What goes around, comes around (Wednesday edition)

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What goes around, comes around (Wednesday edition)


Dear Willie:
I am really struggling to get over my ex that I dated for two years, starting in high school.

I had a really big ego and thought I can do anything and she would never leave me. I broke up with her before I went off to school. A few months later while I was at school, we began to talk again. I came home from school due to financial reasons so we spent that summer together and dated.

She ended up going away to school while I was at home, and she broke up with me a couple months later. I spent so much time texting her, trying to get her back but she didn’t have the feelings she once did. Now she is dating someone else and I still have all these feelings for her, more than I ever have for some reason.

Given the chance I know I would be better than I was before. I really need some help getting over this because it has really began to affect my life in many negatives ways. Thank you.

Dear Sir:  Seems like your ex got back at you in the smoothest way. I am not saying she did it on purpose, but never underestimate the female. They perfect the art of patience in revenge games.

You just have to accept it. It is a bitter pill to swallow, but the fact that she is overseas, makes it more complicated. Out of sight, out of mind.

It may appear both of you were together for convenience – not real love. As you prepared to leave for school, you dumped her. What’s the sense having a girlfriend, staying faithful when you’re thousands of miles away, and will have the opportunity to date many others? You were smart enough to keep the connection, so that when you’re home you will have some ‘sure’ booty.

She probably did the same. She went overseas and saw no need for a long distance relationship after a while. Why would she? Many men are just minutes away.

I would not be surprised that when she returns, both of you hook up again, and the cycle continues.

But all that is just my active imagination of possibilities.

Sometimes we have to learn our lessons the hard way. What goes around comes around. When you treat someone like crap, someone who was nothing but nice to you, you must prepare for the karma, sooner or later.

But bro, the best I could say is leave this girl alone. Most men tend to get more clingy when they realise another man is drinking from the sweet bowl they used to use. To deal with us, be the strong one. Don’t make her know you’re hurting, be a man. Just don’t care about what she does.

And respect her relationship. There are many fishes in the sea. Stop communicating with her, and don’t allow any cycle to continue. Don’t get too friendly or close in anyway.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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31 COMMENTS

  1. AB I wonder if your mother is a St Lucian woman or your grandmother. Wonder if that's how she treated your dad. You sound very hurt my friend like you have some serious mommy issues. Were you breast fed as a child?

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  2. First off, you must learn to live by principles. I would sympathize with you if you had not done her wrong. Follow these two principles. (!) Do unto others as you would like others do unto you. (2) What you sow is what you go reap. Now take your licks like a man and don't let anyone see you hurting.

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  3. My dear, there is a time for love and a time for letting go. Love is a cycle sometimes it a year or two or even a lifetime. Move on with your life spend sometime doing things that you really love, your loved ones-family members etc. Crying over spilled milk really isn't worth it.

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  4. You got served dear...you said you felt like you could do whatever you want and she wouldn't leave you, did you think you were dating a puppet?! How much did you expect the poor woman to take from you and for how long? Go find yourself another woman who would put up with your crap and stop whining you pathetic loser. You got what you deserved, hope she never gives you a chance to trample on her feelings again.

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  5. A.....you second post just proved me right.

    You're an insecure...can't say man.....person who needs to be needed to feel value.

    Run along boy!

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  6. "A" you're such an idiot. lolol.

    You probably have no value in St Lucia and the only women who would be interested in you are those who think you're a price.

    Please, get over yourself. Choops.

    ON to the matter at hand, move on hun, she has. It's ok to admit that you have feelings for her. Real men don't shy away from admitting what they feel. Do I think she's being vengeful, I honestly don't know. And neither do the rest of the shallow-minded people who are commenting on your story. People react differently to situations, and maybe this is just her way.

    My only advice to you would be to be mindful of Willie's advice. Break the cycle now. It will not end well. Be strong and move along...

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  7. Saint Lucian women have taken this "Break-up" thing to a new level. And this new level is to cause pain and destruction.
    They do this without ever thinking about the feelings of another Human.
    So clearly those women do not know or understand what Love is all about.

    How can a woman profess her love to a Man and then turn away and act like this?

    Dude, I am in the UK where you have an array or women at your disposal, to make you feel like KING and NEEDED. And trust me, those women do not need much.
    Just your sincerity and Love.
    Something that Saint Lucian women will never understand.

