Suicidal woman wants the public to know her story

Hermisha Rolle, SNO reporter

 Share This On:

A mother of four who says she is at her wits end with relationship problems is contemplating ending her own life.

The woman, who spoke to St. Lucia News Online on a condition of anonymity, said she wants the country to know her story.

To protect her identity, the young woman will be referred to as Jane.

Jane recalled her childhood when she suffered physically, emotionally and sexually, and abused “a lot” by the hands of her mother. And she believes that this has had long-term effects on her, hence her problems to date.

After dropping out of high school in fourth form, she claims her life took a turn for the worst. Consequently, she got pregnant as a teen.

Jane said her biggest problem now is dealing with an abusive and unfaithful lover whom she loves.

She explained that apart from the physical abuse she has had to endure in the seven-year relationship, her boyfriend recently admitted to having another woman whom he does not intend to leave. However, according to Jane, he has pledged that he still wants to be with her.

Although it might sound strange to the normal person, Jane said she is caught between wanting to be with her abusive boyfriend and leaving him. She lives with her aunt, but she is not in her comfort zone, since she cannot contribute financially as she is jobless.

She feels like a “burden”, she lamented. In the past, she has worked after leaving school.

As she reflected Monday morning about her “countless dreaded memories from her childhood abuse, along with the current stresses from her relationship” she started to feel suicidal.

“I started thinking that [maybe] if I didn’t happen then maybe this world would have been better,” she cried.

Jane had sought professional counseling before the birth of her baby. However, she has yet to return to the counselor because of the cost per session. Her baby is now three months old.

While every female should be able to confide in their mother about her problems, Jane can’t because she blames her mom for a lot of her trying times.

Jane’s eldest child is an adult male. He and one of her teenage girls do not live with her. Her other teenage daughter and three-month-old baby are in her care. The “abusive” boyfriend is the baby’s father, Jane told SNO.

(0)(0)
Copyright 2019 St. Lucia News Online. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or distributed.

59 comments

  1. Go to the St.Lucian Crisis Center. The counselling sessions are free

    (0)(0)
  2. this really is a sad story. am sure u are a beautiful young woman and am sure your kids are amazing, and 4 a man 2 be hurting u both physically and mentally, hmmm this is just not right. he ought 2 be ashamed of himself. many men out there need to know a good woman when they see one. and u have been with him for 7 years...................... all i can say right now is 2 put all your trust in GOD. pray and ask him 2 forgive u 4 all your wrong doings, in order 4 u 2 be able 2 forgive this man. u will always be remembered in my prayers. i cant say i know how u feel because i have the best mother, she has never abused me i love her and always want the best 4 her.let the lord know how u feel. pray with your kids your teenage daughter and your baby who are with u.let them know u love them and are grateful for having them here with u. don't let them see u sad, because am sure they love u and most importantly try 2 put him behind u. life goes on another man will be able 2 appreciate u 4 who u are. love u and wish u all the best "Jane"

    (0)(0)
  3. Oh Lord, not anymore of these apostles...preaching all day and night and nothing seems to change. Wake up people, you have all been brainwashed! When have you prayed and something actually came true. Praying for this lady will not help her situation. She needs help physically and mentally via a physciatric.

    (0)(0)
    • "Faith is the assured expectation of realities, though not yet seen, for without faith it is impossible to please God well. Whoever calls upon God must believe that He becomes the rewarder of those earnestly seeking Him" - Hebrews 10. The problem with most people is that we don't realize how dark this world we live in is. We must realize that we NEED GOD and we must call upon Him for help. I have called on Him and HE HAS given me peace that's why I'm encouraging this young lady to do the same. You should do so as well. If we don't cleave to God, the Devil will take over and lead us down the path to pain, heartbreak and death. The Devil walks about like a roaring lion seeking to devour someone. But God is near to those who are broken hearted and if she exercises Faith in Him and calls upon Him He will heal her broken heart and make her whole.

