Should I leave my man for this new guy?

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Should I leave my man for this new guy?

Dear Willie: I am 30 years old. My man is 36 with three kids — last two with one baby momma; the youngest being eight years.

I have none. We have been dating for eight months and his attitude sucks, but he has never been violent towards me. He has a problem with trust, saying that he has been with the baby momma for 10 years till they broke up because she cheated on him. He said he doesn’t want to be hurt again so he stayed single for seven years with only one-night stands till he met me.

I’m not worried. All testing was done before sex started, but he accuses me of having a man in my room and that I made the man keep quiet so I can speak to him on the phone since we live six hours away from each other.

I have never cheated on him. This makes me suspect his fidelity instead. Also, he threw away a new pair of panties he bought me that I forgot at his place. He went abroad for 28 days and my friend introduced me to this other guy. Worse yet, this guy is 37 with a separated wife (separated for four years now) whom he still lives with in separate rooms (wa eye nuh see heart nuh leap). He claimed that they have to pay off the mortgage on the house then sell it and get a place of his own. He said this was his plan before he even met me.

He also claims she doesn’t want to buy him out and he doesn’t want to buy out either. They have no kids but he has one with another woman before he met the separated wifey.  He said he loves me (already) even though I have only known him for two weeks. He use to pressure me for sex but gave up when he realised it wasn’t going to happen.

I am not a two-man woman. He knows I have a man. I told him the first time I met him. But he is still around whenever he is off work, and he calls me for long hours even when at home at any time, and always surprises me with stuff (but then again you can’t catch flies with vinegar if you know what I mean) .

He seems to be nice but I don’t know for sure. I love my man although I have never told him so and I feel like he loves me even though he has never said it. But I kinda like this guy too. I need help to make a decision. My guy will be back soon. Should I leave him or forget this other guy I just met or forget them both?

Dear Miss: Do you love this new ‘guy’? Ask yourself that.

You said you love your man so why are you entertaining this guy who claims to be separated? What if he is lying?

Why even considering dumping the known for the unknown?

I urge you to stop entertaining this other guy before you create a huge miss or do something you will regret.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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27 COMMENTS

  1. Hey,if the guy has insecurities then he is probably not meant to be in a relationship with you , relationships are about mainly about trust . And he shouldn't definately date someone 6 hours away. I suggest you end that relationship either give him time to change or wait on someone better , its better to wait on something good and never change rather than sleeping with different men while searching for one . As for the guy who is separated from his wife . This is definately what U don't want to get yourself into , if he is asking you for sex then he asking U to be with him then that should ring a bell for U , this guy doesn't respect if he thinks U would just give it up like that. Him sharing house with his wife is a joke , two people who got separted wouldn't want to be under the same roof unless one or the other see there is hope.just wait be single .p

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  2. Yes 6 hrs overseas. I kive in brooklyn new york. Buffalo is also in new york yet still it takes 8 hrs from one to the other.

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  3. Every week on Dear Willie there is always a confused woman asking Willie for advice on their man what a mess.
    Look like these women dont used their brain to think at all. They are all so confused its a joke. Nobody adked about ways to bettet themselves its always about man this or man that. Get a life they will come and go, they always do.

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  4. girl u rell stupid, as soon as mate taste the cat all those long telephone calls and surprises out the door. Advise to you get educated ,get a job and concentrate on ur self first.

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  5. Married man NO way. Forget that one. Man with 3 children already, only 8 months with you but 10 years with baby mama and already all that drama? These are signs. Throwing away your panties, suspects you of cheating? Hey hey hey twop roro for a relationship so young. Ki tay misyay. Leave mate alone. Stay single. Nowhere says you must have a man. Stay single and pure.

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  6. I NEED A DRINK.... SMH... AND THESE SAME WOMEN WONDER WHY THE MEN TREAT THEM THE WAY THEY DO... SMH...CHOOPZ.. TOLERATING TO MUCH CRAP...ITS LIKE YOURLL DONT LOVE YOURLL SELF... OR YOURLLL LOVE THE MAN MORE....AS A WOMAN YOU KW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT... MY GUESS YOURE JUST AFRAID...

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  7. Leave both of them, you deserve better! Baby momma insecure man versus married man. Both is stress and too much drama.

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  8. Gonna say it anyway. Have it ever occured to you,she may be a lucian but resides else where.( Another country). Places like the usa,canada,england. With that said young lady that decision can only be yours A man still living with his so called seperated wife because of mortgage sounds suspicious. Weigh your pros and cons on either side u can tell by the story there are more cons. Remember the grass isn't always greener in the other side.

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  9. smh.is a BIG, FAT, STINK kick u and a whole bunch of other women need! smfh choops. sakway. n 6 hours away? u livin in a hole in soufriere and he livin riiiiiiittte up cap estate? aa how is me uh? 6 hrs. abeh sorry pal. my advice is 2 shut ur legs, stay single n figure ur damn self out. TONEER!

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  10. Theres a trend in all those letters the Lucian ladies are writing, theres a lot of drama in their lives, y do we like it when our lives have drama like a soap opera and not when it's peaceful like god intended?

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  11. St.Lucian Woman to dess for man. Work on making yourself happy and the right p[erson will come along.

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  12. you girls why don't you behave yourselves STOP being foolish STAY with your man leave people man alone OMG!!

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  13. Lady firstly, going out with a married man is a no no. Put a quick stop to it. Your so called boyfriend, if I were you I would get out of it. I am 50 years old and from my experience, I see much problems in the future with this guy and all the baby mama for 10 years drama. We ladies like too much problems for ourselves. Leave both of them alone. Nothing wrong in being single. Rather be single than stressed.

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  14. ha ha ha ha CRAP!!!!
    HE HAS AN 8YEAR OLD WITH HIS EX BUT HE WAS SINGLE FOR 7 YEARS AND HAS BEEN WITH YOU FOR 8.
    NO WHERE IN ST LUCIA IS 6HOURS AWAY.
    This one is CRAP!!!
    to the looser who wrote this get a life

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  15. I believe honey you need to wait for something better. Too much drama will arise. Next thing the separated husband will tell u he working things out. Trop drama. Go to church fast and pray you go get ur own man who is trustworthy

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