Messy situation: I am continuously cheating on my boyfriend with my ex

Messy situation: I am continuously cheating on my boyfriend with my ex

Dear Willie:

The fact that I searched for advice online is a sign that I need desperate help.

I am a 25-year-old who had a boyfriend for two years that I loved with all my heart. He cheated on me and this led to our breakup. Although he cheated I never stopped loving him. My pride just would not allow myself to take him back.

I met someone new and we started dating and he is now my boyfriend of also two years. He is everything I could ask for in a man. Early in our relationship my ex kept trying to come back into my life. I let him. We’ve been having sex at least once or twice a month since we broke up two and a half years ago.

My current boyfriend is aware that I’ve cheated. I’ve broken his heart many times. He faithfully remains by my side. I feel like an animal with no self-control. I need serious help. I love my current boyfriend. He is a great guy. He’s perfect, in fact, maybe too good for me. I can’t stop seeing my ex though I crave him. I can’t go a day without thinking of him.

I recently got pregnant and I am not even sure who the father was, if it was my ex or my boyfriends so I decided to avoid the situation and I didn’t keep the baby, especially because I am still in school and I am financially unstable.

I am heartbroken from that loss. I am a mess. I am a lost soul seeking help. I want to stop any form of communication with my ex so that I can be happy with my boyfriend who I know loves me. How do I stop the urge? I am miserably disappointed in the actions I’ve made and I want to change.


Dear Lost:

You’re indeed an animal that is out of control. You said it yourself.

I am wondering who your current boyfriend is. He needs a dose of reality juice and a new brain. He is foolish to be wasting his time with you. He deserves way better. You keep cheating on the poor guy and calling it love?

Miss Lost, I recommend that you stop hurting your current boyfriend. Leave him alone for God’s sake.  If you do nothing else, do that.

As for your ex, he must be feeling like a star boy. He is getting free milk. He would also be a fool to want you back and a jack—to take you back.

At your age I am very disappointed that you’re not being more mature about the situation. I know people make mistake but this is no longer a mistake. This is a continuous, deliberate sick act.

You’re not ready for a serious relationship with anyone. You need to leave your current boyfriend. If you want to continue having sex with either, it is up to you. But stop fooling the poor men. You’re only obsessed with the good sex you’re getting from your ex.

Stay single until you grow up. Like so many people out there, you obviously do not know what’s good for you. A lot of women would love to get a boyfriend like yours. Unfortunately, many women complain that there are not many good men out there but when they get one, they act the fool and make a whore of themselves.

I am sorry but I have no sympathy for you. Who I have sympathy for is your boyfriend.

Become single, focus on your school, be more productive, cut ties with your ex, leave your current boyfriend alone because you do not love him, and become a real lady.


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Dear Willie is published every Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.


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  1. Please don't ever feel ashamed for who you are; i encourage you to keep cheating; immorality is the true joy of life. Let yourself drown in sexual pleasure. It's only right to cheat on the one you love, it's only the right thing to do and you know it deep down inside.


  2. She needs therapy. Nothing is necessarily wrong with the boyfriend. The ex and her are the ones with issues. Society should steer them towards help. It's not about Good Sex. If fact the sex is probably bad they just don't know it. The best sex is consensual, sin free, and std free with no chance of kids. Don't condone whorish behavior that's why evil exists. She needs help she was probably abused as well. Where's the father? That's not a coincidence.


  3. Wow! I think the best thing for you to have done was tell him the truth, and not let him love you whole heartedly for two years while you let him believe you guys had a future. You should have just been honest, heart aches ruin lives and mindsets. It has a huge impact on a person and that isn't right. Please just be honest. I'm sure it's not too late


  4. Ahahaha psyched!!!!
    I should be an author. I can come up with a story instantly. But rib all truths, if your going to be cheating, just leave the man and be single. If you truly live him you wouldn't cheat!!


  5. I'm currently experiencing something similar. I have been abused as a child probably by atleast 5 different men (that I can remember) and I think that is where this comes from, but I know deep down, I am the one to blame for but having self control. I have cheated on my boyfriend of six years with 7 different guys. I became pregnant three times by two of those guys and decided to end those pregnancies. I have a bipolar disorder. My doctor tried to convince me to take anti depressants and to see a therapist. I refused. We now have a child together. My partner doesn't know about any of this, and I hope he never will. I know I'm the biggest piece of shit ever, and what I hate is the fact that I don't have the balls to take my own life. Please help me, give me the strength to end my life and get rid if this useless dirt that has no place in this earth.


    • You do not need to end your life because of the mistakes and bad choices you make . You have to forgive yourself and as hard as it is , know that u will have to come to a point and tell him the truth . Think of this , if it was done to you will u be happy ? If not start changing the bad things about you . We hurt those we love due to our own selfish needs . If u really love this man , like you say . You have to sacrifice or give up the bad behavior before you lose him for good .


  6. Reading through the COMMENTS on this forum has utterly disgusted me. You're all PREACHING to fuck to this poor girl who is seeking ADVICE but come out with the upmost malicious insults 'baby killer' you make me sick. How dare you form such harsh judgements on another persons current affairs.
    The trouble is that with narrow minded morons, they often struggle to comprehend the views of others & cannot relate directly to the predicament in reference but still feel the need to comment, contributing their highly negatively input.
    Well let me get one thing straight. Yes this 25 year old woman may be getting a tad too much nooky, but by the sounds of it .. You lot ARE NOT GETTING ANY WHERE NEAR ENOUGH OF IT (CLEARLY).


