I recently have been having health issues and have not been able to work. My father helped me purchase a house before I got sick but now I’m unable to work to pay the bills. So I rely on my boyfriend for my income. He seemed to be understanding about this until a couple months ago.
He has been distant and started talking bad about me to his family and friends. I have confronted him about this and he says he didn’t mean how it sounded, and apologized. I didn’t accept his apologies.
Do you have any advice on what I should do or say?
I am sorry to hear about your health issues and not being able to work, it sounds difficult. Additionally, the distance between you and your boyfriend, and the bad things he has been saying about you to family and friends, appears to only compound the situation.
I can see how you may be in need of advice as to how you may proceed with the matter. First, you stated that you confronted your boyfriend.
Now, does this mean you pointed out his inconsistencies as far as stating he was okay with the financial challenges, but still he acts differently? If so, I applaud you for taking the initiative to address a subject of contention in the relationship, as beginning a dialog is the first step to resolving any difficulties in the relationship. I do suggest, however, to be open and willing to hear his side as well.
Remember, not to blame or to judge him, but rather, simply state your feelings and how his actions have contributed to them. Let him know that you recognize and appreciate the fact that he is financially supportive of both of you. Also, let him know of your concern of involving others in your private relationship and the effect this has on the relationship.
Second, I suggest pausing for a moment and attempt to understand he too may be frustrated and overwhelmed with the situation, as the household income has dropped from two contributors to one, and this it appears was not planned. This, however, does not excuse his aforementioned behavior, but may explain it.
I suggest continuing the dialogue here; this may lead to both of you being able to express yourselves without hurting the other, and be able to support each other emotionally through this difficult time.
Third and last, with respect to your “health issues”, you have not disclosed much, so I will respond as follows:
If the health issues are permanent and you may have been forced to retire early because of health issues and you are eligible, I suggest looking into social security disability benefits.
If, however, the situation temporary, or it may be a matter of your mobility and you may be able to handle it health wise, I suggest considering some form of at home employment, where you can work from the comfort of your own home. This may include, but not be limited to telemarketing and sales jobs.
How you proceed will depend on the severity of your health issues. I do hope that the above have been helpful, and as you medicate on what I have presented, you see things clearer and have a better sense of how to move forward.
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