Dear Willie: I have moved on with my new boyfriend who I really love, and he loves me unconditionally. The thing is my ex figured I didn’t have enough time for him during the week, when I put him to sit and and clearly explained to him that since I started working things will be different.
He works in Vieux Fort and I work in Castries. He said he understood. Things started okay and then I started getting to know he was with someone else. I confronted him about it and he denied it. I knew it was true because 10 people wouldn’t just come up with the same story at once. OK Willie. We separated (so he said) but I was through with him.
He still used to call me and tell me she is just a fling because I wasn’t available to satisfy his needs all the time. I asked him what was wrong with his hands or waiting. I was feeling some way, seeing them together.
He called me a day and literally begged for another chance. At that time I had already started a relationship with my current boyfriend. I told my boyfriend about it. He said it’s up to me but he wouldn’t advise me to go back and then get hurt. He knew it was hard letting go of someone I spent three years of my life with. So said so done, I stayed with my boyfriend but my ex and I spoke off and on.
Lately my ex started calling me at work every day, saying he misses me and wants to make up for his mistakes. I still have feelings for him but not enough to break up with my boyfriend for him. He said he wants to treat me right and start doing stuff for me. Willie, I am a girl so I started falling for it but I never believed him.
I questioned him about the girl and he said it was just a fling. It’s almost a year since all that started. He says he is not with her, she keeps on posting stuff on Facebook about them and recent photo tags. It gets to me when she posts stuff about them, and I don’t know why.
He has seen me with my boyfriend and he got really upset. It’s like he keeps tabs on me every day.
I really want some help.
Dear Confused: I was burning some stuff while answering your letter and a lot of things jumped out at me. I believe you’re the problem now.
You broke up with the guy, great. You found a new boyfriend you love (hmmm) and he loves you “unconditionally” (good boyfriend, right?).
Then guess what you started doing? Entertaining this ex. That’s the biggest mistake.
My granny always say “old fire stick easy to catch (fire)”. That means you don’t just get over someone you love and have spent so much time with. It doesn’t happen so soon. As such, it would have been wise to move on, I mean REALLY move on: no communication with this ex; not entertaining his calls, explanations, etc.
Ex means X (finito, finish).
As a result of this constant communication (regardless of who called first), this is causing you to get entangled in his web of deception to break up your relationship. That’s all this bum dude is trying to do. When he was in Vieux Fort eating plenty saltfish (cheating on you), he did not know this would have been the outcome?
But he believes he still has something on you because you keep entertaining him, and WORSE, showing him that he still has an effect on you by policing his Facebook profile. Girl, you want a slap from your momma or what?
And this boyfriend of yours is too nice, talking crap about he understands what you’re going through. That gave you even more ammunition to entertain the X-Factor. I hope your boyfriend is also keeping his eel in his pants.
Your boyfriend is a little bit too soft. He needs to put his foot down because apparently you can’t keep your feelings in check. That’s why I always encourage people, who come out of a relationship, to take some time off dating. Get over that person first before jumping into another. Nothing is wrong being single.
I am single and people believe it is a crime, saying something must be wrong with me. I know something is wrong with everybody. I just hope they haven’t made a report to the police as yet about my singleness.
Anyway Confused, it is time to smell the coffee before you allow your ex to ruin a good relationship. Tell the guy once and for all that Willie says effective immediately, you would like both of you to stop communicating, he should stop calling your phone, texting you, and repeating himself like a stuck tape, because you’re NOT interested in reuniting and you’re happy with your boyfriend. DO that for a month and see how good it will be.
In the meantime, keep your cat in your panty, and stay away from the ex. I hope you did not, at no time, let the little cat jump out.
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