this crap no judging please.men are men they will always fine extra ass it's up to you as a woman to give in and number one if you know he had a wife why fall for it? I understand people do mistakes but my dear put your thinking caps on. Good luck on leaving the looser.

    (4)(2)
  12. Woy Woy Woy

    I am not saying that cheating is right. But I sure understand the push/pull factors. I notice that once it is a case of cheating; that Lucians make the man and the jabal seem to be disciples of the Devil and wife to be some Angel. Eh Eh - not so fast.

    My parents were married... My father never hit my mother and to the best of my knowledge he never cheated on her either. BUT!!! BUT!!!! She nagged him every day and CONSTANTLY. They slept in separate beds in separate rooms. Finally he left.

    If my father had given my mother a good slap she would have well looked for it.
    On top of that she not giving him sex... what is he to do?

    There are many shades to a relationship and sometimes. SOMETIMES. The wives are not the innocents that Lucians like to say they are.

    (21)(3)
  13. I agree with book-worm, try it and see.....and for those that hating on the woman, maybe you guys should tie you all husbands to the bed post, and he wouldn't leave.....lol.

    (5)(1)
  14. All you people out there crucified the woman you all should be ashamed of you all selves smfh. Everybody is a professional critic.
    God know the skeleton in you all closet dam ass. He who have ok sin let him cast the first stone.
    Lucian women again 3|4 of them have more than one man salop ta.
    Lady get out and stay out, that dirty dog don't your happiness. Good luck.

    (2)(3)
  15. You all think you holier than thou.He is without sin cast the first stone.
    SHE ASKED FOR ADVICE!
    My lady build courage,seek God and ask for his forgiveness and run fast as u can.Be blessed.

    (8)(0)
  16. Give his wife a call...he will leave you alone for sure:)

    (7)(0)
  17. Sweetie, you are NOT doing yourself any favours by staying in that relationship. Not giving yourself a chance for REAL happiness, to have someone EXCLUSIVELY for yourself, etc. Think hard. Block mate on your whatsapp, email, and every contact list you have. Think long term. Think of your future. You obviously want more - and there is nothing wrong with that. So build that future with someone who CAN actually reciprocate all the love you have to give. Trust me, I know what it's like. And I have NEVER regretted the decision to leave. In fact, if I did not, I would not have met my husband today. Go for it and leave mate alone. He not worth it.

    (5)(2)
  18. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL - I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE - SAM SMITH LMAO

    (0)(1)
  19. Lucians too damned judgmental!! Like none of us have slipped and fallen short of the glory!

    My dear, of you are interested in my 2 cents, then this is what I have to say.
    1. He may be THE ONE for you – but circumstances seem to be telling you different.
    2. It will be hard but now that you are ready. Walk away.
    3. This will not be easy but you seem to know already and so assuming that you do walk away – STAY AWAY. THIS IS A TEST. If this man is serious about you, the fact that you have walked and stayed away will wake him up.
    Either way… you will have your answer.
    If he stays in the marriage; then amen you are already free of him.
    If he divorces then what he needed all the time was that kick up the backside.

    PEACE BE WITH YOU MY GIRL.

    (5)(0)
    • No, he is certainly NOT the one for her. He is the one for he his wife. She has to find her own husband who will be the one for her. THIS ONE IS ALREADY TAKEN

      (5)(0)
  20. Married men need some extra ass too. Dont hate

    (2)(5)
  21. Never be with a married man. Bad choice no matter how much they dog after you. They are not worth it. Now. Some married men are full of shit. They treat their wives badly but remain there because divorce is costly to them. So they go running around with different women. Don't fall into that trap ladies. You are worth much more than an easy lay.

    (5)(0)
  22. Y so many freaking married men cheat. And society always blames the other woman.

    (1)(1)
    • When a man is married .heads up, stay away no matter the circumstances and poor exuces he may have.respect a person's partner just as you would want others to have respect for you.

