My feelings for girls won’t go away

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My feelings for girls won’t go away


Dear Willie:
I’m 24 years old and at the age of 13 I’ve been having feelings for girls. Over the years I got over it. I’ve been in a relationship for eight years now with my boyfriend and we are very happy together, but I had to let him know that I was interested in girls.

He was upset about it but slowly got over it. He said that he doesn’t want to share me with anyone.

My feelings won’t go away. What should I do?

Dear Miss: Cheating without getting caught may be the easy way out, but at what price? Are you willing to take this risk?

I don’t believe cheating to satisfy your urges is worth it. You’re happy with your boyfriend and your relationship is stable. ┬áNot often do good men come around.

I’ve known of bisexual couples sharing their bed with their non-bisexual partners to solve this concern. However, while he may agree to do threesomes in the long run to satisfy your cravings, this also has significant risks. He will probably lose his trust after the first session after seeing how you ‘jack up’ that other woman. Or he will end up sleeping with your female friend behind your back – two scenarios that aren’t worth the risk of a stable relationship.

You mentioned that over the years you got over it. Being gay (full-blown homosexual or bisexual), you don’t just over your feelings overnight. In fact, you cannot change your feelings. I believe you learned to control your feelings over the years, not get over it. So, try and control your feelings. You can do it again.

At the end of the day, I can only advise you based on what I would do, if I was in your position, and based on the information you presented. I would never encourage you to break your seemingly stable union. Some will say, “girl leave the man” or “sooner or later you will cheat so satisfy your cravings”. However, you should weigh the pros and cons of every possible action, and see if the cons outweigh the pros, and decide from there.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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34 COMMENTS

  1. my girl, these feelings aint right. it's okay to have them but that doesn't meant its right. if a yute came and said "hey, i like to buss guns and have had this desire since i was little, all i wanna do is buss AK and hand guns.." we would be disturbed by such a desire. if a thief said "I get these urges to teef pple tings" we would label them. They're all weak desires, some hard to resist, but still not acceptable. Try hard to resist or ignore the feelings, with training youll automatically learn to ignore them

    But you're 24, if you got a flat belly and cute (and your friend is cute with a flat belly too) ask Willie to get in contact with me. I'll make the 2 of yall enjoy and appreciate that willie, with the nonsense you talking bout "my feelings won't go away"

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    • I blame your bf and your past bf's. if they was hitting it and treating it like a man is supposed to, these desires would disappear quicker than a bacon and egg sandwich on Oprah's plate..

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  2. Why do we act like being guy is the biggest sin there is. Does the bible not say that all sins are equal - none bigger than the other. All
    the self righteous people, are you all living a perfect life? Your thoughts and judgment, are they not sinful? Get your life and let God!

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  3. lol...Uneducated ask people to go get educated! Why not start with you? Homosexuality is NOT a choice....hmmmm...maybe the same can be said of whores....murderers......rapists.....MAYBE THEIR BRAINS ARE JUST PROGRAMMED THAT WAY...BULLSH*T!

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  4. HONEY IF YOUR HEART TELLS YOU TO BE WITH A WOMAN THAN SO BE IT

    THE SAME IF YOUR HEART SAYS MAN.

    I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE BI , ATTRACTED TO BOTH SEX ,THAT'S OK.

    BUT DON'T MESSED UP WHAT YOU KNOW YOU HAVE , AND IF YOU ARE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE ,BETTER YET.

    MANY OF YOU TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HATE GAYS , GROW THE HELL UP !! STOP THE DISCRIMINATION , CHANGE YOUR MENTALITY. TOMORROW IT COULD BE YOUR SONS OR DAUGHTERS , WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN? BEAT THE GAY OUT OF THEM?

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  5. 24yrs old and you aldready in a relationship for 8yrs, and you still not sure whether you prefer men or women!! maybe you should take a break and try finding what you want, find out who you are and what your goals are, find out who YOU are!

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  6. My dear keep praying you cannot have both the Bible said a woman should be with a man not a woman and what will happen when you get this guy sick by going both ways Lucian woman too hot calm down my friend

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  7. who are we to judge ur feelings and lifestyle? Ur a big girl! u old enough to know what is right from wrong, good from evil and better from worse (i hope).. it's ur life, may God judge u accordingly.

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  8. It looks like millie was the one who wrote willie lol willie 8yrs of being good in what way? Being with a man u claim u love and ur heart isnt in the house.....hw will u make it to the end?

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  9. SELF-CONTROL

    Why do people just give or want to give in to every thought that comes to mind?! You're just like the murderer the only difference is that he is harming someone other than himself.

    HOMOSEXUALS - MURDERERS: SELF CONTROL.
    *SIGH*

    I'M A WOMAN AND I ADMIRE WOMEN WITH CURVES BUT I'M NOT A LESBIAN

    Some of you may just indulge a little too much and then wonder.. Am I gay? Then start to believe you are. Some doctors say people are born this way. That is rubbish! You're going to believe the doctor or the CREATOR? I suggest you people fix your thinking before you pass on to the next life. He doesn't give us more than we can bear. If you find yourself in such a situation.. but be obedient, trust in him. He will see you through.

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  10. Woman on the whole eh no what they want. They always feel r the grass greener on the other side. From eve go down all is the same. real talk

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  11. Willie I do hope it's a girl and not a guy who liked girls and then had a boyfriend for eight years ehh...cuzz las bull suttyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  12. Think she should stop watching porn cause that could cause the urge. Then she won't be interested in porn and loose interest in what builds her interest.
    Most time homo or by starts with something that drives or aggitates u. Porn is usually the killer thing. Leave it alone change your friends and all that will come to past....

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    • She might as well stop watching cartoons, sitcom, movies and HGTV too if you gonna blame porn for her addiction to women. The homo lifestyle can be seen everywhere.

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  13. Girl u want woman go get woman, don't waste the guy's time! This has gone down eight years too many! Never try to deny yourself. Your man will come around at some point when You start being yourself. Right now u are trying to be someone you're not!

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    • Go look up the proper information and educate yourselves.
      Homosexuality is not a choice. It is the way a person is created and they are born that way. Their lives don't affect you!
      Stop being jugdemental ...
      Those whom throw stones ... shouldn't live in a glass house.
      Don't condem others for their live styles when I am certain most reading here are not anywhere near Pure!!!!

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  14. this girl is stupid to jeopardise her 8yrs of happy life to b with a woman, trust me if she do brk up with him for her then she gonna regret because remember what goes around comes around and further more that's degrading urself and ur man gonna just b an embarrassment to friends, co workers and society so becareful of your choice

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