Man waiting on his wife to do something wrong so he can leave

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Man waiting on his wife to do something wrong so he can leave

Dear Willie: I met this guy two years ago and from the very first day that we met he has been saying how he likes seeing me.

When we just met I did not like him in any way whatsoever. Matter of fact, I would say bad things about him to my friends. After a year and a couple months speaking to him on a daily basis, I started growing feelings towards him and everyday my love for him grew stronger and stronger.

I can recall that two weeks after we met he told me that he is married but he and his wife does not live together and they are no longer together. I believed him.

After a year and couple months, I got to know from a friend that he is married for true and he is living with his wife. When I got to know this I felt like I would’ve gotten a heart attack. I confronted him about it and he admitted that he was living with his wife, but he then said that he was trying to tell me that but he didn’t want to break my heart – which he did anyways.

Since I found out about him living with his wife, he keeps telling me that he loves me more than his wife, but he is waiting for her to do something wrong so he can leave. Everyday I ask him: “if you are not happy with her and I treat you better than her why must you wait for her to leave?” and all he says is “darling it’s not easy, God wants us to be together.”

And it’s so funny that I love this man so much that I would get angry when he don’t pick up my calls. I try everything in my power to push him away but I always go back to him. I don’t even care about his wife anymore. This says how much love I have for him. He can’t pick up his phone when his wife is around.

I don’t want a relationship like this. I don’t know what to do this no more. The good part is I never gave him sex but yet it’s hard to move on. Please help!

Dear Miss: You sent this letter exactly a month ago. We are only answering it now because we respond to letters based on the order they are being received.

I am hoping that you still have not had sex with this player of a married man. I also applaud you for not having sex with him for such a long time.

I am also happy that you discovered he lied to you. You should have severed the communication/relationship from that time.

I always tell females never to fall for the excuses of married men. It is usually a ploy to get into the pants of “something new and fresh”. Unless they can show you proof that they are divorced or in the process of a divorce, I would urge all women to stay far. Excuses such as they no longer love their wives, not living with their wives, or they are in the process of divorce, are stop signs.

He probably loves you more than his wife now because he is tired of her. But always remember this: the fact that he can betray his wife means he has the potential to do you the same thing.

What really disturbed me is when he told you that he is waiting for his wife to mess up for him to leave. This is evil and should have been an additional wake up call to leave this man alone. This means his wife is not the problem because as he is WAITING for her to do something wrong. Pick sense out of that.

I can assure you that his wife most likely fell in love with him for the same reasons you have fallen in love with him. And look at where his marriage is at now. Also remember there are two sides to a story. He is telling you all these negative things about his marriage, and you no longer care about his wife, but you would be surprised that he is the one not pulling his weight in the relationship.

Miss just leave the man alone. If you want to continue entertaining him, it is your business. But when you get hurt again and again, don’t write Willie.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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28 COMMENTS

  1. Even I feel why to waste time on the married man. If he is not willing to leave hes wife, that means he don't want to get divorced with her.I think you should leave him so that they are happy in their lives and you should forget about him and explain him that you want to move now, it's better for you and him. If he is still annoying you, you can take legal help from http://www.leemeierlaw.com

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  2. "i am just waiting for my wife to mess up for me to leave her"? seriously?is this real? this statement tells you everything that you want to know. it means that he has been the one doing the messing up all the time and its rare to find a man leaving his wife when she is the one being good to him, as a matter of fact he must be the one begging her not to leave. you women deserve to be played like that since you dont have a mind of your own. as long as the man tells me he is married thats a turn off right there, take ur time and wait until u find the right man for u.

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  3. Smh @ some of those comments. Someone is seeking advice and this is how you bash her with those senseless advice? Common people not everyone think at the same level. While the answer to this letter might be straight forward to you , it maybe be a very difficult one for someone else. I dont see the reason for all those negative comments. I find it very interesting that some of you are shocked that the person who wrote this letter stay so long without sex. This shows how our st.lucian women makes sex the main focus in a relationship hense the reason why for those letters. I believe you lady because i have been there once and its not difficult to keep your legs close up to those like WOMEN LIE and SHINNA that go about giving the pum to all dick and harry. Maybe you should ask the lady what to do to keep urll legs close. With that being said lady i think you should leave this guy alone. There are too many red flags. I know it might be difficult on your side but trying finding something you love doing to take up the time you spent with him. You dont want to be a reason for him and his wife breaking up. Neither do you want to put curse on urself. Take it to the lord in prayer my lady. He will deliver you.

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  4. Some of these woman giving this woman beans i bet my last dollar they are in a relationship with a married man right now or have dated a married man. They need to stop they are hypocrites. If the night should turn to day alot of them would be caught with a married man.Lady if this man makes u happy go for it. married women should learn to keep their men. if not someone else will keep him for you the choice is yours. Reality.check

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  5. Boy... some men sure how to work the ladies' hearts. But to all you women out there who are looking for love, please, please, please, understand the meaning of standards - and stick to them. No married men, no abusive men, and whatever else you want to add to that list. Don't make it unreasonable, but always remember that you have to be willing and able to deal with all the strings attached to these kinds of relationships. Don't ever ever settle for less. You're sabotaging your own chance at happiness.

