First of all she never trusted men to be faithful and from the time I have been with her, I am always trying to show her I can be faithful and love only one girl.
She has many guy friends and at first it didn’t bother me but when she started spending nights at her guy friends’ homes that is where I was worried. I brought up the topic a number of times but it leads to arguing and I don’t want that so I go quiet instantly.
Recently she has been acting strange and she would do stuff for us to refrain from sex at certain times (she was always eager to have sex with me). And one day I got a hold of her phone and a message, and it was about a recent sexual meeting she had with the man.
I have forgiven her but she acts like I am cheating myself… What should I do?
Your situation does seem as one that can cause doubt and confusion, leaving you wondering what to do next.
From what you have presented, you have been faithful to your girlfriend and you are always trying to show her you can be faithful and love only one girl. At this point, it is her responsibility to have faith in you, and your fidelity.
Know that you cannot make her see it or accept it. A little food for thought——perhaps her doubt may have little to do with you, but, rather her own past experiences where she may now find it difficult to trust another person. I will even go a bit further and state that perhaps your girlfriend is utilizing the defense mechanism of projecting, this is, where a person ascribes their own unacceptable qualities and feelings on to another person.
Your worry of your girlfriend spending nights at her guy friends’ homes may be valid, as this may appear to cross the boundary lines of friendship in usual circumstances. Getting the full story and situation behind this would be helpful before drawing a final conclusion. I suggest bringing up the topic in a way that shows your concern for her, and also that you are not comfortable with it as her boyfriend, and the effect it has on you. Do not accuse her of anything if you do not have all of the facts.
If there is a rational reason as to why she cheated that could be addressed within the relationship, and you both would like it to work out, I would say try to work it out.
If she cheated because of her own personal issues, she will have to work through those in her own time. Know that you do not have any control over that. You can, however, be supportive of her through it and see how it goes.
Having said all that, ask yourself if you can you live with the constant unfounded accusations, when you are innocent and have tried to show this on numerous occasions.
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