      (0)(0)
    • Mary, It is because of these apostles preaching all day and night and praying for this nation God has spared you, you have been brainwashed to believe God is not real. This woman is in a place in her life where she needs God and prayer just as much as she needs financial, emotional and psychological support. All those criticizing her should step in her shoes for one day and see how her life is. To forgive anyone, she needs forgiveness from God and allow the love of God to reign in her so she can love anyone else - for God is love. Everyone does not deal with abuse the same way, she has a lifetime of scars that no human being can remove, but God can help her find peace in this situation, once she has peace she will get strength to deal with the rest one step at a time. I will pray for you Jane. Don't listen to others who say prayers don't work, cause it worked for me and many others.

      (0)(0)
      • Jesus said: "You are the salt of the earth, if the salt looses taste, what will replace it?". It is up to us to encourge people to turn to God. I have faced heartbreaking circumstances in my life, and by the Grace of God I was granted peace and strength beyond measure. God is able to help you with ANY problem!

        (0)(0)
  4. Yh yh! Oh please with all this shit about feeling bad. I honestly don't feel bad for you cause I want from being raped and abused by my parents as a child and just because of that I vowed never to love anyone more than myself and from that experience. I became a different person and better person. You have to forgive your mom anyway and stop blaming her for wrong decisions you may have contributed to... you're feeling like this cause you think you love this guy and that's who you want and without him, life won't go on but you and I both know it will darling. You're just afraid to start over and envision a better life for yourself and children. Honestly I don't think this is about your childhood past. So be honest with yourself and do what you have to do to better your life. I am pretty sure you've had past relationships where you guys broke up. Did you want to kill yourself? Love yourself before anyone else. Oh Jane! I'm sorry if I sound harsh or Frank but ppl need to stop pitying each other and just be straight forward and honest with each other. I hope to hear about you in the future...

    (0)(0)
    • looshan to the bone

      Some of us are stronger mentally that others but we must recognize too that strength comes from WITHIN and with GOD as your guide EVERYTHING is possible. I am not sorry to say that Jane has caused that man to define WHO SHE IS. SHE LIVES FOR HIM. selfishly she is not able to even think straight that her 4 children DID NOT call themselves to this world and the MOST she can have is LOVE for them. Jane you NEED counseling and FAST. These innocent children that you brought into this world are YOUR responsibility; not the state, not other peoples YOURS. We have to quit blaming people for our circumstances, your mother may not have been the best mother so what? You are not alone. Some mothers have disowned their children or given them up for adoption. Recognize your circumstance for what it is and rise up. It beats me Jane why would you think of taking your LIFE FOR A MAN? a man who obviously does not even care to love you far less feel the same about you. There are many guidance counselors I advise you to please see one. Someone will help you knowing that you are unemployed. Stop finding excuses and do what you have to do to save yourself and your children

      (0)(0)
  5. Ask God to help you by talking to him in prayer,When you feel its to much and you can't pray still get down on your knees and cry it out ,he understand and will still hear you.Read your Bible,seek conselling and listen to some gospel music.Try to be strong for you but especialy for your children sake.
    God bless.

    (0)(0)
  6. I feel for you BUT u have to break out of this cycle! The 1st step you have to take is living your cheating abusing boyfriend! You mean the man can't even provide you with a roof over your head and you putting up with all he's crap! Be strong and do you!

    (0)(0)
  7. Men, we have to do better. We cannot continue treating our women in such a disgraceful manner.

    We are suppose to love, protect, provide and nurture the. Not to abuse and chastise them.

    And to you the men out there, who continue to abuse and mistreat women, one day, you will be held accountable for your actions. You will be questioned by the Divine for the hearing of all Kindreds. You cowards out there, who continue to do this, must STOP and STOP it NOW.

    (0)(0)
  8. I have noticed, there are no free counsellors on island.
    A session per visit ranges from 150 ~200. Not everyone can afford this;evidently.
    Since our health services are zoned, each zone area should have at least 2 psychologist.
    I believe this can assist in the number of depression plaguing home, thus decreasing in suicial ideations and in turn suicide rates.

