Dear Willie: I am madly in love with my co-worker. Earlier this year, I was in a relationship and my co-worker and I got really close but respected each other’s relationships. After my boyfriend moved away, my co-worker broke up with his girlfriend and we got closer, eventually having sex a few times.
A short while after him being a loner, he started to pull away from me claiming he likes me but he isn’t comfortable being in a relationship so soon, and I agreed. After that we stopped speaking because I found out that he had started seeing someone just after he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship.
Then a month ago I found out I was carrying his baby. We were both excited and he broke up with the girl and started making changes and treating me the way he used to in the beginning – even though we agreed not to force each other into a relationship because of the baby.
But a week ago, my life turned dark when I lost my baby. He is continuing to be there for me and take care of me like he was when I was pregnant but my feelings for him have grown. I don’t want to scare him away by telling him, so I pretend to be OK with the friendship that we have. But I’m miserable. What should I do?
Dear Miserable: This guy, in my opinion, is a master class player. Re-read what you just sent carefully.
One of your points that stood out is the fact that he told you he is not interested in a relationship, yet he went onto to date someone else. This should be the first wake-up call that the guy is NOT interested in being with you. He is a player.
And you were wrong to be messing with him – sexually or not – while you were in a relationship. Men are not as stupid as you think. The fact that you were falling for him while you had a boyfriend, caused him to lose respect for you. But of course he would not have told you that. He just wanted to ensure he continued to play the game and get in your panties. And he succeeded.
He no longer needs you. He is just playing nice so he can continue to get some free milk and meat.
I urge you to move on.
On another note, why is it that most of my letters involve co-workers dating each other? Is that a norm in St. Lucia? I rarely hear good news about dating in the workplace. I strongly do not encourage it. That person is up in your sauce at work, and up in your sauce after work. Anyway…..
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