While suffering in hospital, my boyfriend was having sex on the beach

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While suffering in hospital, my boyfriend was having sex on the beach


Dear Willie:
 In two months it will be four years I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend. The past few weeks we’ve been having a lot of arguments.

I currently live in the US. I’m trying to finish school within one year, taking day and night classes just to get back to him in St. Lucia.

I recently found out that he cheated on me with a girl by the beach at a party, and this girl could be pregnant. He told me he was ashamed for what he did. My thing with him is he likes to share his number with women too much.

Willie, I really don’t want to throw away the relationship over this. I told him to get her a test to find out if she’s pregnant, and if she is, take her to the doctor to find out how far long she is, because this happen this passed week.

Willie, what makes it hurt so bad is the day he had sex with her, was the day I was taken to the emergency room for my medical issue. I just can’t get over the fact that while I was suffering he was getting down with the girl. I’m disgusted that he had unprotected sex with her.

Then he goes on to tell me the girl said to work things out with me. Willie I don’t know if I should stay or leave. This is the first time he cheated on me. Should I give him a chance? Please help!

Confused and Sad

Dear Confused and Sad: It’s the first time he has cheated on you? Said who? I think you meant to say that’s the first time you know of. It could be his first but based on  what you just told me, that may not be his first.

He loves giving his numbers to women too much? How do you know that? And if there’s proof or if he told you so, then why do you think he hasn’t cheated before?

Babes, you have a medical issue, I do not know what it is, but please take it easy. I know you love your man and you yearn for him, but try your best to concentrate on YOU as much as you can. He is not your husband. Men come, men go. You will sacrifice for him and that’s the crap you get it?

Long distance relationships are challenging. Very challenging, especially for the men. When you left to study, you should have had that in mind. Anything is possible.

I am not going to tell you to leave him because people make mistakes, but think about it: do you love him that much to want to sacrifice your time for him? Is he worth it? Do you believe you will ever trust him again?

Ask yourself these questions and more, and come up with a decision. Personally, in my opinion, once a cheater, always a cheater. But in life, some people deserve a second chance. The fact that he told you he cheated, and he may have been upfront with you on other occasions, gives him a point in my book.

However, there may be other things he hasn’t told you. At the end of the day it is your decision.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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52 COMMENTS

  1. tell dam mun to go un wash his a$$ un drink d water eh. make him know u eh want him again if is cal ting he hav u on. choopppzzz

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  2. Yes forgive him men are weak, but think urll suld separate till u dun school. Just so u can focus on u, as nd whats most important to you at the moment which is school.also right now trust has been broken and you will constantly be wondering what is he up too, u cant afford for that right now. I went to school for a yr just lije you abd u experience the same thing minus the pregnancy thing. So i can tell u i know its hard, but at all times put urself first. Love u first. Pray and god will sort it all. Wen u do that this man will respect you and man up, if not better must come trust me, cas am engaged to b married n its not with this same guy. All the best in ur studies.

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  3. That's your decision to make. Who feels it knows it. Your future is definitely at stake. It's a tough decision to make because it can make you or break you. Just think long and hard about before you make it final. Good Luck!!!

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  4. My girl if your man treats u right give him a second chance,if he treats u with respect he deserve a second chance,no one is perfect everybody does mistakes n learn from them

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  5. Lady... I feel for you because I was exactly where you are ...once upon a time... If I could turn back the hands of time I would have given myself the same advice that I am giving you now...
    First of all the ONLY reason you found out that he cheated is because the girl got pregnant (that's the only way I got official confirmation that my ex was cheating). Don't believe he is that remorseful nor should you feel that special because he told you .. The idiot only cares about himself. Forgive him now and trust me he will do it again. He will be on skype with you 24/7 to build back trust.. But while u only seeing his face ..that "other woman" going down on him..
    It is okay to be selfish and think of YOU .. Trust me if you give up you opportunity for him then you will regret it in the long run. Love makes us do stupid things and you don,t have to take the advice of any of us on here.. But examine your relationship for yourself... Is he there for you? Does he want to visit you? What are his plans for you or the relationship? All those things will tell you whether or not this guy is a joker or should be taken seriously...
    Long distance relationships do work if both partners are willing to put in the extra effort... This guy falls in the category of idiot men (like my ex) your gf go to the US to study will have her cat on IcE for you.. But your lil ego bruised so you have to chase everything in a skirt just to feel better about yourself. If a man cannot appreciate your sacrifices and cannot make a sacrifice for you then he does not deserve your love and affection...
    If you think he not there for you when you in hospital think of how it will be when baby born and baby mother want him in her bed all night under fall pretext that the baby sick... If u think he will put u ahead of his child u stupid... And if he puts u ahead of his child then is a mess... Nobody wants baby mama drama.."ain't nobody got time for that"... A man won't meet a girl and just have unprotected sex one time (although some of them that stupid)... But he must have been known her for a long time to feel comfortable having unprotected sex...
    Make use of the opportunities available to you in the US both educationally and medically.. Don't Center your life around a man who cannot appreciate your value or worth... And if that man serious he will catch himself and buckle up (my guess is he won't)
    And if after ALL what we tell you, you still confused remember Marilyn Monroe..
    "Your career will never wake you up on day and say I don't love you.."
    Think of you and not some stupid boy that thinking with his 4 inches and not like a real man...

