Married man demanding more “quickies and good times” from former freaky jabal

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Married man demanding more “quickies and good times” from former freaky jabal


Dear Willie:
 I am over him but he is not over me.

Willie, I had been seeing this guy for exactly one year. The sex was out of this world. The good times were just overwhelming but sadly during that time he was in a relationship. Not only was he supposed to be committed, he also had a baby on the way and could use the extra freak that he was not getting at home.

Willie, it would happen any time of day, indoors, outdoors; we just did not care… the vibe was good! It was supposed to be convenience for me. I specifically told him “it’s when I want” but it then became a demand from him. I still gave in being the spontaneous freak that I am and I truly developed feelings for him that I saw would be jeopardized.

Willie, I ended the relationship in January of this year and remained celibate to this day. I see him off and on casually walking/driving pass, or when I go to town I often see him around and we chat, simple, basic talk.

I recently learned that he got married and he denied it, so I did my homework and found it to be true. The evidence was even on his person, concealed, but imprinted in his back pocket. Though being married, his advances are sometimes outrageous and I do my best to avoid him.

Willie, I need your advice on how I should approach this because I do not want to embarrass him. He has been good to me but I have said to him before that I am done. I am really over the quickies and good times.

Sincerely,
A confused woman

Dear Confused Woman: While inhaling some greens after my Eye Candy pics failed to surpass 200 likes before 7 p.m., your letter arrived as the bright spark I needed in this dull day.

I was quite entertained. I was tempted to submit an application to replace your friend.

Anyway, onto serious business. I really do not understand why you’re confused. You said you’re over him and the quickies and good times, so what are you confused about?

You do not want to embarrass him? But he embarrassed you, by lying to you. By marrying someone else, he obviously did not want you in the first place. That was evidence that he only wanted you for sex. His wife fulfills his other needs.

I am also happy that you’re not accusing him of using you, because you were up for it, and you got it. But how can you sleep with a man whose expecting a child?

Anyway, before you shoo him away, understand this: you gave the man some real good-good, so the dog he is, won’t just change overnight. He will want more.

Now that you understand that, the next thing to do is raise the level of your warnings. Start out by telling him straight that you’re not interested anymore and he should respect his marriage; if he persists, then threaten to tell his wife (she probably knows about you), or take the matter to the law, and continue to avoid him. He will stop eventually when you stop entertaining his crap.

By the way, keep up the talented freak shows when necessary but please, for God’s sake, find your own/single man next time or you will be writing more stories like these. I applaud you for that celibacy plan, but please know that freak shows alone don’t win men (food for thought).

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user. 

 

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32 COMMENTS

  1. Gurl, just don't talk to him, avoid him, that's all. cause you have no future being with a marreid man just a dead end.

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  2. you were just his drugs baby girl, once in a while a man goes to the club get high on what ever drug, feel good and then go back home to his real life. thank God that you checked your self before you wreak it cause you have no future being with a marreid man just a dead end. Girl forget all the good things he did for, you desearved all of it and you dont owe him not a danm thing.

    And am sure all the money he gave you is already done, the nice gifts all passed tense so hell with it.

    if you reaaly want that man to leave you alone you must embarrass him or at least he must feel embarreassed enough to leave you alone. why did he not marry you? life is not about freaky sex it is much more than that.

    tell that Mr. Big Stuff who do he think he is, he never gonna get your love.
    and you better mean it girl... no time to be confused life is too short

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  3. My girl,Im sure you are Beautiful and Smart.Whats done is done!You are not the first and won't be the last.Be strong ,have confidence and move on.Look at it this way you dont have any kid for him you have your whole life ahead of you,Find yourself a good man.Marriage is a Beautiful things you can have all the type of sex u want.But it takes two with Trust,Understanding,Comunication,Love and a lot more to make it work.You have learned your lesson hope you are smarter now.All the best Blessings my girl!!!

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  4. The thing is the man is in love with you-but he doesn't want to tell you. He feels that he owes his wife something, maybe they have been through a lot and he doesn't want to hurt her. People marry for the wrong reasons. He married her bcuz he 'loves' her, but he is compatible with you...the spontaneity, quickies, good companionship. Girl I feel your pain. This is the man for you, just that he is tied down somewhere. Tsk tsk tsk.

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  5. Most women do not realize that men 'cum' then come to their senses until the next time he gets the feeling. Then the cycle repeats itself. Married men usually don't usually leave their wives.

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  6. Lady what you need is a paradigm shift in your thinking. You are a self prescribed freak. How is 9 months without any action working out for you? Besides sore fingers,a huge battery bill and countless self breast examinations, what do you have to show for it? Yes he is married but right now you are providing a "service" his wife cant. Many women don't feel sexy during and after pregnancy with all the baby weight.Turn down for what choooooopppppppsssss

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  7. what about married men who are separated (for years) from their wives??

    should they be out of bounds too???????????

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    • Hunny doo-doo Yes they are out of bounds tooo...why not divorce instead of being separated for years?? being separated may still hold some sort of attachment or sorts....as long as they legally married...I don't want them to even watch or glance at me and i myself not gonna put up with that mess...married men/women please stay in ur section eh!

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  8. Willie: "after inhaling some greens!!!!!!!" are u serious.

    next time invite me - i hope u have chronixxxxxxx - or i will bring some myself...

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  9. 30 years old, single for 8 years now wishing I was in a relationship, or married with kids but still waiting on “Mr. Right” or “Prince Charming” but that story and others make me happy that I am single.

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  10. very offended by this letter. These female and male dogs preying around just freak me out. choops.

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  11. it's not about good sex but about who he feel comfortable with in a serious relationship.
    i am not judging you (not at all)
    just move on.

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  12. Am I missing something here or is this woman just plain damn stupid.Why and what are you confused over?The freaky times are over from January and the bloke is married according to what you said.Helloooo,move the hell on with your life before you wreck yours,his ,his wife and childrens life.I am sure there are a miliion and one blokes out there who can give it to you,if not better and maybe make a decent woman out of you one day.Unless is freaky times alone you're after.You're a woman,and never underestimate the power of what your mama gave you between your legs.

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  13. growing up it was the man who courted the woman and ensured he made all the right moves to make her his. These days the women are the ones chasing the men..
    I think that its about time women assign some value to who and what they were meant to be as women. And stop compromising themselves.
    Give the men an opportunity to look at you with a sense of pride and stop making your real value stop between your legs.
    There is much much more to a good relationship than sex no matter how good it is (unless that is all you desire, in a relationship) . That is one of the reasons why we have so many divorcees. There are many more like you out there willing to give good sex. You need to bring more to the table than your sexual prowess... How do you differentiate yourself?.

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  14. Ha ha Willie you to Marco about keep up the freak shows! Anyway this former jabs seems to be on and streetwise I'm sure she will handle this in the best way.

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  15. Sitting at home scrolling through fb... n I was tempted to read this... oh made my night... n the advice is great stay away from him and hold urban ground... sooner or later the right man for ubwill

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  16. I specifically liked your food for thought. Freaky kinky sex alone would keep a man...some women believe it does. You were just a play thing to keep him entertained nor someone he could have by his side. Who he chose my dear was a lady not a joke.
    You are already on the right path of no longer being at his beck and call simply continue that route eventually he will give up...

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  17. Great job Willie. Willie are you a counselor; man and woman advisor or what. You make so much sense in your answers. Keep it up. Hope you will be around when I need you. Have a good night.

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  18. That letter just made my night but i'm so gonna agree with Willie's reply and girl I knw what u going thru I've been there

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