I can’t get over my ex who has moved on

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I can’t get over my ex who has moved on

Dear Willie: Here is my situation. My ex and I broke up one and a half years ago because I believed he was cheater and also on the advice of some of my buddies who encouraged me to find someone better and move on.

Time has passed but Willie I have found myself dating at least four men and I can’t settle down as yet. As for my ex, I have noticed that he has moved on, built a solid foundation, doing things he never did with me, got married, and now the talk of the town is that his wife is now expecting.

Willie, I have tried to move on but I can’t. I have found myself thinking about him while I am with these other men. I tried my utmost best to make it seem like I am happy, make him jealous, but the truth is I am not nor does it look like it gets to him.

My friends make it seem like I am doing better without him but that is not the case. Maybe it’s because I pretend to. Willie, I have tried telling my ex I regret what I did but he pays me no mind and would give the most hurtful responses.

It’s like he can’t stand me but I still keep pushing myself. Some of his friends also told me that I should leave him alone because he has moved on, and that his dad and sister do not like me. But I still find myself calling, texting, trying to meet up, but he said I should just leave him alone; his only focus is our children.

Last night this man called my phone Willie, telling me that I need to stop looking so desperate by contacting people close to him who are also friends of his wife. Willie, I found myself cursing this man up and told him I have never contacted his friends but the truth is I really did just so that I can find out what’s going on, being unsure they would run back to him because I trust them, not only about him but personally stuff I have done.

Now I’m stuck there. All my friends seem to be living life, some of whom are friends with my ex’s wife but I feel confuse deep within, knowing that I walked away and now I am hurting.

He does everything for our kids but I have gotten to the point where I want to message his wife and spread some lies again, of things that never happened.

I am lost and confused. Please help.

Dear Miss: It seems like you’re missing the water when the well has run dry.

Well, you must have had good reasons to have left this man in the first place. You did say you believed he was a cheater.

I believe the problem is that you’re jealous of his new life. You probably never expected to him change and/or begin a more stable relationship.

I have seen situations where people break up and none of them messes with each other UNTIL one of them decides to move on to bigger and better things. Then all of a sudden, someone wants to reunite. I do not believe this is love. It is just jealousy.

Now I am afraid your jealousy has grown into obsession – a very scary aspect of it.

What you need to do is leave this man alone – no call, no texts, nothing. And stop dating different men and just relax and refocus.

No matter what you try, you will only push this man away from supporting or seeing his children.

I know it is hard as it is eating you up inside, but nothing you’re doing is making the situation better for you and for him. You’re also pushing your friends away.

The fact that you were brave enough to leave him because the situation did not work out you also have the potential to get back on your feet and prove to your friends and him that you can move on as well.

There are many fishes in the sea. It’s ok for you to date and get to know people, but do not get involved seriously with anyone until you’re over your ex.

Take my advice, leave this man alone before you end up pressing too many wrong buttons. It could cause you some jail time, a lifetime of embarrassment or death.

Be an example to your children. You can do it, trust me. You will rise from this.

Willie

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30 COMMENTS

  1. Yes never let anyone make your decisions. Alot of so called friends like to have you miserable and alone like them. Needless to say I'm going through this now with my husband he is doing it to me. He hasn't even given us a chance to try and work out our problems he found a hotter woman. I believe that you should try everything before you walk away from someone even some space before you give up. Unfortunately this will be a lesson. I always wondered how people could give up on relationships so easily and be fine with it.. of course we women usually think a little more then men. But I'm sure you will be ok if u choose to be. Let it go. It will never be the same. Besides it's not right to be a home wrecker. I know I'm in alot of pain because of a woman doing this stuff.

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  2. Babygirl da damage is done u just hve to let go now. You realize ur mistake but now it's to late. Wats done is done yu will find someone dat will love yu and treat yu da way you suppose to be treated. No need to rush

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  3. Look at it this way. You are free now to take a look at yourself and your life. You are also free to devote and spend more time with your children. You are free to devote more time to God in prayer. Let Him lead and guide you. Let Him decide what He wants for your life. Put your wants and needs and desires aside and let Him take control. He knows what's best for you. Find out what He wants you to do and move forward in Him in obedience.

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  4. oh wow, this just means u knew u had a good man all along, u "suspected" he was cheating? seriously? I have no problems if u say u knew he was cheating but to leave him because of suspicion means that u are psycho and all that behavior and lies just proves it. leave the man alone u are the one who is not good, praise jah u let a real woman who wants to love him , have him

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  5. you were too stupid to listen to your friends. you should have handled ur business all by urself n not put other people in ur relationship with ur man.

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  6. Every body make mistake,all you women stop hitting on her and calling her names. awa awa, She is already hurting. Women are women's worse enemy

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  7. For me i find this guy had this thing all sorted out If he really wanted to a relationship with the young lady he would have pursue her but it was the other way around for me she should leave the guy alone and try to get her life together

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  8. first of all that is jus reality slapping you across your face...a true friend would never tell you to leave your man no matter the situation...she should only give you advice but not to make your decision for you...futher more,now-a-days,your boyfriend cheats on you, keep speaking to him about it,protect yourself and fight for your relationship especially if there are children involved..plus out there aint have nothing better.you should have never left wat u see already for wat u havent seen...also maybe he wasnt the one...Its hard now but in time u will get over it..try to look for a way out of st.lucia and build a life for u and your kids..when looking for someone,find someone who can help you in life and to make you a better person on the whole and be patient..As for your ex,let him live his happy life and there is no reason to interfer with his wife cause she didnt make that choice for you to leave him in the first place,U DID,so deal with your own mistake.If you find a good man in your favor today and his ex starts interfering with u,u wouldnt like it so find yourself a life.

