My lover cannot read: ” I told him latex was big and bold on the condom box”

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My lover cannot read: ” I told him latex was big and bold on the condom box”


Dear Willie:
They say love is unconditional but is education conditional?

Willie, some months I met this guy from Castries. He is in late 20s. He is a very sweet guy. He listens to me, gives me advice, brings me lunch and do anything I ask of him. In the face department, he could pass as well.

I think I am falling for this guy. My problem is he does not seem to be able to read and write, and he gets upset with me when I ask him to be honest, even threatening to throw blows on me.

One evening we were at Super J. We planned to have sex that night so I told him to buy some condoms. While in the supermarket, he picked up a pack of condoms. I was right there with him. I told him I am allergic to latex condoms as they give me itching and redness.

I told him buy non-Latex condoms. I saw the chap reading the box thoroughly for like two minutes, so I check all was well – until we had sex. My vagina was on fire, it go so fat Willie, and it was hurting.

I asked him what type of condoms. He did not answer me so I went and check the box. To my predicament, the man bought a latex condom. I asked him if he did not read the label, and he said he did, but did not see the part about latex. I told him latex was big and bold on the condom box. We had a big argument about it and he wanted to hit me when I asked him if he can’t read.

Anyway, another time he called and asked if I wanted lunch. I told him yes. I asked him what they have on the menu. He told me to hold on. I was there waiting when I overheard him asking somebody what they have on the menu. I found it strange, then he told me he is going to call me back. I asked him what is the problem. He said the lady being unprofessional. I asked him what restaurant he is at and he told me. I was shocked because the restaurant always have a menu big and bold in the shop.

I asked him if they don’t have a menu showing and he got vex and hung up on me. On other occasions, he bring documents for me to read for him. He told me he likes to get second opinion on stuff. But Willie, this man cannot read and he is hiding it.

I like this man a lot but why is he hiding this from me? What else will he hide?

I am concerned. Please advise me.

Dear Miss: This sounds like an ignorant and potentially abusive man. Threatening to hit you twice (probably more) and you’re concerned about literacy? You sound like you knocked your head somewhere.

Sooner or later he is going to hit you.

I am not even concerned about whether he is literate or not, seeing (as you stated) he is a good listener and treats you kindly, but his abusive nature is what concerns me, and should concern you as well.

Probably, you made him feel uncomfortable in being honest with you. Not being able to read at his age, is very embarrassing, so if he feels that he is being mocked in anyway, he will not open up with you. However, his violent threats are of great concern.

Unconditional love means you accept and love the person for who they are. Yes, I have seen people dating others who can’t spell cat, living a healthy relationship. Once they understand each other and are there to help each other up, all is well. Plus, if he is willing to learn, even better.

But this goat does not sound like he is up to any challenge. If he is not willing to admit he can’t read, then he may very well kill you, if you offer to teach him.

Take my advice: try and run faster than Bolt out of this little ‘fat-vagina’ thing, you have going on with this man, because next time it may not be your vagina that will get fat, but your face from a beating.

Willie

Email letters to [email protected] Letters are strictly confidential and total privacy maintained. Also see disclaimer below. Dear Willie is published Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as official counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.  

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41 COMMENTS

  1. This is a sad situation, I teach adults with low literacy skills. He may feel you are belittling him which may get him fustrated and abusive. Do not take the abuse, but try to understand how he is feeling not being able to read. Society assumes everyone is educated and can read based on appearances, that is not true, I had a student who always wore a suit she did this so society would assume she was well educated. Send him to me, I would be more than willing to help him not only with his litearcy but his self esteem. Education is a blessing not given by all, help him up don't put him down.

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  2. This is a SERIOUS inquiry, not even shade.
    What are your qualifications Willie? Why do people come to your for advice? Isn't this country already plagued with overwhelming levels of ignorance ? If you care enough to offer a service/"advice", I suggest you do it professionally or at least PRETEND to. You should not be insulting someone in the hopes of being funny to the few idiots who come on here with no better intention than to laugh at the foolish, embarrassing, disgusting, senseless comments made here. This is distasteful and it wreaks of ignorance. Moreover, it gives Lucians a bad name. This is the world wide web and every single soul in the world can read these stories. The change begins with us. Let us stop dragging this country and its already lost people deeper into the doldrums of ignorance. Jeez.

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  3. This guy needs to work on himself,before getting involve in a relationship.....and you should get away from it,before it gets worse,because its clear there's nothing you can do to help him if he threatens to hit u everytime u bring up that question

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  4. My girl go up the Morne by Camdu, buy mate a one two Andy and Rose books and leave mate. Don't stay with any man who threatened to or tried to hit you. Mate too ignorant....literally lol

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  5. I must say that he is ashame however u if u don't feel save leave. And like Willie say he is ignorant he needs to be open minded and try his best to absorb as much as he can before it is too late.....I know of a lady which her three girls taught her to read spell etc. She was married way before them ....and she is now incharge..

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  6. Talk to him, offer to help him learn to read and write, or suggest an adult course for him to learn. If he gets abusive then accept it wont work our for you. His anger may be from embarrassment and he may (hopefully) work through that when he starts talking about it. But stop testing him, it's humiliating him.

