This married man is the Player of the Year

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This married man is the Player of the Year

Dear Willie: I am in a relationship with this guy who I never knew was married.

When he took me to his parent’s house I soon found out that he is a married man. He told me he’s going through a divorce with his wife because things have not been nice for eight years of marriage. So I thought it was over and since I was already intimate with him I decided to stay with him. We soon moved in together.

Two days after he left me in the house and went to his wife, I started thinking whether I should stay or go because I don’t think he will be over his wife. He started coming over for one week and stay at his wife for one week, which I didn’t think is healthy.

I told him about choosing one and not two because a double life is not safe. He then decided to live a triple life. He met another woman who doesn’t live far from us. He and the woman text each other every day for hours and he will say she’s just a friend.

Soon after that I was using his phone to do some stuff and saw some messages that didn’t relate to just a friend. I questioned him after and he said that he has nothing with her. I didn’t nag. I just chilled and watched how things are going.

After he text the woman about coming to pick her up he still said it was a game. I still didn’t nag. So I decided to give her a call and ask what’s going on. She told me that they had sex and he said he doesn’t have a woman because he moved out from the place.

After speaking to the woman, I confronted him. He still lied and said it was a lie. I don’t trust him anymore. I use to give him everything he needs but now when he asks I say I don’t have and can’t help. I still love him but afraid to show it and I still want to help him. Do you think I should forgive him and work things out or let him move on with his life? I need your help.

Confused

Dear Miss: I am very curious. What do you want to help this man with? Is he depending on your financially or something?

I must give this man an award for Player of the Year. What amuses me is that he brought you to meet his parents without telling you he is already married. And after finding out during the trip at his parent’s house that he has been lying to you all this time, you stayed with him? Wow!

What made it worst is, he has been seeing two other women, including his wife, while being with you, and you’re still considering whether you should stay or leave? You get evidence that he is a liar and a player and you’re still considering staying with him?

The advice I am going to live is not just for you but all women out there. Not only should you stay miles away from married men, but DO NOT, EVER, EVER, EVER entertain their excuse that they’re in the process of a divorce. Most times, if not all, it is a trick to get in your panties.

Most times these men are NOT going through a divorce. They have good wives and family back home. They just want to give you a little hope because that’s all it takes many times to get some cat. They’re smart and have played this game over and over. I know too many females who have been tricked this way by hearing this lame crap: “Oh, I am married but going through a divorce. Me and my wife are over. Just the final papers I am waiting on.”

If the man is NOT divorced, leave him alone, no friendship, nothing! Unless you can see the final papers saying “divorce completed”, get the hell out of his way or vice versa.

What really angers me is that after having an affair with you, he is cheating on you with another woman and lying about it even when you have evidence.

I suggest you kick this**hole out forthwith. Forgive but no reconciliation in any form. Move on with your life and learn from the silly mistakes.

This man has three women playing dice with: this week for you, next week for her, tonight for the neighbor. LOL. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has more.

Well I hope you learned your lesson. And all the other chicken head women reading this (who are messing with people’s husbands) take a clue.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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29 COMMENTS

  1. woman runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn my girl runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn dont look back tan

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  2. My girl, I was wondering till you said he asking for things. Ebeh bodyea....you can't see the man using you. Poor jab love....move yourself in that pal ok.

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  3. That's a retarded letter and the author knows she should leave the man. People like her just love drama. The man is using you. You are being foolish. That's not love. And them women need to take time to know a person before they jump in with both feet. Which man in St. Lucia doesn't have a woman? Choops tun. Leave

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  4. well the thing is most dudes looking for sex pure and simple but a lot of women claim they don't believe in casual sex and some even behave like you disrespecting them to ask for sex. so they force dudes to lie to them and pretend to be emotionally attached. a lot of heartache would be avoided if more women learn to differentiate between sex and love and that the former can happen perfectly without the latter... so modernise and learn to get your pleasure and stop clinging to them sunday school stories of prince charming and them other mythological beings that will probably save some of you some heartache.

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  5. Think of aids and other sexually transmitted diseases and start running.another bit of advice,GET TESTED my girl.

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  6. I dont know why on God's green earth u bother to ask Willie that question. What do u used to think? Obeviousely its not your brain. I just dont understand some women. Woman take your head from the sand. lord have mercy on us all lol.

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  7. da minute u found out he was married, dat should have been it for u. u were stupid enough to stay with him and provide him with everything he wanted. he don't love u, he's just using u and da neighbor, plus he have no respect for his wife.

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  8. Its women like you that makes men think its ok for them to cheat on their wives! Women we really need to stop messing with other women's husband! Its time we start sending these men back to their wives! Also women we need to stop forgiving men when they cheat on us! Each time we forgive them we condoning their behaviour and they then continue brcause they know we will forgive them! My advice to you is move on with your live and go and get yourself tested for HIV and other STDs

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  9. Darling are u stupid or are u a gorgor. U re seeking advice whether u should stay with or leave an egocentric married man. Darling this man is nothing but an SEXOPATH. That man loves himself not his wife, u or any other woman. He loves the power he s got over u all. Pal if u love yourself, u ll find a man who cares about u.

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  10. In the first place, why are you with a married man? He is the husband to someone already. Even if he divorces this does not break his marriage covenant. Only death does that. Also he is to remain unmarried or reconcile with his wife. The minute you found out he is married you should have walked no matter what excuse he gave. many will say the bible gives permission to divorce, however it never said one is to remarry so stay clear of these types of relationships.

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  11. Yes my Bro you're a top man dem women dem days playing man up to yesterday I by the Ciceron bus stand and one telling her little sister that you must have one man to foot the Super J bill another to pay cable lucelec and wasco! I jump she look at me as if she moving like a Boss! Woman want to play champion them days it's time for man to regain the balance of pose we run tings not woman!

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  12. woman get a std/hiv test done quick quick and hope it`s for the best an leave the broke ass, lying, nothing good man alone choopz

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  13. u should have never let things get this bad. its high time you leave this lil boy (cuz only little boys do this shit) and find yourself a real man.

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  14. we women see the fire but yet still we run towards it so she knows dam well what to do u knows he has a wife and the neighbour but u still talking about you love him woman wake up and stand on your feet and solve this its like u are his bank whats wrong with some of us women jah smfh

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  15. Dis is wrong on different levels lol......wen will the ladies learn, from time you found out he is married you should've stayed away but you chose to move in with him then he left you for days to be with the wife,smh you stayed, probably thinking that he would come back to you,this dude probably thinking I don't believe shes believing what I told her lol, so let me take it up a notch, after he's screwed his wife over screwed you over he add another one to it and you still want to find out should you forgive him? either you must be the most forgiving person on the planet coupled with a very low self esteem or he hasn't screwed enough women to make you realize this isn't a situation to be in, you should probably wait until one of y'all is knocked up so then it'll be that more interesting....take all ur shit from the place y'all lived and get away, break all communication with him, it will hurt in the beginning but you will get over it....don't even have to wonder why all these sti's all around the place smh, we need help......smh....

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  16. well said Willie. this woman needs to have her head checked. Forgive a man who's benn playing you multiple times and ways? She probably needs to get tested and hope the only damage is to her self esteem and not her health. Forgive him but most importantly FORGET him.

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