Player getting free milk and meat

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Player getting free milk and meat


Dear Willie:
I am madly in love with my co-worker. Earlier this year, I was in a relationship and my co-worker and I got really close but respected each other’s relationships. After my boyfriend moved away, my co-worker broke up with his girlfriend and we got closer, eventually having sex a few times.

A short while after him being a loner, he started to pull away from me claiming he likes me but he isn’t comfortable being in a relationship so soon, and I agreed. After that we stopped speaking because I found out that he had started seeing someone just after he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship.

Then a month ago I found out I was carrying his baby. We were both excited and he broke up with the girl and started making changes and treating me the way he used to in the beginning – even though we agreed not to force each other into a relationship because of the baby.

But a week ago, my life turned dark when I lost my baby. He is continuing to be there for me and take care of me like he was when I was pregnant but my feelings for him have grown. I don’t want to scare him away by telling him, so I pretend to be OK with the friendship that we have. But I’m miserable. What should I do?

Miserable

Dear Miserable: This guy, in my opinion, is a master class player. Re-read what you just sent carefully.

One of your points that stood out is the fact that he told you he is not interested in a relationship, yet he went onto to date someone else. This should be the first wake-up call that the guy is NOT interested in being with you. He is a player.

And you were wrong to be messing with him – sexually or not – while you were in a relationship. Men are not as stupid as you think. The fact that you were falling for him while you had a boyfriend, caused him to lose respect for you. But of course he would not have told you that. He just wanted to ensure he continued to play the game and get in your panties. And he succeeded.

He no longer needs you. He is just playing nice so he can continue to get some free milk and meat.

I urge you to move on.

On another note, why is it that most of my letters involve co-workers dating each other? Is that a norm in St. Lucia? I rarely hear good news about dating in the workplace. I strongly do not encourage it. That person is up in your sauce at work, and up in your sauce after work. Anyway…..

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user. 

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27 COMMENTS

  1. I really dont know why we like to judge ppl so fast. So what she sleep with two ppl in a couple of months apart. She is not the first and will not be the last. And my girl if u hv feelings for the man tell him who knows he hasn't developed for u as well and is just afraid to tell u. What makes him a player. He actually left a relationship to be there for and he is still there after she had a miscarriage. Stop being judgemental not all relationships turn out bad. I hv been with my husband for ten years and we were coworkers. So who knows they could work out. My girl just tell the guy how u feel if he stays he stays if he doesn't then its for the best

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  2. I don't think that this scenario has enough information to suggest that the guy is a player. There could be so many other factors that could affect this man's decision of dating someone else. Most times guys who come from a serious relationship don't usually settle one time. It will take a while for them to settle depending on their former situation with their ex.In my opinion, she knew about the guy's situation and she should have been smart enough not to get her emotions invested so deeply into this being that the guy just broke up with his girlfriend.

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  3. this man probably doesn't want a relationship with you cause he doesn't have to be to get sex from you. Men are like that, they treat you based on the way you give them permission to.If a guy realizes that you really like him and he can get away with treating u like crapp he will, that other girl he was in a relationship with was probably less pathetic than you, hence y he was serious with her and not you. Women need to realize that a man wont take them seriously if they don't take themselves seriously.The problem is not being the other woman but the second woman,i know people who are with married men and they treat them like royalty even if they have a wife,it all depends on how much ure willing to accept

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  4. I was in a relationship with my now husband and some girl he slept with at work 2 weeks later she told him she ia pregnant with the hope that she would split us up. My husband told me what he did and said to her he has no plans of leaving his family..lol... then all of a sudden she lost the child! Relationships formed at work when other have at home dont work and will never work! AND men dont leave their women in yhe name of baby thats a thing of the past, it actually makes them run faster, enroll in a course of do something to improve your life and you will get the right response from him, and you may not even want him again once you gain some value in your self

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  5. I am surprised that no one acknowledged that the guy had broken the relationship so as not to hurt her further and not to live a lie. I do not condemn the guy fully because he was willing to accept his responsibilities and to be there for her when she needed him the most. Responsibility brings about change, sometimes a change of heart.

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  6. women need to stop accepting the role of "fall back chick" If indeed he found what he was looking for in an ideal woman in you there would be no need for that other woman! Count your blessing and allow the rat to nibble on another piece of cheese!