    (0)(0)
  9. Similar Story but Hopeful

    Really saddened by what you went through. I can identify with it all but as a yound child I was sexually molested by my cousin and in my home background it made it a difficult situation to deal with. My family is very supportive but with my dad being a pastor, I don't imagine he ever thought this would happen to his family and in a church society where people expect perfection from PKs(Pastor's kids) it makes it rough. It was one of those never discussed issues. I went through a really rough patch where I attempted suicide twice, my mom's in health so I knew how to get the job done. My biggest issues were always trust and learning to love myself despite the experince and be confident in myself in such a way that I understood that I deserved better and what happened wasn't my fault. You were a child and you didn't deserve to go through that. I understand the issues with dating cause its something that is difficult for me but I want to encourage u that it gets better. The hurt, the pain it gets better. I always say tell myself it is gonna be a lifelong battle, cause there will be flashbacks, and you will feel that life would be better if u weren't around but look how your story has touched hearts. It means there is purpose to your life. I got to a point where I realized I neeeded help and I found a counselor, I was fortunate enough that I didn't have to pay for sessions but I got help and I made a choice that this thing that happened to me wasn't gonna define my life. And I know its not an easy road but u have to remind yourself that you deserve more and that u being alive is not an accident. Its interesting for my life cause later down the line, I fought for my family to adopt the kid of that same cousin who molested me continuously. The kid was in a bad home facing terrible situation and I was able to say okay, yess you might have done that to me but I've been able to move pass that and I'm not gonna let this situation have a stronghold on my life. The little girl is thriving and happy. Sometimes I think what would happen if I hadn't believed in myself to know that I can heal then this little girl would probably have never gotten to be a part of a family who loves her. I say this all to encourage you. Get out of the relationship, I know its hard but being in something that continuously reminds u of something soo hurtful is not going to help. You will find someone one day who will love u for you and who won't mistreat u. Believe u deserve better. Don't commit suicide, don't attempt, it dosen't help the situation, in the end you're going to leave behind children who love u and who need you. Fight because u have more than enough reason to live. I'm still fighting but I'm gonna continue cause my life is worth it and your life is worth it. So be strong and I will surely remember you in my prayers. Don't give up, you'll be surprised how a little faith and hope and belief in yourself can really go a long way. Be encouraged my dear. Take care and God bless.

    (0)(0)
    • GOD BLESS YOU TOO SISTER!!! ITS A CULTRAL PROBLEM AS A MAN!! I KNOW THAT OVER 80% OF ST.LUCIAN WOMAN ARE CONSTANTLY ABUSED!! EVEN TO THE POINT THAT IF THEY REPORT IT!! THEY ARE THEN SEXUALLY ABUSED BY THE POLICE MAN THAT IS SURPOSED TO HELP?///AND OUR LEGAL SYSTEM!!!! NOT ALL OF US IS LIKE THAT IVE NEVER WANTED A WOMAN THAT DOESNT WANT ME SO I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT TYPE OF BEHAVOUR????!!! BUT YES I KNOW A lot of men that feel its normal, and woman!!! education and castration as a deterant is needed!!! sorry for your pain

      (0)(0)
  10. I too am a survivor of depression and sucidal thoughts however I was able to come out of it ny prayer and getting a job to forcus on, try to get some kind of job training sweetie don't kill yourself u have to live for your kids u don't want them to be abuse by anybody after u are gone u can beat this god is love, leave the man alone, forcus on building on your self u can do it, don't give up, when the pressure builds up go for long walks try to enjoy your baby hug them they are yours, tell them u love them show your kids u love them, you can beat this, be strong when u feel better try to get a job to enpower yourself. Be strong love be strong.

    (0)(0)
  11. Girl try God and the bible. We hv the known women nw in politics like Alvina (no hope) Mary francis etc. Try the bible and the crisis center

    (0)(0)
  12. Oh my god my lady it's just shows how strong you are coming out with these problem you facing that alone will make you a role model to other women out there in the same situation,that's where our community have to come together and help her ,and the kids she mothered have to step up

    (0)(0)
  13. Where are the people who are fighting for the rights of women in the Caribbean.Shame on all those politicians who never put the interest and rights of women first,as it is never right for ANYONE and I mean ANYONE to hit A WOMAN OR CHILD.Really upsetting me.

    (0)(0)
  14. Jane you dont need no special book to read. You need your BIBLE your knees and open your mouth to The Lord. He is your Provider, your deliverer your comforter, your best friend, your peace of mind, your daddy he is your everything.But you cant serve him and man. so you need to choose one God or Man the choice is yours.my sista.be bless.

