I grew up suffering from loneliness and for so many reasons I never fully understood the reason why.
As a result of this loneliness, it led me to become very suicidal, rebellious, angry and depressed. This isolation grew when I went to secondary school, and I really couldn’t control it anymore. I became an evil child and started engaging in things that were making my family very unhappy.
I tattooed and pierced myself, I engaged in gangs and fights — things I was doing daily. I used to attend school with a knife between my legs or on the street with a knife by my waist, just preparing for a fight with anyone, whether male or female.
I never feared anybody; my life was a total mess. I did any and everything to make my situation worse. I didn’t want to hear people or family members. I didn’t want anyone to say anything to me that I didn’t like. If someone looked at me in a strange way it would be a reason for me to start a fight.
The stigma of a fighter was placed on my back, in my community, and at the school I was attending. My mom would be at the school almost every month because of my violent tendencies. My family wasn’t at peace, not even for one day because they were expecting the news that someone killed me.
After leaving school, it became worse. I never had a resting place. I was jumping from house to house. I would dress up, exposing my body and sitting by the road just looking for someplace to go to have fun, and even ended up in very bad relationships because I was looking for love but couldn’t find it; this resulted in a void within me.
Suicidal thoughts constantly crept into my mind; my mom began to search for help for me but never succeeded. No one understood why I was suffering from suicidal thoughts. Theoretically speaking, I grew up with a golden spoon in my mouth. I got everything I needed and wanted in my house. I lacked nothing.
In 2011 I was hospitalised as a result of trying to kill myself and was referred to the Wellness Center for counseling. They thought I was crazy. There I received medications to relax but nothing happened.
My grandmother, fed up with the situation, brought me to the Youth Power Group (YPG Saint Lucia). Today I am blessed. I found a place where people accepted me for who I was and only taught me to build a supernatural faith in order to change my life.
Today I am a youth advocate. I help youth around the country who are facing social issues. With my life experience, I can share with other youths what I went through and how I overcame; in this way I can help them. As I changed, you can change your life as well.
– Kenier Barthelm
::Good to Know::
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Address: High Street in Castries opposite Courts
Phone Numbers: 730-4040 / 730-2343
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