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  6. @shinna,livingABroad,xclass not all slu woman have become ratchet like you guys. We still have good woman out there that can keep their legs close unlike you guys. none of yourll are not in any position to juge her. If you dont know what it is like to walk in her shoes shut up. Its not easy to walk away from someone you've known for so long only to find out that they're lying. I am certain most of us women have been in similar situations!

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  7. OMG Shinna u shut up. Amaizin how pple can asking for opinion an all u do is criticise. My gosh be honest to yrself. Hav u not hav sex with a married man or someone else man. Are u perfect? Are u a vergin? Just cast the first stone. If u cant say anything helpful dont say anything.

    Now u woman whoever u are get the hell out of the mans life. At the end of the day. He has to go home to his wife . And i believe u hav not slept wth him now get out of ths

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  8. Well i agree with that has been said. This woman needs move on. She must value her self better leave this man. Move on.

    But i hav to say the name calling does not call for. Giv her advice not critism . 80 percent or more women. Has been with married men in some way, dont talk it never hhappened. She is. Not the first or last.

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  9. vicezz u never gave him sex and u act like tht shut the fuck up and go look for your own man and in the first place u should not send tht stupidletter to willie salopta tou sell vieux jamet

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  10. U shudda had sex with me. Now u stick wondering what it is to have sex with the man. U fell in love, wow. Just hv sex with the man and move on. U dere beating up yourself over a married man. So u tellin me over a year u nah hv sex? or u hv another man. Gal sex the man if u want and move on. Dis time find a single man. SIMPLE

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  11. Well LADY ! The choice is yours now. Make it and make it fast before its too late.. no matter the comments made above, they all are right. MOVE ON. FORGET HIM. AND WAT U FELT WAS NOT LOVE. just look within your heart deeply an describe wat that feeling is. GET .GET OUT . CUT HIM OFF. MOVE ON. Build back your self esteem.

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  12. Lady, you need to move on with your life, and leave this man, and married men alone. Most of the times, they don't leave their wives for another woman. And the part where he says "it's not easy, God wants us to be together"? come on. I find we women are too weak sometimes, geez! Like Willie said, hope you haven't given the sex as yet, and if not, I'm very proud of you.

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  13. Some do leave their wife for another woman..although sometimes it may seem the man who left his wife when its his wife who left him. But a man who leaves his wife for another woman like Willie said, has the potentail to leave that other woman for another woman. Play case...the man is a BIG player and a real man should and will not tell another woman ill about his wife. A man can pretend to love a woman for years. Dont let him fool you. Who knows he may well be fooling his wife. If you have not given him....dont. Lots of guys out there aren't player.

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  14. Break this off lady. Willie is right. And furthermore you have no business with a married man. Even if he is divorced he belongs to his wife because God hates divorce. He allowed it in the Old Testament because of the hardness of the peoples hearts but in the beginning He said it was not so. Get out of this curse of being with a married / divorced man and turn to Yahuwah in belief, repentance and obedience and He will grant you the desires of your heart.

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  15. Married men come with these signs- STOP( he's taken), ONE WAY(to heartbreak),NO ENTRY(there is someone else)
    Lady my advice to you is to stop all communications with this ass. he's no good for you. If he's waiting for his wife to mess up to leave, this should be a deep red flag to you. Continuing with this will only add to your pain

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  16. Funny how he says "God want's us to be together" but is letting the devil interfere in his relationship with his wife, I guess god put y'all together and the devil put him and his wife together so thats okay you can break up his marriage with his wife cuz y'all have god's blessing, and instead of trying to work hard on this marriage with his wife cuz if you want something really bad you ought to put in the work he instead will wait for her to do something wrong so he can leave.....hmmmmm I swear this came from a fairy tale,and its funny how you can develop feelings for someone who you should consider "unavailable" well I guess if you can't get someone the smart thing would be to develop feelings towards it and then go through useless hurt when things go sour, thanks i'll remember to try that sometime.....

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  17. 1st of alll I dnt believe she havnt slept with him,,she's lying cuz she knows Willy wud tell her off if she said she's slept with him! Only a fool will believe that! Live the married man alone n stop entertaining him. Both of u are cheating scum bags! When oh when are we gna start sending married men/woman bck 2 their partners!!

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  18. I don't think this woman is saying every thing how can yu love a man so much dat u don't even care about his wife and he loves you more than his wife and you ve never had sex with him after so long this is rare. so wat are you doin dat his wife is not doing.

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  19. That goes to show how men are dogs!! N this woman should know better.. U knew he was married in the first place n u still continued. It seems that we human beings don't know that we should stay away from married men or women!! Smdh.. Move on with your life woman! He did it to his wife for ur sake so he could do it to you easily.. And point blank he will never leave his wife for u. Use ur head

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    • Lene dogs dont go after women u know, dogs go after dogs so plz get that right u idiot. And for that girl she too stupid to have even allowed her self to like a married man. Now Lene, this is to show how some women downgrade themselves. Woman what is it you love about him? Yal doing all sort of non-sense with yal lives and tomorrow when bad happens to yal, yal be like " I dont have luck" but yal fail to realize that yal just blighting your selves by the crazy things yal doing. Girl go and look for your own man you gor-gor. He lied to you and u deep in love wii. Go and see is the charm that have you like that. Yet again its your falt u stupid deck-deck.

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