I can’t stop meeting this “hot” guy

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I can’t stop meeting this “hot” guy

Dear Willie: I’m a 17-year-old. I had a boyfriend for nine months and then we broke up because he thought I was cheating on him with my best guy friend. But I was never cheating on him. And now, after he got to know the truth, he wants me back. I’ve always loved him and I was happy to have him back.

There is this hot guy who loves me. He’s so attractive. We kissed a few times after I broke up with my boyfriend and I still keep meeting him. We cuddle. I love my boyfriend but I can’t stop meeting this guy. And my boyfriend doesn’t know anything about this!

I am totally lost. How do I stop this urge to meet him? I feel guilty about what I’ve done so far. I want to change!! Please help me!

Dear Miss: The change has to begin with you. Only you can change yourself. The fact you have recognized your wrong, then now is the time to deal with it head-on.

I believe you just have a crush on this new guy because he is attractive. Lust and crushes do not last long. You never mentioned if you and him had sex. If you haven’t, then that’s good, keep it that way. The moment you and him start having sex, the more emotionally attached you will be.

This guy might be hot but what if he is just playing you? What if he just wants to get some sex? So be very careful.

If you truly love your boyfriend you will stop meeting this new guy. For you to stop meeting this guy, you must be brutally honest with him. Tell him you love your boyfriend and you want to stop hurting him by meeting someone else behind his back. You must cut all communications with this new guy in order for you to stay away.

A lot of girls go out and fall for new guys, because they want something fresh, something new and exciting. However, they will rarely leave their significant other for the new guy, especially if they have no issues with their current relationship.

But sometimes this new feeling for excitement can turn sour.

So my advice is, if you love your boyfriend, stop meeting this guy by first telling him the truth about your feelings for your boyfriend. It is also good to tell him that if you can cheat on your boyfriend that means you have the potential to do the same to him as well, so it is best to cut the communication.

Remember this guy is also judging you. If he knows he can do all this with you knowing you have a boyfriend, in the back of his head, he has probably written you off as a potential girlfriend. He is probably thinking you will do the same thing to him. So he is probably only focused on one thing now: getting sex and more sex – if he hasn’t gotten some by the time I post this letter.

If you don’t love your boyfriend please give the guy a break and remain single.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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18 COMMENTS

  1. when I was 17 I was not inlove like them girls,,,,,i feel like a virgin seeing this.........cant believe I waited to see that all week

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  2. I wish I was 13 all over again to re do my education all now so Im in university looking forward to get a dam good job to have my audi on the road

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  3. I would like to share the same sentiments with most of the persons who commented here. They are soooo right. You are 17 years old, it is ok to have crushes but this shouldn't be the time to be seriously involve in a relationship. Have friends but do not be sexually active at this time. Concentrate on your education and on being the best person you can be. You will have no regrets.

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  4. Why are you lot Lucian women so promiscuous? Its always about women with many men in Saint Lucia. St Lucian men are so desperate as well. They are behaving like they have never seen women in their lives.
    The other question that needs asking is : Why is a 17 year old child having a relationship? Shouldn't she be in school studying?

    This young kid need to concentrate on her future and career instead of shagging around with good for nothing guys who have nothing to offer her. Get a book, go to school, do some exams and look forward to going to university - you will be better off there. None of these guys are worth it. If they were then they should be encouraging you to sort out your future first before you sleep with them.Stop sleeping around before you get a nasty reputation. Set a good example for the young ones coming up.

    Any man who will sleep with a 17 year old needs to be exposed. They are the ones destroying the lives of the youths of St Lucia. They need to go find themselves a toy to play with.
    Leave the kids of St Lucia and the Caribbean alone.

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  5. Take this advice from a young girl, just like you. Honey, you are too young to be in this kind of bacchanal with any kind of man. Please focus on your school, or any other aspirations you have. Turn your dreams into a reality. Obviously, you are not going to quit seeing these guys, just cause I said so. But, ask either one of them one day if they would like to accompany you to the library or church, and you will truly see their intentions with you, then on... Be smart, do not let your desires fool you !

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  6. honey....1st of all .... u're not in love with your boyfriend... u like him alot lol.. and the other guy.... attractive? try this.... talk to him for a month...with out seeing him.... see if the attraction doesn't fade away.

    CXC... ALEVEL....BSC...MBA.... at least.... there after.... enjoy life

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  7. Get into your school and think of career goals for your future. Give guys a back seat for now. What's the hurry to get a man? Move to the next level in your education. Look to God in your life and live in faith and obedience to His Word and He will send you someone who is worthy both in and out when the time is right.

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  8. you are young, and I had my boyfriend at 16 yrs and we've been thru hell and back and we're still together. i'm 26 now. you must ignore this other guy, tell him exactly how it is, swagg goes no where. focus on ur bf.

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    • You are no example for this young lady-- Best to say nothing - you seem to be saying that it is fine to do what she is doing- Stop fanning the flames. This young lady ought to be concentrating on her career and future not some good for nothing blokes who have nothing to offer her other than what is in their pants and between their legs...
      If you have nothing good or positive to say then say nothing.

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  9. I wish i was 17 again i would worry less about the coming of man but more about my level of education to you i would say nothing wrong with having male friends but focus about developing yourself to have a brighter future guys will always be there get away from the useless headache it will be worth it.

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  10. You're 17 yrs old you should have crushes on guys and want to date all the hot guys. You are too young to be committed to a guy, have fun and enjoy it because later down in life you don't want to have no regrets.

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  11. willie I understand that ppl look to u for advise, but part of giving advise is being honest.first of all, this girl is 17. not the age to be thinking about sex. what about her schooling , her future. hv u ask these questions. she already hv one man in her life n now an other is involved. if u ask me, this child has serious issues. she conceling.

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