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  7. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TEACH THE MAN TO READ AND STOP F*CKING COMPLAIN YOU WERE NOT CHECKING THAT, ALL YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT IS HOW HE WAS LOOKING AND WHAT HE CAN GIVE YOU...
    IF IS WAS A DRUG MAN YOU WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT HIM NOT BE ABLE TO READ..
    WOMAN TEACH THE MAN TO READ AND SHUT THE F*UCK UP
    HELLO AND BYE BYE!!!

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  8. GIRL I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS. I WAS IN IN THE SAME SITUATION WITH A GUY WHO COULDNT READ AND WRITE AND IT WAS EMBARRASSING. I SPOKE TO HIM ABOUT IT AND I EVEN TRIED TO HELP HIM BUT HE DIDNT WANT TO LEARN.AND YOU KNOW THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING ABOUT IT HE ALWAYS USE TO POST THINGS ON FACEBOOK AND TAG ME IN IT.HE COULD NOT SPELL SIMPLE WORDS LIKE "THOUGH".MY GIRL EDUCATION IS CONDITIONAL. GET OUT OF THAT.

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  9. My girl write your man a nice long love letter and ask him what he thinks of what you said! hahaha! Maybe then he will admit he can't read or ask someone to read it for him LMAO! Sorry but I am not going to the trouble of educating myself to pick up any dumbo! And to make matters worst he even want to be abusive on top of it all? Awah, run my girl.

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  10. Sweety.. come one are you that blind?? this guy is a;ready deceiving you and you are making excuses for him. Thats the first sign of a abusive relationship. You are building this on sand. If you want a man to respect you.. you need to atleast beable to fill a need for him. He can get sex cuz he is a provider and is good looking but he can't read and is threatening you. What would you prefer.. an abusive illiterate you are going to be frustated with pretty soon, or a seeker of knowledge who protects you and tries to add to himself and be inspired by you. you have obviously accepted this man into your life already so babe is you to figure out what u want but i wuda stay HONGRY!!

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  11. The girl too have literacy problems.. Cus her letter too has gramatical errors! Fix that before u try fixin the man!

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    • So what if she had a few grammatical errors. At least you understood what she wrote, didn't you?

      Here is your grammatical error: The girl too [have] literacy problems.

      Are you going to fix that before commenting on other people's mistakes?

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      • Typical Lucian arrogance.I find the girl's letter to Willie was quite ably written. If it was not then Willie should have put the corrections in place. We are not talking about grammatical errors here Lisa but rather about someone who is not able to read and write.

        No one writes perfect English except the founding fathers of the English language. They invented the etymology and every word that is associated with the English language many moons ago. There is no need for you to be critical of the young lady's style of writing. She merely wrote about something on a blog. Her vocabulary was intact.

        If you want to have a go because you have nothing else to do perhaps you should try reading some of the many blogs on the internet where the standard of writing is obscure and incomprehensible and then you can shoot off.

        Neither you and not even the modern British are masters of the English language.Before you criticize you must realise.You epitomise the average Lucian whose only contribution to any discourse is to find faults with one's writing and verbal discussions.. Shame on you Lisa!

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  12. To be honest I think the guy is just embarrassed an the woman jeep pestering his life...so what he can't read but he treats u good...smh..either u accept the guy like that or go for one who is a womanizer or doesn't give a shit about u

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  13. First step in solving a problem is acknowledging dat it exists... He is most likely ashamed of da obvious fact ..give him time... As for da threats, let da man kno u not his child

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  14. So what if he can't read ?You realize he can't read why you keep pushing him? It is clear it is hard for him to admit he can't read.I think if this woman really loves the man she would be more understanding and work with him. This is a simple problem. Get "hook on phonics". Please little games that would help him read without accusing him.

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  15. boy willie u is it bro.. i love the advise.. jus hope she teks it before as u say it becomes to late..

    side note
    thumbs up willie to u and ur adivse.. keep it up bro..

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  16. I agree with Willie I would worry more about he threats than the fact he can't read. Being illiterate is a very embarrassing situation for anyone far less a man in his twenties. Just give him time to open up to you if you decides to stay. It may not be illitrate that he may be dyslexic

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  17. Too bad he won't be able to read this dear Willie post loool. But girl I think u should bolt not because he can't read but because he seems abusive from what I read.

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  18. Mayb the way u approach the situation makes him feel uneasy and ashame. Sincce u are aware of it try not to dwell on it to much and c how far u can go with the relationship since everything else seems to be fine. He is not the first nor the last. Put this aside and stand firm by ur man.

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  19. Now that is what I call Pussy on fire...
    Invader here's a song for you.

    Latex getting the pussy on fire
    Cause the man is a liar.
    The Man maybe Illiterate
    But Don't want to admit it
    If The girl tell him so
    He threaten to hit she down below

    Now the pussy is on fire
    Cause the man is a damn Liar
    He like the sex with the latex
    When woman prefer non-latex he gets Vex

    How about the lyrics above? Any calypsonian fancy a song for carnival?

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  20. Lol what a funny story well I know he cant read this story but honestly you should not be embarrassed about your illiteracy cuz when you go to the bank to do business its gonna be a big problem to trust ppl. Finally I agree with Willie, however, Miss Lady he is probably dyslexic.