My boyfriend has ‘feminizing ways”, is he gay?

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My boyfriend has ‘feminizing ways”, is he gay?


Dear Willie:
 I am in an extremely unpleasant predicament. My boyfriend and I have been in love for four years now and we are in a good place.

He is such a gentleman and I am happy to have him in my life. He is always there for me and treats me like royalty. I am in love with him but somehow I have always noticed some feminizing ways about him. And his friends tell me he is on the ‘down-low’.

Willie, his friends know him more than I do and I can’t help but believe them, but I find it difficult to let go. I love my man and good men are hard to find. I love him knowing that he is this way. I don’t want to leave my man although he doesn’t know that I am aware. What do I do?

Dear Miss: I certainly would not want a girlfriend like you. You’re in love with your man yet you’re believing his friends over him? Is that true love?

And are those really friends? How can they be his friends and they’re stabbing him in the back? I am sure they’re aware that what they tell you might influence his relationship with you negatively, yet still they went ahead. Those are not friends, those are ‘frenemies’.

If you’re truly in love with your man, if you are really a mature and good woman, you would communicate with your boyfriend about what you have heard, not be communicating with his friends. Are you in a relationship with his friends?

Miss you just upset me while I am eating this muffin and answering your letter. I suggest you find a source and identify the true meaning of friends and love because obviously you don’t know the meaning.

And this goes for some of my St. Lucian readers. Many of you allow outside forces to dictate the health of your relationships – your marriage, social and intimate relationships by what someone tells you.

Fake friends believe in rumours. Real friends believe in YOU. Not everything you hear is gospel truth. There are always two sides to a story. A man can be seen going out with a different female every night. It does not mean he is a womaniser. They probably do not have a sexual relationship.

I say this to mean, consult with the topic of this discussion: your boyfriend, not with anyone else.

Willie 

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user. 

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44 COMMENTS

  1. If you have no proof keep your man
    They're hard to find
    If you get proof...not from fake friends
    The. You act on it

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  2. I'd have loved to have a man who treats me well.
    If he is gay (with proof) then I would advice you to leave
    But until you find that proof (not info from those so-called friends of his), enjoy having such a wonderful man. They're so hard to find.
    Sweetie look closely into the situation. Don't just go asking the guy whether he's gay or not cause if he isn't you will hurt him by mentioning that and he won't be as sweet anymore
    so try to find out by studying him closely.
    And remember: never listen to fake friends
    They have the worst to say
    Make sure you have the most important thing...PROOF
    Then act on it.
    Good luck darling!! All the best in your relationship!

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  3. I agree with Willie. A 4 year relationship, hopefully the relationship is mature and has grown in a way that you two can communicate with out he being offended. I say speak to him, even if he may not tell you the truth right away, he now knows that you are open to listen to his side or his feelings.Also, not all feminine men are gay. there is a new word for them Metrosexuals. He may care about his appearance and is in touch with his feminine side. That could be for so many reason, for example growing up in a home with many women. If you really love him you owe him a chance to explain himself and know he has some frenemies. These guys may just want to end your relationship to get with you. think before you end this.

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  4. He will never tell her he is a buller , I have a friend in the same situation. Its untill she catchhes him by then he move to canada to claim asylum

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  5. If you've been with the man for four years and he's given you no reason to suspect that he is having sexual relations with men to quote you he'such a gentleman and I'm happy to have him in my life then my question to you is: WHAT IS THE ISSUE HERE?! Four years is a long time to be with someone and know thier habits. I assume your sex life is great hence four years. Who ever you are hold you man in you back pocket or pass him on because I have a few single friends who would love to have a man in thier life like him.

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  6. I hate gay people, how did I even get on this site. omg help I'm in the computer and whatever I say gets typed hhhhhhheeeelllllpppp!! OOOOORRREEEOOOSSS lol

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  7. You don't deserve that guy and he deserves better than you. He need someone who will appreciate all his imperfections.
    If he is on the DL only now you realize that cause his frenemies tell you so. Women just don't know what the hell they want. Treat them good you too good, treat them bad you too bad.

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  8. Watch out for those back stabbers ,traitors and deceitful people who pretend to be your friends.They are very jealous of the relationship.Beware!

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  9. i belive willie but to me that in some case would not justify the truth cause sometime she goes and talk to her man and he lies and under it is gay its true people say lies on people but not all will tell the truth when you confront them. then you are left like a big jackass gorgor and every body watching you and laughing and you dont know a thing

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    • Nasty..so it's ok for ur man to be gay and come home to you at nights after he has done god knows what with another guy..get some self respect..nasty

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      • so if he is bi, he is definitely gonna cheat then ???
        because no bi people have monogamous relationships do they ?
        so all the girls kissing (with tongue) in clubs and shit are likely to cheat on you then

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  10. maybe you need to monitor him alittle more if there's now need for questioning in your relationship,confronting him may also be a good thing. you don't want to be wrong at the end,communication it key and if you have a good relationship with God pray and have faith that he may help you deal with it

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  11. I disagree..That's a woman's intuition.. I went the the same thing. My boyfriend treated me like a princess and showed me he loved me. He was really good to me. He had feminine ways which I overlooked. His friends and other community members used to tell me that but I didn't want to listen to hear say so I went to him and we spoke about it. He assured me that he wasn't and people could say what they want so I chose to believe my boyfriend. Things were going great until one day it accidentally slipped out his mouth that he was gay. I believe that they want a girlfriend to cover up..

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  12. after 4 years now you realize that he has feminine ways. and if you did realize it before why after 4 years it is a problem....and why don't you have an open communication with your love....these are the questions you should ask.

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