Same-sex partner charged with murder in Thorncliffe stabbing – Calgary Herald

Same-sex partner charged with murder in Thorncliffe stabbing – Calgary Herald
Didier. * Photo by Stuart Gradon/Calgary Herald
Didier. * Photo by Stuart Gradon/Calgary Herald

A St. Lucia man who dreamed of becoming a police officer has been identified as the victim in a stabbing in Thorncliffe on Wednesday.

His same-sex partner has been charged with second-degree murder in the case.

Police continue to look into the events that lead up to the seventh homicide of the year in Calgary, but Thursday said they have charged a 29-year-old man who was involved in a domestic relationship with the victim.

Homicide unit Staff Sgt. Grant Miller said the argument was over “a disagreement in their relationship.”

A weapon has been recovered by police.

“We determined pretty quickly who we were looking for and found him in a very close proximity,” said Miller.

Police are still looking into what happened.

“We’re not aware of any previous incidents with these individuals,” Miller said Thursday.

“From the homicide perspective, no, we do not see many same-sex domestic homicides,” said Miller.

Royal St. Lucia Police Force spokeswoman Aniel Innocent said the victim, Kurlan Rick Joseph, 25, had applied to become a police officer with their department in 2011.

“Initially, he was accepted and he was going through his recruitment period and process, but then because of a conviction prior to when he applied to become a police officer, he was (disqualified),” said Innocent.

“He did not go through the entire process.”

She said it was a drug conviction that kept him from becoming a police officer.

Innocent said her police department has not been notified by Canadian authorities about the stabbing.

“Your offices in Canada have not contacted our ministry, so I was unable to get any information,” she said.

Haden Gidel Didier, 29, has been charged with second-degree murder. He will appear in court next Friday.

Miller said the charge implies a lack of premeditation.

“In every situation it speaks to the nature of a spontaneous act,” said Miller.

Joseph

Calgary-based psychologist Jane Oxenbury, co chair of Safety Under the Rainbow, said the case highlights a common reluctance for some people in same-sex relationships to seek help when the relationship turns violent.

That’s because the victims may feel like they have to come out of the closet to report the violence, and that they worry they will be discriminated against.

“It’s very hard for them to believe that they are not going to be discriminated against again or taken seriously, so they tend to err on the side of, ‘I’ll just leave the relationship and go elsewhere,’ ” she said Thursday.

“Unfortunately, that means that the perpetrator goes on and the victim does not get the assistance they need.”

“In every situation it speaks to the nature of a spontaneous act,” said Miller.

Calgary-based psychologist Jane Oxenbury, co chair of Safety Under the Rainbow, said the case highlights a common reluctance for some people in same-sex relationships to seek help when the relationship turns violent.

That’s because the victims may feel like they have to come out of the closet to report the violence, and that they worry they will be discriminated against.

“It’s very hard for them to believe that they are not going to be discriminated against again or taken seriously, so they tend to err on the side of, ‘I’ll just leave the relationship and go elsewhere,’ ” she said Thursday. “Unfortunately, that means that the perpetrator goes on and the victim does not get the assistance they need.”

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56 COMMENTS

  1. He went through the entire process and even got an award! Do you want to see it? I mean you guys should be ashamed! Lie about being gay but don't lie about being a police officer!

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  2. I know haden personally from when he lived in Toronto and I only knew him as gay. He was openly gay and proud of it. The sexuality of these men has nothing to do with what a sad situation this is. Haden was a nice person and fun to be around. I am shocked that this has happened and feel for both sides. Hopefully the truth will come out. Who knows if he was actually the attacker or if he was defending himself. As stated in the articles, there have never been any problems with these men that the police are aware of. If this was a domestic abuse situation. chances are the police would know them by now. Even the neighbours would have called if there was fighting going on and usually in bad relationships there are incidents that lead up to a murder. All we can do is pray for both sides and hope their families can find peace.

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  3. yes its true haden send for rick,that
    i know for sure. rick said his family all live in toronto and he move to calgary to work. now my question is why lie? u knew haden was gay yet still u came to canada. where is his family?

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  4. Ex Girlfriend u don't know Kurlan at all cuz for one he would have told u was Haden that sent for him. And kurlan name not on no lease so how the ass will haden leave his apartment for him. Is kurlan that had to leave and go with his woman if he wanted sooo get the facts pal

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  5. all of u all talking crap who sent for rick from st lucia haden so stop talking so many of r men in st lucia that bulling and r wife and girlfriends dont know

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  6. EVERYBODY HAS SOMETHING TO SAY BOUT KURLAN. HOW MANY OF U KNEW HIM PERSONALLY? I DID. HE IS AS STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW. KURLAN LOVED PUSSY AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE PUSSY. HE AND THE GUY HAS IN A DISAGREEMENT NOT BECAUSE THE GUY LIKED HIM IT'S WAS BECAUSED THE GUY WANTED HIS GIRL. KURLAN WANTED THE GUY TO MOVE OUT SO HIS GIRL CAN MOVE IN. THEY ALWAYS ARGUED OVER HER BECAUSE APPARENTLY HE MEET HER THROUGH HIM. THOSE ARE THE FACT. SO STOP SLAMMING HIS NAME.KURLAN AND I MAY NOT BE TOGETHER BUT WE KEPT IN TOUCH

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    • @ EX GIRLFRIEND!!!!Oh please......You can scream and shout bloody hell all you want, no one will listen to you. Now be quiet and go on your merry way,because he granted you a favor by playing with your little furry magnet you took it seriously? May be you were bamboozled also, he played everyone of you all for a fool wowwwww me roro. Now go to your Primary care Physician and check your health thanks.

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      • @that is me alright, where is he now? he dead dirty batty boy!!!oh no poop boy dem!

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    • Ex Girlfriend u don’t know Kurlan at all cuz for one he would have told u was Haden that sent for him. And kurlan name not on no lease so how the ass will haden leave his apartment for him. Is kurlan that had to leave and go with his woman if he wanted sooo get the facts pal

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  7. why are people so quick to judge, gay or no gay he lost his life a mother has lost a son. can we at least have some sympathy and give the family some words of courage?

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  8. someone is dead and u find more comments about their sexuality rather than RIP.everyone has a right to be whoever they want, be it gay or straight..like "Ur Pusha" said this is canada..lots of people are claiming that they are gay just to get permanent resident.

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  9. May his soul rest in perfect peace. Only the almighty can judge him. He who is without since may he cast the first stone.

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    • Nandy....Let me lend you a helping hand. It reads he who is without sins let him cast the first stone. We are so quick to cover ones track, again we all must remember whatever happens in the dark MUST come out in the light food for thoughts.

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  10. PPL stop making a fool of yourselves.Tell how many people who are gay in st,lucia??? You will say--I don't know,right.So how u know Rick was not bisexual/I think he was.You hv been dupe.LOL

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  11. How Spartan University has been thrown into British Columbia's (Canada) Provincial Election.

    http://www.vancouversun.com/news/defends+Jane+Shin+over+chinkasaurus+comment+while+Liberals+question+credentials/8318585/story.html

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