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  9. Willie, I wholeheartedly agree with your response to that lady. She definitely needs to move on and refocus. She needs to occupy herself with new interests preferably taking up some form of exercise to release the pent-up emotions within her – basically take up an interest to take her mind off her ex. She should make it one of her New Year Resolutions/goals to stop talking about her ex with her own friends, mutual friends or friends of the new wife, basically stop all forms of communication with her ex and if she must contact him ensure she does so by letter or, if possible, get a third party to send messages on her behalf, concerning their children only, but nothing personal.
    She needs to try and move on and try to remember she left him for a good reason namely he was a cheater. The fact that he has got married more than indicate that he has found a new love, is no longer interested in her (his ex) and therefore has finally moved on and she has to do the same. She may not be able to see it now but one day she will say that it is a blessing in disguise that they are no longer together.
    Her mindset is such that she is emerging as a spiteful and evil individual which I am sure she is not, but given this unhealthy obsession, she should ensure that her judgment does not become clouded and she should put such dangerous thought of spite and malice on the back burner and start living her life, especially as such proposed actions and bad feelings could affect her relationship with her own children. 2014 is a new year and her resolve should be to make it a good year for herself by simply moving on, and try to forget her ex – there is nothing wrong in thinking about her ex – but in time she will be able to banish him from her mind completely. I wish her best of luck for the future and she should try to remember that time is a good healer.

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  10. Lady please leave this man alone. He does not owe you anything, you guys are done! His only responsibility is to take care of his children, and since he is doing that say thank God. You were the one who let him go now you in his ass like a diarrhea. Show some respect to his current partner and have some self pride. If you did not want him stepping out on you when yall were together, please show his current partner the same respect. Now stop it u look thirsty!

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  11. This woman is not confused. She knew just what she was doing. You see sis you were playing the player for a while there now the player, played you. Who is your daddy now? Some of us have it but dont know how to keep your man. Now he is gone NEVER TO RETURN IT HURTS LIKE A SORE FOOT Hope you learn you jackass. It serves u right. live and learn lol.

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  12. Now you need to leave the man alone and stop trying to wreck his new life. Do you think that wrecking his life with his new wife is going to make him come running back to you? WRONG! He might even grow to despise you. Appreciate the fact that he is minding his kids and being a good father to the kids he has with you. Try to focus your energy on something worthwhile, do not do to another what you would not like another woman to do to you!

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  13. By the way, why would any woman ( in a relationship,) listen to any single female?
    What form of advice can she give you about yours?
    And why is she single in the first place?

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  14. Now,Where are the friends who advised you to leave your man?...LOL great advise from great friends. silly rabbit

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  15. You go learn. Your man cheating. He has a few women. You leave him and get friendly to another who has a few women. Haha. Very smart. Keep walking Jeannie Walker.

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  16. Ummmm so u had a man ...left him and went to meet boyz.....now u want to leave boyz and come back to a man........R u sure u know what u want............I thought women were breadnut.....u must be a breadfruit........go figure

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  17. Lady, stop embarrassing yourself and leave the man alone. You know he has moved on, and it is time you accept it. If you listened to your friends and let him go and you shouldn't have, then it is your mistake. Deal with it, accept it and move on. Be careful what you do now does not come back to haunt you. Be careful and think before you try to wreck his relationship. There may be repercussions you may not be able to handle.Since you don't give a damn about your pride and self worth, think about your kids and how your stupidity can affect them

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  18. peep peep clear the way woman you are on the curb so stay there. let the man enjoy his life with his family. by the way i think you are SICK GET HELP.

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    • What an ignorant statement...Lucian Women again...Have you conducted a survey on this that you could make such a general statement about lucian women?

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  19. girl live the man alone the man has moved on he has a wife n a new born on the way he is taking care of his kids thats great u left not him now u want to regret i think u jealous of the man because he married another woman not you so move onnnnnnnnnnnnn

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  20. Frankly: You are PATHETIC. HE'S MARRIED! My gosh....shoo fly..go away...stop being useless(yes, that is useless behaviour) and DO something with your life. Believe me if he ever decides to take you on,he will treat you exactly how you deserve to be treated for behaving in such a low and degrading manner. Spread lies for what? That is so moronic...you really think it won't come back and bite you in the...?NUFF SAID

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    • Very true.
      Those women are ever so happy to see another woman who was happy in a relationship, just as miserable as them...i.e. single, on the market and have lost everything good they once had.

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  21. Sumtimes it doesn't pay to listen to friends huh, like in this case, you listened to a friend, dumped the guy and he moved on and now you realize you made a mistake, you can solicit advice from your friends but in the end the only person you should really listen to is yourself, you're the only person that knows whats best for you, stop trying to be a loose and move on, interfering with a marriage is a sin punishable by god, this is serious.........

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  22. woman stop being jealous of the mans life and try to get ur own, you were the one that left him for cheating, been with 4 guys since then and none of them were good enough for you...the man is MARRIED and his starting a family..u shud try doing the same and stop trying to be a home wrecker...it looks like you a puppy chasing after a bone that doesn't exist. STOP BEING JEALOUS!!!

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