I never got over my ex

I never got over my ex

Dear Dr. Cindy: I really need some advice.

Two and a half years ago I started dating a really good friend of mine and I fell in love fast. I was heart broken when he wanted to end it.

A couple of months later I started to date this new guy to get over him and he didn’t treat me like he should have. A couple of months later I ended up pregnant and he told me we needed to get married or there was no reason for us to be together. I was young and scared, so of course I agreed.

Now we have a beautiful daughter but our marriage is not so good. He doesn’t talk to me or treat me like a husband should a wife, but he tells me he’s sorry and expects me to believe him. And he does it gain.

To top things off my ex told me how much he cried the night I got married and how big of a mistake he made in letting me go. He told me he loves me and he doesn’t care that I have a baby because it doesn’t change who I am, that he just wants to be with me again.

Honestly I never got over my ex and I don’t know what to do. Help please!

Married and Confused

Dear Married and Confused,

Yes, this can be a dilemma if you allow it to be.

You have introduced two concerns: first, your marriage and your unhappiness in the marriage because your husband doesn’t talk to you or treat you like a husband should a wife. If he were to talk to you and treat you the way a husband should a wife, would you then describe the marriage as good? Would you be happy? Would you want to stay? These are the questions you should ask yourself.

If you answered yes to all three questions, I would suggest marriage counseling to work on the marriage. If you answered no for any of the three questions, the million dollar question then is, “What now, is there a marriage?”

The second issue of your ex-boyfriend: does he seem appealing now because of the difficulties with your husband? If the issues/concerns with your husband did not exist, would you be considering your ex-boyfriend’s advances? Before you choose either way, be honest as to why you are choosing that way. Also, if you and your daughter can live with the consequences of your choice.

Best Wishes,
Dr. Cindy

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  1. we have to think hard before we make decisions. Marriage life is a serious thing n we NEED time to get to know this person before making such a decision. I'm not in favor of divorces or separations but if ure not happy n still loves ur ex then thats not a healthy relationship ure in. Given the circumstances, i suggest u n ur husband take some counseling before attempting another regretful mistake (especially since there's a child involved n urll r now bonded)n if after several trials, it's still not working out then i would suggest a divorce. (Bear in mind, we are weak vessels n are capable of failing sometimes though that shouldn't be an excuse for failure)


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