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    • A B....it more sounds like Lucian Women don't want you. I find it strange that a Lucian man got so hurt by one woman since school he can't see one....not onnnneee Lucian woman that he's interested in. Admit it man, you have a problem...The problem is you. The UK have an array of women for true....From those who were not born female to the females who try to be males....just saying

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    • AB, you really got those? Love and sincerity? WOW!!!!! I didn't think so. I was afraid in case I date you not knowing it's AB, but since you're in the UK.... NAH!!! No chance of running into you.

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  8. I dated one Saint Lucian chick in Secondary school.
    Had a Bad Encounter with her once, where she showed all her friends our "Love-Letters" and other personals.

    But what made it worst, was when she was making fun of what I had written.
    And cuss me out when I tried to explain the sacredness of what we both shared together.

    This was my turning point and up to this day, I have NO interest in them, neither do I allow them to ride in my Car.

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  9. Hahahaha.
    Dude, leave Saint Lucian women alone. lol.
    Are you not aware as soon as those chicken-heads reach foreign, they forget about about the man they left behind?
    Lmao.

    There are many more women out there for you.
    Remove everything that may bring back her thoughts in your mind (including pictures) etc.

    Trust me, I wouldn't touch a Lucian and African American woman with a yard-stick.
    🙂

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    • that's rather harsh..don't judge all lucian women because u got a rotten egg...the guy who wrote the letter i agree with willie said and u should personally take time off an do u such things u like, get to know yourself again before u know it, she would be nothing but a memory

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  10. MAN GET OFF YOUR BUTT , GO TO WORK , MINGLE A LITTLE , MEET NEW PEOPLE , HAVE FUN.
    AND ITS OK TO CRY IT ONLY SHOWS THAT YOU HAVE A SOUL

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  11. HI WILLIE I DISAGREE ON A PART OF YOUR ARTICLE (Don’t make her know you’re hurting, be a man. Just don’t care about what she does)
    ARE YOU SAYING THAT A REAL MAN DOESNT CARE?.ARE YOU ALSO SAYING THAT A REAL MAN DOESNT SHOW A GIRL THAT HE IS HURT?.
    I REAL MAN STAYS COMMENTS TO ONE WOMAN , AND I BELIEVE THAT A MAN SHOULD SHOW HIS SENSITIVE SIDE , OR ELSE WHAT WILL HE BE OR WHAT WOULD PEOPLE THINK OF HIM?
    TO ME A MAN THAT SHOWS THAT HE DOESNT CARE IS NOT IN LOVE OR CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT HIMSELF

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    • Some women in that situation take advantage of the fact that they know you're hurting...it feeds their ego knowing that this guy is still holding on to them and giving them attention even though they have already broken up.

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  12. Dude just move on, you bound to find someone else. But its always when you lose what you have you realize how blessed you were and now its too late.

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    • so why can't you do what you're recommending? leave Medrick alone. he's doing a good job having people vent whatever they want. if u have an issue at work write to him then maybe he'll post it. you all lucians always criticizing what people do when you all not doing anything yourself. choops tan.

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  13. The core issues affecting our people we choose not to discuss. The reasons for suicide, the abuse of employees by employers, crooked business men and women, lack of jobs and loss of jobs.

    Why not create a blog where these matters are discussed. There is so much fustration no wonder lucians drink so much rum.

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  14. Karma always comes knowing...tsk! I feel your pain I seriously do. We've all been hurt in this game called love. Willie "out of sight out of mind" don't always work. When emotions come into play those memories you created with someone eats you alive- this dude is prove of that. Move on buddy, everything happens for a reason my god it has to.

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  15. my boy go. u did the right thing. them long distance relationship things hardly work. u are young! no need to tie urself to one person. what ur going through now its a natural part of life many young adults go through. it is not the end of the world. i hope u learnt ur lesson in relation to ur ego. u are better than that. move on. remain cordial with her. dont make her a priority. dont call whatsapp etc all the time and first. see if she does it first then u know shes still thinkin of u. why make her a priority when there are many more fish in the sea? focus on ur life and getting ur career. then someone good will come

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      • wow this is so not right i only got three likes and hate to hear shit got thirteen all i did was put what was said in a mans perspective hmm so thats to show you how much rights women have and i am sure is mostly women that gave those thirteen likes i did that comment purposely to see what would people say or think so regardless we not supposed to be hurting each other its like that vote of likes determines that it is ok for women to hurt men and not for men to hurt women

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          • so who doesn't know this isn't facebook don't you see above the comments there is a green thumb which says like and a red one which say dislike so it a have nothing to do about face book my yute

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