Dear Willie: I’m 24 years old and at the age of 13 I’ve been having feelings for girls. Over the years I got over it. I’ve been in a relationship for eight years now with my boyfriend and we are very happy together, but I had to let him know that I was interested in girls.
He was upset about it but slowly got over it. He said that he doesn’t want to share me with anyone.
My feelings won’t go away. What should I do?
Dear Miss: Cheating without getting caught may be the easy way out, but at what price? Are you willing to take this risk?
I don’t believe cheating to satisfy your urges is worth it. You’re happy with your boyfriend and your relationship is stable. Not often do good men come around.
I’ve known of bisexual couples sharing their bed with their non-bisexual partners to solve this concern. However, while he may agree to do threesomes in the long run to satisfy your cravings, this also has significant risks. He will probably lose his trust after the first session after seeing how you ‘jack up’ that other woman. Or he will end up sleeping with your female friend behind your back – two scenarios that aren’t worth the risk of a stable relationship.
You mentioned that over the years you got over it. Being gay (full-blown homosexual or bisexual), you don’t just over your feelings overnight. In fact, you cannot change your feelings. I believe you learned to control your feelings over the years, not get over it. So, try and control your feelings. You can do it again.
At the end of the day, I can only advise you based on what I would do, if I was in your position, and based on the information you presented. I would never encourage you to break your seemingly stable union. Some will say, “girl leave the man” or “sooner or later you will cheat so satisfy your cravings”. However, you should weigh the pros and cons of every possible action, and see if the cons outweigh the pros, and decide from there.
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