    (0)(0)
  15. That's soo sad abusive teens have to learn to forgive and forget thts the only way u can move forward taking ur life soesnt vhange a thing she is putting mopre burden on her aunt wen she takes hewre own life who is going to care for ur baby at such.a houng age she has to leave that man does she actually love tht worthless piece of crap more than her own self for her to want to take ur life for a man take ur life for ur children we as adults have to stop rendering and holding on to the past and try to move forward but she shud really seek and go to the crisis center counselling is free of charge its on the calvary big brown creamish building as u leave the anglican primary school

    (0)(0)
    • booms don't you think she could move on if these guys were put in to prison???? why should she forgive; that's the problem you older woman think rape and abuse is a relationship!!!?/ you are sad!!!!

      (0)(0)
  16. just be strong Jane and please remove that thought out of your mind there are people like me who are willing to help i know how it feels i my self feel so sometimes especially when you have to depend on people for everything just be strong my girl GOD WILL SEE YOU THROUGH.

    (0)(0)
  17. Most St Lucian are just some sick bitches,what type of nasty comment is this? For some one who is sucking for help not money, Lord have mercy on those toast minded women out the Who looks at another woman sutation and say these things,heart breaking and all.you or one of your family members have to be in that situation that'd y u guys call her names....don't worry young woman the God of sylus and Paul is that same God today.hold on what the people cannot do,God can.do not kill urself cause u will be pleasing the devil ground,cry unto God cause he knows you struggles, I can only pray with u.put ur knees down and cry Unto the father for help because u are hurting you will worship him in truth and in spirit cause u need the help.asked him for deliverance and it shall not be long and u will be free completely from this whoever, u will not see him but remember what he use to do neither will he be able to see or touch u, he will be long gone.by faith u can move mountain and u are in the position to move that mountain and cast it to the sea,by the power of the holy spirit. People be sensitive to others can u never know where u will be when u fall from your high horse.u are not any better than her or any other. Dust u come in the world dust u go,all u return with us the goodness of your heart cause that what Jesus died for our weaked ways.lady his grace is sufficient for you, by his strip you were healed Go to him and cry your heart out.

    (0)(0)
  18. Hi Jane the Saint Lucia Wellness Centre off these services to the public; Go to the Out patient clinic on a Tuesday and Thursday. The doctor will assess you and recommend counselling days and section. The number for the The wellness clinc is 4560336 ( for further information)

    (0)(0)
  19. I speak for myself, and i can assure you on behalf of many others when i say our prayers are with you. I know it is very hard when you experience these things in life and it is only part of our human nature to feel like this when experiencing hardships. I just hope that you remain strong and know that God is with you. God would not take you to any situation that he cant get you through. He sees and knows all, He knows your every struggle and i am sure he is working out a plan to get you out of it. you dont have to go through this alone, for you have the privilege to take everything to God in prayer. Make full use of it. Just place your life and everything that you are going through in His hands and He will deliver you! Good luck!! 🙂

    (0)(0)
  20. depressedbutrecovering

    Sorry 'jamet'

    (0)(0)
  21. depressedbutrecovering

    Really and truly women are each others worst enemies. I read the comments that followed and what you all must realize is that there are lots of women in St. Lucia in a similar or worse situations than our suicidal friend here. I can testify that if I had not left St. Lucia I would have been on the streets. Depression is undermined and renamed as Janet, salop, malpop but if only women learn to empathize with each other, our situations would be much better.

    (0)(0)
    • Well said depressedb.I am so upset as I am reading about this.She may also be suffering from Post Traumatic stress. It is difficult to get help in the Caribbean for women and children who are going through this abuse and suicidal thoughts every single day.The women and men that are quick to criticise by writing their senseless comments about the young lady should make proper use of the internet and read about Depression and Post Traumatic Stress. All they do is sit in their little world and think they know it all.IGNORANCE IS A DISEASE.Red arrow me all you like I don't give a Toss?