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  7. And come to think of it...you are not in an official relationship, I doubt you know this person very well...WHY ARE YOU HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX?

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  8. People tend to date co-workers because we spend more time at work than anywhere else, we are human and form strong bonds regardless. I do not condone workplace romanaces as they are horrible if they go bad, but, I did marry my office hunny and we been together for 10yrs now. In this case, he was upfront that he didn't want a relationship, upon finding out he was dating elsewhere, it should have been a dead issue. The pain is for a little while but trust that you will be saving yourself alot of problems by just walking away and licking your wounds in a corner.

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  9. There is nothing as strong as a woman's LOVE for her man.

    And she definitely is in love and wants the guy.

    I can be that guy too, madam 🙂
    Try me please.

    I shall create another Universe just to have you and ensure that the Moon is the Precious Stone on your Finger.
    🙂

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  10. I totally agree Willie. He is playing you hunny. Never get aquainted with any co worker. Who knows whats been said with your other co workers

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  11. LADIES .... WHERE ARE YOURLL MORALS, VALUES,,, STANDARDS.... MY GOODNESS... DO YOURLL ALWAYS OPEN YOURLL LEGS TO ALL TOM.. DICK AND HARRY THAT GOES BY... YOURLL ONLY USING YOURLL VAGINA....GEEZE AND LATER WANT TO PUT ALL BLAME ON MAN.... ITS A SEX HERE A SEX THERE AND LATER YOURLL CRYING HE NOT GOOD.. CONTROL YOUR HORMONES... KNOW WHAT YOU WANT... SMHHHHHHHHHH.... WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US ... ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT...... MOVE MY DEAR... DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN... LET IT BE A LESSON

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  12. Hey Guys
    Have been trying to comment somehow its been giving some problems. Firstly let me thank Willie and all the persons who commented on my situation. But just for a quick update, I have moved on, decided to just after sending in the letter. We are still friends however. And if you knew me,(Ms/MR Ooops) then you would know that I'm not the type of woman to stoop so low to get a guy, babies don't keep men around, and he got proof of the pregnancy so we both are very sad about the miscarriage. Anyway, I guess we all go through some "blind in love" phase but the good thing is I snapped out of it. Once again thanks willie

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    • Blind in love or lust!! woman get ur act togeda u still in denial! u were used. It may be hard to digest but yes....The nookie is wat he wanted!!

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  13. I'm sorry that you're going through this situation, but in this case, I'd advise you to try to get a transfer and move on with your life. Putting your life on hold for a man like that is not worth it. Trust me, I know exactly how it is. Co-worker relationships are very thrilling... but the lack of commitment can make it very heartbreaking too. Do something with yourself - such as go to school, do something different, get your focus where it needs to be... Move on. Don't stay in this situation, no matter how sweet the love is... for now.

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  14. Hiding the loss of a pregnancy... Seems like someone was expecting to use a child to catch a man. Why are these manipulative women giving us a bad name!!!

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  15. Dear Willie,

    I think you were to quick to classify the guy as a player and for all you know his emotions may have a great deal to play with his decision to not accept being in a relationship with his co worker.

    He may just be a player but you are not in his shoes so you wont know for sure.

    On another note Willie, You need to change your name to DR. Willie.

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  16. Sweetie the guy clearly doesnt want a relationship...and i think you were never pregnant, u just pulled a fast one...and realise you had to say you lost the baby eventually since there was never any baby....move on

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  17. I'm currently in the same situation. Except he's in a committed relationship.. No baby yet neither will there be one and I've come to realize that the guy is only there for the cookie so girl don't catch feelings let that crap go these guys ain't loyal

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  18. Great advice Willie. I too wondered if she read what she wrote. The warning signs are there. She ignored them. My girl leave him be. He is a player and he is playing you big time. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Think with your head not your heart. And as Willie said, quit those work place romances. Majority of the time they do not turn out well anyways.

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  19. look at this way, if this guy really wants you, which I'm sure he doesn't then wanting a relationship cannot scare him away, you made a mistake, slipped, and not to mention sleeping wit 2 different guys within months of each other wit no protection, yuh lucky this could've turned out way worse....

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