I’m 25 now and he’s 27. We’ve been through so much together and our relationship has had its ups and downs. I wish I could say I love him but at this point in our relationship I am certain that I don’t. I am not attracted to him anymore. I find it difficult to kiss him and even rarely have sex with him.
Don’t get me wrong, I care for him a lot to a point where I don’t want to see him get hurt, especially not by me, hence the reason I am in this situation.
In our second year of being together, he cheated on me despite the fact that he confessed his undying love for me, and promised me that he would never hurt me. That’s where it all went wrong; after he cheated Willie I found out, and after confronting him several times about it, he still denied.
I felt so broken-hearted. I tried to leave him but after all he had done to me I still found it in my heart to try and forgive him so I stayed. But I have to admit that up to a day like today, I have not forgiven him Willie and I don’t think I will ever.
After that our relationship was never the same to me. I just felt like I had to take revenge, therefore I cheated on him and two years later. I’ve cheated on him with five different guys, and don’t worry, yes I’ve been using protection all the time, but although I know it’s wrong, I can’t stop. It’s like I’m addicted to it.
I’ve tried breaking up with him in the past many times Willie but he keeps finding ways of getting me to come back and with our history together I also find it hard to up and leave. He’s also the type of guy who likes avoiding his problems. He knows I don’t love him Willie and he know I cheated but he doesn’t know that I still cheat. It’s like he’s looking beyond all of that.
I feel really bad for what I’m doing to him because he treats me real nice and also gives me anything I asks him for, as long as it’s within his reach, whereas I never do anything for him, despite the fact that I work and make a decent salary. I have never made the effort to put gas in his car despite the fact that he transports me to and from work Monday to Friday.
I know I sound like a really bad person but to me all this is his punishment for cheating on me and making me feel the way I felt. But right now I am depressed, I want out of the relationship, but I really don’t want to see him get hurt.
I’m not really seeking advice since I know exactly what I have to do, but I just want to hear the readers’ opinions about my situation.
Beautiful and Troubled
Dear Beautiful and Troubled:
I am so sorry about how your situation has turned out. I am also happy that you have acknowledged what you have done wrong and what you’re doing wrong.
Don’t continue to use this guy as it might backfire. Tell him it’s over and let him give you some space. I am pleased that you used protection while you cheated with five different men. I also hope he used protection when he cheated as well.
I will also be curious to see what my readers have to say.
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