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  6. My lady ,I know how you feeling. I was in a similar situation. I busted my ass in school in the US ,to return to my girlfriend and now that am home ,is pure stress am getting from this girl on a daily basis. I have regretted rushing through school to come to a life of misery. I got the opportunity to live and work in the U.S, after school and no, I never cheated on her for the entire 4 years.

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  7. HERE'S SOME ADVICE...FIND A MAN IN THE STATES, GET YOUR AMERICAN PASSPORT AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. STOP STRESSING YOURSELF FOR A MAN WHO CANNOT GIVE YOU NOTHING BUT HEADACHE AND STRESS.

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  8. Y us woman so dess for man. You rushing your education to come home for man. Woman get a BOB (Battery Operated Boyfriend)

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  9. He is probably just freaked out now that the woman is pregnant. Lord knows how many times he has done this before.
    You're out there working hard by getting your education and putting your feelings aside. He should have known that he had a great and loyal woman.

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  10. My girl, you're in school overseas. Enjoy the attn you can get from these foreigners.Si nom ou ka simeh-gwen, abeh faire-mem. Don't hold yourself back for that bum. If by fact the sidepcs is pregs, just leave the man. You don't need all that drama and + u urself not even well, the stress will kill u more. Leave them alone and find inner peace. I dont know how u can be with a man that gives out #s, that will make me neurotic. Enjoy living abroad, go to school, take part in organizations, and DWIVAAAY!

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  11. can never understand man, you cheating on your girl atleast protect yourself, condoms are FREE at the ministry of health unno, my girl move on that man cause for all we know he catch "it" already and might give it to you

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  12. sweetie your killing yourself to take classes both day and night to come back lucia to a man who is there cheating on you. You dont even know how many times he did it or with how many ppl, you only know of this one. Stay where you are and focus on completed your studies to achieve something for yourself. Leave the bastard alone. And look baby might be involved there. Stay where you are my girl

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  13. getting knocked the F888 out in the elevator and blaming herself cause her man is more of a bitch than she is .... Get it together, its not your fault he cheated.. its not your fault that he is dumb enough to go starting a family somewhere else...leave that man alone

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  14. distance relationship never work, and him didn't respect you at all, sorry tell me a reason why you wanna go back to him? after that him treat you like that...him can do it again.. do you think is the only man on these planet...open the eyes and go ahead

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  15. Ok you recently found out he's cheated, chances r and i'm being honest you probably take endless plock already,mate probably kill endless tingz on your head, i guess at least you heard it from him and he was man enough to tell you, don't really know what to tell you to do cuz i luv my girl n i cheat on her more than once, smfh.........

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  16. @truthful..you said "best thing is get married" In the first place before opening her legs she should have gotten married.You"ll women now a days to slack look at Ray Rice wife, after they knock her out she blamed her self. Some women too disgusting, YACK!!!

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  17. girl forget about them Lucian men... waste of time and human sperm.... a woman of value and worth.. don't need to put up with shit like that..

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  18. The woman is pregnant = unprotected sex.
    Get yourself medically checked.
    You don't know what he or she (them) has that maybe you now have.

    Don't always think HIV/AIDS there are many others STDs to make your life miserable.

    Did you know if left untreated, syphilis can travel to the brain and render a person insane?

    Get checked.

    What you do with the man... well that all depends on if you want him or not.

    If you want him then work it out.
    If you don't want him - move on and leave him with his baby-mama.

    Either way... finish school and get your certification.

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