It all started when she found out that he was actually her cousin. After that the guy and I drew closer and closer until we became an item. Although my friend says she’s forgiven me, I still feel like she has it out for me.
We remained friends but we are not as close as we once were. If I could turn back the time and change it I would, but I’m not sure if I’d want to considering the fact that I really love him. To this day the guy and I are still together. We’re actually married. My friend got an invitation but never showed.
I love my friend like a sister and I just wish she’d truly forgive me. After all, I’m married to her cousin. We’re practically family.
Please help me.
Dear Confused: Try to understand how your girlfriend feels. Put yourself in her shoe. How would you feel?
Women usually do not date their best friend’s ex-boyfriend, out of respect for their friendship.
What if the guy was not her cousin? It would give the impression that you had eyes – all that time – on your best friend’s boyfriend. The ONLY reason you and her are still friends is because the guy turned out to be her cousin.
Obviously, based on your letter, she still has a grudge against you. I do not think she truly trusts you anymore because to her, she probably feels that you had an eye on the guy before this revelation.
However, if you want to move on, you must get over the past. What’s done is done.
Do not be confused but just be understanding. You should not have been surprised that your bestie didn’t appear at the wedding. She would have taken it worse if you had not invited her, and she probably takes offense to the invitation. Either way, you cannot win in this situation as it relates to her feeling about the matter. She once loved the guy you’re now in love with. And she is your best friend.
Some friends would definitely not date the guy regardless of the outcome.
But stop being confused, focus on your marriage, try to be a better friend but it’s not worth being confused now. Just learn from your mistakes.
I wish you a successful marriage.
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