I suspect my boyfriend is still with his baby mother

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I suspect my boyfriend is still with his baby mother


Dear Willie:
I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for three years now. When I met him he told me he has a three-month-old daughter.

I asked him about the mother and his answer was “I don’t know”. I thought that was strange so every now and then I would ask and his answer would be the same.

A few months after, he started telling me he had to go over to watch his daughter because she was sick and the mother was busy working. I took that for nothing but eventually he was doing it often and then he started not telling me everything he did. So I asked him again about the mother and he was like, “I’m there only because of my daughter.” Something just wasn’t right.

From there things were not the way it used to be. Whenever I’m out with him and she calls telling him “you don’t bring me out but you’re everywhere with your b****”, he would just get up and tell me lets go.

He told me they have been together for six years but he’s not happy anymore and he doesn’t want to look like the bad person. I keep asking him what does he mean by that, but he never answers.  On several occasions I’ve told him to end what we have and go make his family work because I know what it is like to love someone and they don’t love you back, and he keeps telling me no.

Willie I speak to him mostly everyday and I see him often. He keeps asking me to have his kid and that he doesn’t want me to leave.  I am confused. I have a strong feeling he is still with the child’s mother and maybe he doesn’t wanna leave six years for three years, but its exhausting.

At times certain things he says makes me believe he wants to be with both of us.  I don’t think I can live my life staying by his side having a feeling he’ s still with his child’s mother, even though he denies it.

I love but I’m not as happy as I used to be. I really need your advice on my situation.

Dear Confused: Based on the information you provided, your boyfriend is still in a relationship with his baby mother, and you’re the jabal.

What more proof do you need to open your eyes? You would be foolish to get pregnant for him.

He refuses to be straight with you. And you appear to be fighting for his attention. What is unbelievable is that you took three years of this nonsense.

Do you really need him in his life? Do you deserve this treatment?

Willie

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42 COMMENTS

  1. You can still be the main chick ...n they screwing the Jabal/s hard no condom soo..that comment..nahh..u still getting aids ...the life..

    (0)(0)

  2. I know how you feel. My man tells me he has to click over on the phone because he's getting his daughter. WHen he gets to the place to pick up his daughter he clicks the phone...and hourse go by I don't hear from him. Cmon like I don't know you're with your childs mother. And he also lies about the phone going dead. But it's crazy because he slipped up and said he was mad so he shut off the phone for the time being. So which one is it? I smell a lie. It won't be long before he's begging so let a dog rome....maybe he'll find his way home. In the meantime don't bother waiting.

    (1)(1)

  3. I'm in a similar situation, I'm dating this sheriff deputy from LA & I can't read/figure him out. I know his job is unpredictable & also has a daughter but where do I stand? I don't hear from him on his days off & says he's with his daughter so I back off..doesn't have time to hang out during the day..only certain days after work which is late at night. He tells me things I wanna hear & has said I love you but my gut tells me something is not right. We usually get a room when we meet up but doesn't ever mention to come to his house or meet his family. I have to stop making excuses for him & follow my gut. He broke me completely 🙁

    (2)(0)

  4. Girl "stop" having SEX with the man for you to think properly! You cannot make a decision only because you guys are having Sex. My grandmother always tell us when making a decision concerning relationships make sure you not sexually attach. Take my advice you will be more focus and see you are being taken for a ride my dear. Please don't get pregnant for that man he doesn't Love you! ask him to get married put some pressure on him for marriage he will disappear for sure because he don't want you trust me...love.

    (5)(0)

  5. First of all, some of the comments below are pure rubbish. If you're trying to encourage someone to do something right you don't just go ahead and post that kind of negativity. Although all of you are trying to bring out the same point, I get that and you are all correct. Willie, your response is absolutely correct. I can't stay I know what the lady is going through but at this point in our lives we cannot let men take the lead in everything. You deserve better. We are Caribbean people. We do not have the tradition of one man having 3 - 5 wives. This is not acceptable. Do what is right for you, we both know there is someone better waiting for a chance in your life, its that time to give him a chance.

    - Peace.

    (3)(0)

  6. O please 6 years with baby mothers 3 years with you baby is 3 months so you try and take the girl man and now you crying don't ... with ppl sweetheart!!!

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  7. girl if u asked your man a question about his baby mama and he says that he doesn't know ,,,he is lying. girl you are the side B***h ,no offence

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  8. "This old man, he played one; he played knick-knack on my drum; with a knick-knack paddy-whack give a dog a bone; this old man came ro-w-l-i-n-g h-o-m-e (slowing down")

    (1)(0)

  9. All I have to wonder.how the girl cannot see the man is In a relationship with his child mother. He git her pregnant while he was with u...so move on.

    (1)(0)

  10. What the hell do you really want Willie or any of the readers to say? Fight for your man? Stand by your man? Choops! Gassa if you not happy, leave. If you suspect he is with his child's mother leave. Don't be the retard who is there five, seven, ten years stuck in that circle of drama and nastiness. Women honestly have the power to make men stop this foolishness but they accept the lies and betrayal as love? Come on! Choops!

    (4)(0)

  11. Hey lady wake up if d man had a 3 month old child when he met u an u with him three yrs now an he mawon in often he have 2b cookin his green fig with d baby mama SALTFISH an still having ur POKE 4 side dish well sorry u doh know main dish always get eaten better than d side dish an sometimes side dish doh get eaten fully coz belly full an cah eat much more so if u cah b main dish stop shearing ur food

    (2)(0)

  12. From the start the man had already confirmed he's still with his child's mother. You just didn't understand or chose not to understand his language. The guy was evasive when questioned. Don't you know when someone, espcially a man says "I don't know" it means they damn well know and don't want you to know?
    And baby mama calling to say crap? Really? As hard as it is, it's about time you admit to yourself that you know you're the jabal, and stop letting this guy take you for a ride. You're smart enough. Find the will and leave before more heartache follow

    (3)(0)

  13. Girl...you "have a strong feeling he is still with the child’s mother"?? Are you waiting on official documentation to confirm this? Leave this man immediately and start checking for yourself. Your feelings for him will make it hard but it needs to be done unless you're content with being a jabal.

    (1)(0)

  14. Do NOT let him make the decision for you. You already have your answer. Why you want to continue sharing or playing second fiddle He cheating in both if you. Have some respect for yourself and move on. Besides he spreading IT!!!

    (1)(0)

  15. When will u women learn! HIV is spreading and your'll still playing the jabal role! Find your own man! I mean do you want him to spell it out to you for you to understand your just he's jabal?!

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    • You can still be the main chick ...n they screwing the Jabal/s hard no condom soo..that comment..nahh..u still getting aids ...the life..

      (0)(0)

  16. Shout out to St Lucia women.
    Just about every man on this island is messin with another woman and have baby mama's everywhere, and have a woman at home keeping his bed warm, cooking and keeping his house, OF course if the woman has the child, they have the mans time too.
    Women of St Lucia wake up!! Kick these men to the street and restore your dignity. The woman doesn't keep texting and talking if the man isn't repling!
    The men won't stop until the women smarten up!!

    (3)(0)

  17. Run girl, run! He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Some men just don't want to make the effort to let go of their past and make the present work. They want both. But here's the thing: he CANNOT have it both ways, and you should NOT tolerate any of this because your life will be constantly affected. It is NOT fair to you to remain in this. See yourself out no matter how much you love him. He DOES NOT love you.

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