      (2)(0)
  23. The reality of women involvement with married men is mostly for material gain. There is usually some benefit associated with those relationships which are also heart-breaking to part with. The married men attachment to their lovers is usually to release tension in their marriages, and most are attracted to the younger lovers and sex which are equally difficult to give up.

    (2)(1)
  24. My girl, if the wife does not already know, just tell her! The husband is the bigger nasty &@"/-. And as for Willie and all the judgemental people: "let those without sins cast the stones" You people, including Willie, too damn self righteous! Cheups tun.

    (1)(1)
    • Why the hell the wife has to be involved in her pappyshow? If the man had left the wife for her would she have called the wife beforehand to prepare her for the betrayal and to console her? Because the man does not leave his wife for her why should she use the wife to make life easy for her?

      (5)(0)
  25. Sometimes the men don't leave the other woman alone and is the married men that obsess with the other woman.

    (2)(1)
    • Is it the married men who are obsessed or rather the likes of these who tie the married men with all their nasty voodoo?

      (1)(0)
  26. The problem is she want out but the man is equally nasty. Why you have wife and still have side relationship. She need to be strong and stick to her decision to leave , it's never easy but one way to do it is to hold the negative of this situation

    (1)(0)
  27. Is a two way street, you shouldn't have slept with a naked man and he shouldn't have tried to get with you but somebody had to be the bigger person and nobody had for the last six years.

    (0)(0)
  28. So much married men DAT taking gud care of ur'll. U have the wrong one choose again.

    (0)(2)
  29. Its the money that's keeping her .

    (1)(0)
  30. Lucians, come on! She has asked for advice because for her the mistake was made six years ago. Lets face the facts, men can be very persuasive if they realise there is a physical attraction and can be manipulative and get their way... Our sisters low self esteem (from up-bringing in most cases) allows them to fall for these men and their crap and before they know it they are hooked!
    What you need to do lady is work on your self esteem and then you will realise you deserve better and would find leaving easier. Good luck!

    (1)(1)
    • No, no, no you have it wrong Boo Boo. She did not ask for help because she realised she made a mistake, she is asking for help because the married man will not leave his wife for her. She does not have no low self-esteem. On the contrary, she has very huge and misguided self-esteem. She honestly thought that the man would have left his wife for her because she is the biggest cheese in town.

      (2)(1)
  31. What a bitch! 6 years you're with a married man, you have no respect or value as a woman. Where are your standards and morals to respecting marriage. From the time you know he is married you should have turned the other cheek. Hopefully you dont bring in any bastard s to this mess and put yourself in the wife shoes? 6 years he sleeping with both you and the wife and what about the other side bags you don't know about. What about stupid and nasty woman!

    (1)(0)
  32. Who said married men never leaves their wives, so why so many divorce?
    Tell the married men to leave the women alone and stick with their wives

    (3)(0)
  33. Y date a married man/ woman low self esteem n respect for ur self 8blasted yrs... He's usin u get out send ur fishing line way out..... Gud luck

    (0)(0)
  34. Why is it that people always say leave the married men alone. What happen when the married men cannot leave these women alone..

    (1)(0)
    • My point exactly... in lots of cases these men refuse to leave the outside women alone... buying all sorts of stuff for them and promising them the world! I agree women should not get involved period, but the men... hmmm!

      (2)(0)
  35. Close your legs to MARRIED MEN!! THATS NASTY. Now you want out you shouldn't have been there to begin with!! Anyway sista the damage has been done try to leave that fool. Save yourself for marriage. Now be careful it doesn't happen to you cause KARMA IS A BITCH.

    (3)(0)
  36. Good reply willie

    (0)(0)
  37. Shut u all ass cus u all does f.....ppl man to treat u all man right and he eh go have long term outside relationships

    (1)(0)
  38. Was in same situation

    Married men NEVER leave their wife ... leave de people dem husband alone

    (2)(0)
  39. Yall will learn to leave married men alone. you have no self respect.

    (2)(0)

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