Potential boyfriend caught conspiring to have sex with girls on Facebook

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Potential boyfriend caught conspiring to have sex with girls on Facebook

Dear Dr. Cindy: I met this guy three months ago. Everything was going well until I accidentally signed into his Facebook account and read messages of him conspiring to have sex with other girls.

Since then I have not been able to trust him. We keep having frequent arguments over this and other suspicious things, though he has told me sorry and explained he won’t do it again. He says I am too insecure, but I know I am naturally not but if I get reason to, I will become insecure.

He has even gone as far as telling me about his every whereabouts and everything he does. But I still cannot trust him. He is interested in a relationship. And while I have feelings for him, I am confused as to whether or not I should take this step and confirm a relationship.

Should I enter into a relationship with this young man?

SS

Dear SS:

As a result of the findings of the messages from his Facebook, you are cautious of trusting him; this is normal. You indicated that due to your lack of trust in his fidelity, there have been frequent arguments.

The arguments may continue if the trust continues to be a factor for you. It can be argued that he is trying to work on the trust by letting you know of his whereabouts. Is this, however, sufficient for you?

You stated that he is interested in a relationship, and you admit to having feelings for him. I suggest not to make a hasty decision just to make one, as you have indicated you are confused. Before you make the decision of whether or not to enter into a relationship with the young man, I suggest looking at the possible consequences of you not trusting him, such as the frequent arguments. Are you willing to live with the consequences, whatever they are?

Also, realize that trust is built over time and perhaps he may be able to gain your trust overtime, should he be sincere in his efforts?

Lastly, you stated that you cannot trust him, know that because of his actions, you choose not to trust him.

To trust is actually a choice, not a feeling. The choice is yours.

Best Wishes,
Dr. Cindy

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15 COMMENTS

  1. Spend one more night with him, at his place.

    Get up early the next morning, ensuring that you don't wake him.

    Take your lipstick and scrawl on his bathroom mirror "Welcome to the world of AIDS".

    Leave him to sleep in, quietly leave his place, let him find the message when he gets up later.

    Don't return his messages, never talk with him again, and move on with eventually meeting a man that you'll be able to trust.

    Done.

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    • Now, that's what I call a real deal for the youth of St.Lucia. Keep it up Monroe College. I am really eictxed about this opportunity by the team at Monroe college first it was Dr.Mack, now it's Monroe college. Our present government needs to be more proactive in that regard and not simply react to such important gestures from others, that is, only when it is convenient for them to do so. What a group of shameful so-called leaders! Give us back our country!!!!!!

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  2. Yes accidentally signing in to a facebook account is not far fetched, I've used my pc after my girlfriend has used it and signed on to her facebook account, the difference is I don't read her messages, so while signing on is completely accidental, reading the messages however is a completly different story, she never trusted him in the first place, if she trusted him she would log out of his facebook,but something inside her already knows he can't be trusted, what more proof does she need? This guy isn't for her,he's already making sex appointments while tryin to convince her that he's the one for her,but she'll stay and get her heart broken and then blame all men......

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  3. "Accidentally" signing in to a facebook account is not as far fetched as it seems: once somebody has signed in to a fb account on a device and checked the "remember my account/ password" (I don't recall the exact wording), anybody who visits the site after will first be directed to their account. It is especially possible if the lovers shared a laptop or other internet capable device....

    Think outside the box, the girl is not a Mako lol.

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  4. i agree to trust is a choice but he has work to earn trust..if u see he is trying give him da benefit of a doubt...but tke it slow ensure u both are on da same page before confirming a serious relationship with him..my advice to u.

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    • lucian girl...its girls like you deem to take it slow only when it benefits you. Regardless whether he is a marijuana addict or a constant blatant cheater, you would still wanna take it slow as to not be commited because he does not have any moral value to be deemed your boyfriend. trust me that taking it slow while you have your blissfull sex with him ...knowing he is not the one for you is NO PROBLEM SMDH. Talk about the moral decline of society and this ungodly generation. I doubt you will ever indroduce that "take it slow" sex partner of yours to your mom or your family! Such degenerates!!!

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      • what are u talking about u are interpreting "taking slow" the way u wnt ..u are nt perfect so i'm certain at one point in life sum one might have to tke things slow wit u..jus means to hve a lil patience,give ppl time to change,time to realise wat dey hve doesn't mean u tke things slow 4ever ..an it is women lke u who encourage women to have sexual encounters with over a dozen men within a years period(jus cuz ur'll say i nt wasting time on no man or i nt in no man papyshow)..so nxt time u commentin think of a positive meaning of "TAKING IT SLOW"

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        • oh and read to understand bcuz wat u are saying doesn't hve anything to do with wat i said ...u had me lost.nxt page

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          • "being on the same page" what do you mean by that? while juxtaposing it with "take it slow" only mean that this "take it slow partner is just your "sex buddy". Hey nothing wrong with having your sex buddy LOLOL. Its just the nature of the BEAST that some guys trick women "knuckleheads" to take it slow, while they sex them up until they tired of them and toss them away...all the while knowing that he was never committed to you. Trust me, most men at a young age below their thirties, all they want to do sweetheart is to HIT AND QUIT! LMAO!!! I've had a lot of my male friends make fun of women--->the not too smart ones at that, laughing with their other boys LOLOL LMAO SMDH!!!!

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          • well if u say so ...an i knw sum men are dirty ..let's jus hope wateva decision she mkes benefits her

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  5. Oh an by the way how do you accidentally sign on to a facebook account i want to try it on my girl friend's account lololol

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  6. Rotfl lololololol i like dis "accidentally signed in to his facebook" is dat how we call spyin nowadays? I swear dis made my day today, on to the advice, if he was "conspiring" to have sex with other girls as you put it then if you didn't catch him he'd probably do it, which probably means he can't be trusted,which means you should be careful with your heart, unless you want it broken, play it safe he's probably a cheater......

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    • “Accidentally” signing in to a facebook account is not as far fetched as it seems: once somebody has signed in to a fb account on a device and checked the “remember my account/ password” (I don’t recall the exact wording), anybody who visits the site after will first be directed to their account. It is especially possible if the lovers shared a laptop or other internet capable device….

      Think outside the box, the girl is not a Mako lol.

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