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The woman, who spoke to St. Lucia News Online on a condition of anonymity, said she wants the country to know her story.
To protect her identity, the young woman will be referred to as Jane.
Jane recalled her childhood when she suffered physically, emotionally and sexually, and abused “a lot” by the hands of her mother. And she believes that this has had long-term effects on her, hence her problems to date.
After dropping out of high school in fourth form, she claims her life took a turn for the worst. Consequently, she got pregnant as a teen.
Jane said her biggest problem now is dealing with an abusive and unfaithful lover whom she loves.
She explained that apart from the physical abuse she has had to endure in the seven-year relationship, her boyfriend recently admitted to having another woman whom he does not intend to leave. However, according to Jane, he has pledged that he still wants to be with her.
Although it might sound strange to the normal person, Jane said she is caught between wanting to be with her abusive boyfriend and leaving him. She lives with her aunt, but she is not in her comfort zone, since she cannot contribute financially as she is jobless.
She feels like a “burden”, she lamented. In the past, she has worked after leaving school.
As she reflected Monday morning about her “countless dreaded memories from her childhood abuse, along with the current stresses from her relationship” she started to feel suicidal.
“I started thinking that [maybe] if I didn’t happen then maybe this world would have been better,” she cried.
Jane had sought professional counseling before the birth of her baby. However, she has yet to return to the counselor because of the cost per session. Her baby is now three months old.
While every female should be able to confide in their mother about her problems, Jane can’t because she blames her mom for a lot of her trying times.
Jane’s eldest child is an adult male. He and one of her teenage girls do not live with her. Her other teenage daughter and three-month-old baby are in her care. The “abusive” boyfriend is the baby’s father, Jane told SNO.