      (0)(0)
  22. Jane i feel your pain i really do. I too was getting licks from my mother as our father was not around. As a matter of fact i first saw my sperm donor at s tender age of nine. I cannot say through that the licks i was getting in those days was abuse. It was called correction. You got your first child very young and continue having more children. Thats what make different from you. I had my first child young also BUT i didnt contd. having children for different men. this is the 21century go on family planning my god. You are depressed bcs you keep on.making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. Get a hold of your life forget the past. Move foward dont keep on bringing that your mother abuse. my mom bust my ass like hell today i am who i am bcs of all these ass whipping. with that saif reguarding thesexuak abuse you did not by whom. seek help so yoy can take care of the little one. may postportum deppression is what you dealing with right now. Taking your own life is a coward way out. Love God first then love yourself and God will do the rest.good luck.

    (0)(0)
  23. wenses Joseph-peter

    Wish I could send you a copy of my book maybe by reading it you,ll find comfort and solace. It's called a woman's journey to success. I was in the same situation at one time and the Lord made a way for me and he can also make a way for you too.

    (0)(0)
  24. my lady i feel your pain , was there when i was young ,i left my mother house as early as 12 yrs, and am 42 married and still had to go through the same with my husband, but GOD will never let you go through that alone he is with you , he will never leave you forsake you, in life you have to love yourself first and seek GOD, and he will show you the way , he loves you, ok my lady

    (0)(0)
  25. Sorry to hear about your situation and the depression that ensued afterwards. It takes a STRONG person to open up to a stranger about their worst experiences. You have made the first step, you trusted someone enough to talk about it and ask for guidance. The next step is getting out of the situation that you are in. Have faith and don't give up, it WILL happen.

    (0)(0)
  26. Sorry to hear about your experience and the depression that ensued.It takes a strong person to find the courage to standd up and talk to someone about their issues. The tthing is, you have made the first step. You TRUSTED

    (0)(0)
  27. Only you can break the cycle of yout life right now. What of your young child who are u leaving her for. Your daughter is gonna resent u for taking her life by leaving the burden on her you will be doing to her what your mom did except you are ready to take the coward way out. I may not begin to say I know how u feel becos I don't. But if there is one thing I know is that God Blessed us with a mind use it.Also if your right hands offends you cut it of. Ask yourself is the abuse worth it somebody can only do to you what u allow them. Look in the mirror and tell yourself I am worth more than my abuser and give your Kids a mother to look up to. Be strong at your weakest God is strong

    (0)(0)
  28. If she want to visit a counselor to help with her problems she can visit Father Ignatius Cetoute at St. Benedict's Parish on the Morne. She can also visit him at the FAYMES Office opposite the Ave Maria Infant School. She can also call the Parish Office to speak with him at 451-8860 / 451-6097. I have the utmost confidence in him he helped me when I was suicidal after my daughter's death.

    (0)(0)
  29. omg dis reminds me of the story on hts last month where the young mother of two fron vfort was speaking of being suicidal and her abusive ex taunting his life now his current gf have joined in the torment of her. this cases need to be given close attention my heart goes out to them both and their kids. hope counselling and a better oportunity comes to help them out

    (0)(0)
  30. I guess the man is just heartless treating this woman this way don't kill your self over this supid idiot ur kids need u at the end of the day he will pay

    (0)(0)
    • he is proberly broke, drunk and ignorant!!! still does not excuse his behaviour!!!! but he proberly doesn't know any better like a lot of Lucian men!!!

      (0)(0)
  31. "“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord.” - Jeremiah 17:5. My girl, I understand how you feel. Sometimes we put too much trust in people, in our families, in the Men we decide to get friendly too. But my sweetheart, there is no pain you can hold in your heart that your heavenly Father cannot soothe. People always used to tell me its not good to love someone too much because God says that he wants us to love no one more than we love him and that is idolatry. I never understood that, but now, after all these years, I realize that whenever you give more love, hope, devotion and commitment to any person than God you always get hurt and he knows it. Sometimes we construct idols for ourselves and we wonder why our life is not happy. Turn to the Lord, ask Him to grant you peace, to direct your steps and reveal himself to you and believe me my girl He will turn your whole life around so easily you won't even understand yourself. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean upon your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowlege Him and He shall direct your path". Turn to the Lord, trust me my girl I did and it works! I will pray for you and all people who are sad and broken hearted. We need to turn away from hurting each other and as a nation give our lives back to God, there are too many stories like this all around the place. SMH

