I grew up being raised by family members along with my other siblings, who used to face family problems like me because my mother was not around. As a young child growing up my desire was to have my mother’s love and attention which I didn’t get.
I wanted to have a good relationship with her but it never happened. I grew up in a divided home where everyone was doing whatever they wanted. I was feeling despised and rejected. My mother used to embarrass me in front of others and sometimes on the streets. I used to be ashamed. I hated and despised her because of that.
In my house we didn’t hear such words as “good morning” or “thank you”. All day long my house was filled with profane words and spells. All that came out of our mouth was words such as: “All u will never prosper in life”, “Your life will never reach anywhere” and so on. Through all those insults and rejection, I grew up despising her. I often passed her on the streets and pretended she never existed. This occurred for more than 20 years.
I felt that she had left me behind and this is the reason why I suffered many traumas. All this brought sadness, hatred, grudges, and pain. In my mind, I didn’t want to forgive her and let go. I vividly recalled one time my sisters had a dispute and she joined in fighting with my eldest sister which resulted in us having to go to the police station for her.
She would torment me on my job. One day she came with a knife to stab me during working hours. This situation looked hopeless like it would never end. As a result, all this brought destruction to our family life. I really wanted help but I didn’t know where to find help. I was suicidal, day and night I was tormented by evil forces. I constantly had thoughts of killing myself.
I was introduced to the YPG (Youth Power Group) and with the help of the youth coordinator and his wife, I learned how to value myself, be confident, believe in myself and have a higher self-esteem.
When I came I didn’t understand everything immediately. I was unemployed, sick and my family was destroyed. I knew I was in need of deliverance and I received help with that.
Today my life is transformed, I am completely free. It was not easy, I needed to persevere. My relationship with my mother is restored after twenty years of disgrace and shame.
Today God has changed my mother into a different person and change me as well. She is more humble, kind and loving. She is now the mother that I always wanted to have. Today my sisters and my mother are like best friends.
Today I can say: “Through God, all things are possible to those who believed.”
– Tamara John
:: Good to Know::
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Saint Lucia’s biggest youth network, offering a range of activities and practical advice to help young people become successful adults.