  7. Well i can honestly say that i am scared for you woman ! Self-esteem integrity hapinnes are steps and you are destroying yours youre addicted to sin and not to point out perverted sex and the more you disrespect youre current boyfriend the greater the sex is but the less you can be honest truly uncut confession cause youll see what you did in fact what youre living is a fake life because you are waiting for the snap that breaks him as he slowly finds out every little lie you made up to keep doing it and as he realizes hes heart will die lil by lil and youll problably be a coward and run away because you dont love him and hell then feel abandoned so cruel so unnecessary and so damaging to both of you and youre ex is the weakest and the fakest and the onehas no hope as he accepted his ways i know i just went thru it


  8. After being in relationship with my husband for nine years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back, but all in vain, wanted him back so the love I feel for him, I begged yet I have made ??promises, but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested I should instead contact a caster that could help me a spell to bring him back, but I'm the guy who never believed in magic, I had no choice but to try I sent the caster, and he said no problem that everything will be fine within three days, my ex back to me within three days, he cast the spell and, surprisingly, in the second day, it was around 16:00. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for what happened, he wanted me to return with him, he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that's how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made a promise that no one I know who has a relationship problem, it would help that person by him or her in reference to the only pitcher actual spells and powerful that it helped me with my problem and it is different from all false there. Anyone may need the help of the wizard, your email is ([email protected]} tel. +) You can email him if you need help in your relationship or anything


  9. First of all,Am just short of words i don't know what to say,am so grateful to Dr Osaze for what he has done for me at first i thought he was a scam,But i just decided to contact him then he told me that my lover will be back to my arms within 48hours.Really when the 48hours completed my lover called me and said he was sorry,i was so happy that my lover who left me for over 4years called me,Now we are together he can't do without me he always wants me to be by his he love's me and he does not want anything to hurt me anymore.My lover even bought me a new car and a gold wristwatch.And now i also have access to his account to prove that he will never leave me alone am so happy all thanks goes to Dr Osaze .if you want to contact him for help here his is private mail "[email protected] com"


  10. This response was horrible!
    A person reaches out for advice and gets stoned!
    What about the bf being a loser, and accepting it all?
    She's the whore and that's it? aye I'm not religious, but, this one did remind me of the "throw the first rock if you've never committed a sin"!!
    A good advice would've been telling her that she needs to take some time for herself, reevaluate her values, and distance herself from the ex.
    Focus on her career, study hard, and become the stable person she obviously would like to be!
    People are so quick to point out flaws, and forget that it is a lot easier to live someone else's life!
    Who knows what she's going through?
    Who are you WILLIE, and all the others who jumped on the trashing "lost's" boat!?
    No wonder this is turning into a very sad world...


  11. you know, I went through this. My father died, house burned down and my ex boyfriend left me all at the same month. I ended up moving to focus on college and fell for a guy, than my ex came back to my life. At first I ignored him, but there was a time when my new guy and I were going through a very very rocky situation, then it happened. I never thought I would ever cheat. It got as pretty bad, but we never had actual sex either. But had this deep infatuation and excitement for doing it. I felt so guilty I told the new guy and told him everything showing him everything. Ever since I have been put on restrictions for things, like he must know all my passwords and such. Honestly, I deserve the treatment, and we have a lot of good times. We maintain a huge honest connection now. He knows my deepest secrets as I know his. She should be honest and accept any punishment is what I think.


  12. Thank you priest Osaze for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for anyone who might need the help of this great priest here is the email address:[email protected] com


  13. You all dog a women for confessions but forgive your husband that would fuca your Friend and then lie about it!!!! Ummm but when a woman tells the truth about her sickness you'll. Lash out at her like she's wrong for speaking the truth about herself...... ignorance is what i see!!!!!


  14. How dear u pathetic bitches put this lost woman under your foot like u having done any wrong in your life....and its really sad if u older with daughter!!!! Cuz just knw we all reap what we sow so be careful ...we all are still on a journey and as long as u live u all will. Surely make mistakes.....and that's a fact!!!! This young lady has been through alot maybe even came from her childhood so why the fuca is she under attack from u judgemental bitches that in fact have dark secrets yourself so do the website a favor and shut up!!!! And take a look at yourself and seek why u dig a ditch for her then help her with the at advice that helped u clean up your pass shit...


  15. My question is, Is he living a Christian live trying his best to see if he can change things around?I say to you young Lady, you need some serious prays, to remove these sex demons that makes you feel you can't stay without your ex man;all he will think of you is his BITCH come on,find a pastor talk to him explain your sutation to him and he will look for some pray worries to pray with you.May God bless your soul and also to make you a better person! And I believe instead we keep criticising let's pray for each other, the sweet St Lucia were new the enemy which is Satan and his demon is taking over,and if we don't start praying that same situation may hit at us or our families,always remember one person pain affect us all cause we are not living a life alone we wouldn't not do it,,,and laugh joke around, spreading rumours, but our family might be doing worst!


  16. I feel identified with this girls story 🙁 the only difference is that tonight will be the first time I cheat on my bf with my ex, whom left me for another girl. Its all bad but I'll be glad he cheats on her with me just like he did to me!


  17. its funny how you say your a 25 year old and as soon as u mention getting rid of the baby you say your still in school, which is it? 25 years old? or still in school? lol


  18. You are obviously a lovely woman. Have safe fun...why get bothered with relationships when what you want is different. I have no sympathy for your current boyfriend. If he knows and allows you to continue,he is a wimp. Probably knows he can't do better than you. I think people are being overly critical of you and you are definitely not sick. Only that you have needs and are unable to think clearly. Agree that you need some more time. You do need to be deadly careful with STDs though until you are taking this time.


  19. LOLOLOL Willie i totally agree with you. this girl is just abusing that guy, then again that is life some have it all some dont.