    (0)(0)
  32. That's hard to be abused from childhood until then trust in god and he will guide u through cause life is not easy one day things must get better pray pray talk to god he's the answer to your problem I'm so glad she came out and shared her story with the public cause there's lots of young mothers going through the same situation as her but trust me god never fails us he's the same god in the morning , afternoon and the same god in the evening god bless you my darling

    (0)(0)
  33. this is really sad... so many women go through situations like this and have no one and no where to turn. the negativity overwhelms us and it becomes worst. love often carries us through however you are not a boxing bag and you deserve so much better. its ok to be alone, there is so much peace and comfort in that. love your self first, take some ME time and focus on you, developing you and making you worth every blessing. life can be so beautiful but you must work towards making it beautiful and you should start with you.

    walk by faith and not by sight.

    (0)(0)
  34. INSTEAD OF ENDING UR LIVE WHERE IS UR FAITH AND HOPE.IS THIS THEE EXAMPLE U SET FOR UR FOUR CHILDREN GO TOO A COUNSELLER INSTEAD AND LET THE PAST TENSE BE PAST.

    (0)(0)
    • powerpuff most people in lucia don't know what counseller means!!! I bet I could put enough stress on you for you to end your life, you insencetivy cunt!!!!!!

      (0)(0)
  35. Sad story, unfortunately this is a similar story for lots of lucian girls,their mothers had them young, had to "be" with somebody just to take care of them ,then the person ends up abusing the children,smfh, just so sad....

    (0)(0)
  36. My heart goes out to you my girl, please take concerned advise and go the the crisis centre if not for yourself but for your kids.....and always put God first he will never let you down.

    (0)(0)
  37. Put your trust and your life into the hands of the Almighty. Taking your own life will not put you in a good standing with Him. He gave you life. Let Him be the one to take it. Almighty God sent His only Son to die for all our sins. Jesus shed His blood for us. Consider how we have continually disgraced God and put shame in His eyes because of our sins. My advice to you is to open your heart to Him. Bring all your burdens to Him. Trust Him completely and live in obedience to His commandments. Listen to Him when He talks to you through His Holy spirit. He will fix your life. You love the man but you are not happy with him. You are living in fornication. Get out of it. Putting your trust in people only brings disappointment and shame. Jesus said when your mother and father forsake you, He will take you up.Psalm 27:10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.
    Like you my mother was never there for me and still isn't but I rose above that and made it on my own. I put myself through school so I could get a decent job.
    We all have sinned but we do not have to continue in sin. Start living a pure and obedient life dedicated to Jesus and He will transform you. Obedience is the key. We cannot say we love and believe in Him yet continue to disobey Him because He will not hear us.

    (0)(0)
  38. Felt really sad reading this. God is there for you. He never abandoned you and never will. Give him your problems and leave them there. Let him be your counselor and lead you away from the feelings that haunt you. You are not alone. There are many women who have been through this and are still going through it. But understand that you can't expect better to happen if you are still looking in the past. Forgiveness is not for the person its for you... Let this be your first step and forgive those who did you wrong.. The devil is trying to confuse you as to what love really is... God is the only way out of this depression. I will keep you in my prayers as well!

    (0)(0)
  39. hmm my heart goes out for this young lady. I am sure a lot of young women can relate to this situation. Just hang in there, GOd never gives us more than we can bear.

    (0)(0)
  40. What is the name of your novel

    (0)(0)
    • Oh shut up. This person may be in some real danger. If you don't believe her story don't comment or atleast give some sensible advice. At the end of the day if this person commits suicide, you would know that you tried to help and not encouraged it.

      (0)(0)
  41. Omg this is soo sad..have her go to the crisis center the counseling sessions are free of charge and they will offer her great help. She will be counseled and they can even fit her into the program they have now with teaching women skills to get a good job...i really hope she gets help before its too late cuz her children will end up growing up without a mother

    (0)(0)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.