“I asked him what was wrong with his hands or waiting” – ex wants to get back in the pic

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“I asked him what was wrong with his hands or waiting” – ex wants to get back in the pic


Dear Willie: I have moved on with my new boyfriend who I really love, and he loves me unconditionally. The thing is my ex figured I didn’t have enough time for him during the week, when I put him to sit and and clearly explained to him that since I started working things will be different.

He works in Vieux Fort and I work in Castries. He said he understood. Things started okay and then I started getting to know he was with someone else. I confronted him about it and he denied it. I knew it was true because 10 people wouldn’t just come up with the same story at once. OK Willie. We separated (so he said) but I was through with him.

He still used to call me and tell me she is just a fling because I wasn’t available to satisfy his needs all the time. I asked him what was wrong with his hands or waiting. I was feeling some way, seeing them together.

He called me a day and literally begged for another chance. At that time I had already started a relationship with my current boyfriend. I told my boyfriend about it. He said it’s up to me but he wouldn’t advise me to go back and then get hurt. He knew it was hard letting go of someone I spent three years of my life with. So said so done, I stayed with my boyfriend but my ex and I spoke off and on.

Lately my ex started calling me at work every day, saying he misses me and wants to make up for his mistakes. I still have feelings for him but not enough to break up with my boyfriend for him. He said he wants to treat me right and start doing stuff for me. Willie, I am a girl so I started falling for it but I never believed him.

I questioned him about the girl and he said it was just a fling. It’s almost a year since all that started. He says he is not with her, she keeps on posting stuff on Facebook about them and recent photo tags. It gets to me when she posts stuff about them, and I don’t know why.

He has seen me with my boyfriend and he got really upset. It’s like he keeps tabs on me every day.

I really want some help.

Confused

Dear Confused: I was burning some stuff while answering your letter and a lot of things jumped out at me. I believe you’re the problem now.

You broke up with the guy, great. You found a new boyfriend you love (hmmm) and he loves you “unconditionally” (good boyfriend, right?).

Then guess what you started doing? Entertaining this ex. That’s the biggest mistake.

My granny always say “old fire stick easy to catch (fire)”. That means you don’t just get over someone you love and have spent so much time with. It doesn’t happen so soon. As such, it would have been wise to move on, I mean REALLY move on: no communication with this ex; not entertaining his calls, explanations, etc.

Ex means X (finito, finish).

As a result of this constant communication (regardless of who called first), this is causing you to get entangled in his web of deception to break up your relationship. That’s all this bum dude is trying to do. When he was in Vieux Fort eating plenty saltfish (cheating on you), he did not know this would have been the outcome?

But he believes he still has something on you because you keep entertaining him, and WORSE, showing him that he still has an effect on you by policing his Facebook profile. Girl, you want a slap from your momma or what?

And this boyfriend of yours is too nice, talking crap about he understands what you’re going through. That gave you even more ammunition to entertain the X-Factor. I hope your boyfriend is also keeping his eel in his pants.

Your boyfriend is a little bit too soft. He needs to put his foot down because apparently you can’t keep your feelings in check. That’s why I always encourage people, who come out of a relationship, to take some time off dating. Get over that person first before jumping into another. Nothing is wrong being single.

I am single and people believe it is a crime, saying something must be wrong with me. I know something is wrong with everybody. I just hope they haven’t made a report to the police as yet about my singleness.

Anyway Confused, it is time to smell the coffee before you allow your ex to ruin a good relationship. Tell the guy once and for all that Willie says effective immediately, you would like both of you to stop communicating, he should stop calling your phone, texting you, and repeating himself like a stuck tape, because you’re NOT interested in reuniting and you’re happy with your boyfriend. DO that for a month and see how good it will be.

In the meantime, keep your cat in your panty, and stay away from the ex. I hope you did not, at no time, let the little cat jump out.

Willie 

Email letters to [email protected] Letters are strictly confidential and total privacy maintained. Also see disclaimer below.

Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user. 

 

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36 COMMENTS

  1. There's a saying that goes (never let an old flame burn u twice) if go back there honey chances are u gonna get hurt by this man again .stay away that's is y he us called your x !!!!!

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  2. Oh man girl...y u putting urself through this love triangle?....you need to think about the benefits and the drawbacks of what u're doing?.....eventually this will escalate into you having sex with two different men and that's a really bad sign. your self worth and self dignity is at risk. don't lose yourself in this. It might not be easy but take the step to ignore ur ex.....He is ur ex for a reason.....do not swallow ur own vomit.

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  3. i self more confused with this letter. And to make things worst the advice to current bf gave to you smh. Mate uh love you and you dont love him either and you dont love your X. This is one big mess.

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  4. ohmygosh!!!I hv neva seen willie more sarcastic and crazy!reading tht was fun.lolol.i agree with willie...although I am thinking of speaking to my ex of 4 years ago bcuz I just feel I need 2 gt some fings off my chest.lol.maybe I shud write to willie.

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  5. @ AB I was thinking the same thing less than a year she has a new boyfriend.At the rate women now a days are moving by the time they reach their forties they have 20 or more sexual partners.WOMEN NO MAN WANTS A WOMAN LIKE THAT TO MARRY!!!

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    • Yeah, so one has to ask are those women really honest and serious when they say those three words.
      But they love to throw around about being "honest and truthful"

      Women fail to realize that sometimes, it's not that a man doesn't want to settle down. But being "burnt" on many occasions by women, would put you in a state of paranoia.

      And women need to stop this nonsense.
      This is one of the reasons i don't date Lucian women, PERIOD.

      None of them can say crap about me.

      Have no time for little women on this island.

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      • AB you could pretty much say the same for men. Being burnt so many times by a man also depletes a woman's emotional well being.

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  6. X IS AN X PERIOD.....NO COMMUNICATION, NO HUGS WHEN U MEET, NO POLICING OF FB PROFILE.....BULLSHIT...HONESTLY I THINK YOU WANT BOTH MEN....PSSSHHHH

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  7. I agree with Willie 100%. No communication with the x whatsoever. Had she put a stop to him he would have never been calling. I speak from personal experience. I have lost someone close to my heart because she refused to stop communicating with her x. She always happened to know when he was ill or happened to need help in something

    The way I see it that communication is a bridge which should be burnt

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  8. "Sorry" I'm sorry to say you're more confused than the writer of the email. You say one thing and then in same breath (well sentence) you change over. Like a political crossing the floor.

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  9. Mr Willie i look forward to your advise. You are the best. Men keep you'll eel in you'll pants... love you willie

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  10. Oh Willie,whoyy mi soaps ! you got it right brother ! I dont know what it is with some women, they think its ok to talk to exes. Its not ok, unless you an that person have kids together. Her mistake is entertaining his bs. He was disrespectful enough to cheat, then lie about it.. like seriously ? dasheen-la bi li force pour menteur ! LOL

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  11. i think you need some alone time to get your feelings in check before you hurt the good man, whose time you are wasting.

    take willie's advice

    p.s. : vomit should not be re-ingested, you got rid of it for a reason.

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  12. Wilie oh willie guess i hv to met u cuz u sure kwn wat to say and u alwaz hit it on the head lol u good men

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  13. So what the hell is wrong with you women? if the man relationship was good he wouldn't want you; it is only because it failed he is trying to break yours up! You crazy getting confuse over what? I had a men for years who took me for granted when I left him I was no longer in love, I do not want him anymore, I don't trust him, I don't want his ride, I do not talk to him he wasted my time. I am not in a hurry for another relationship I enjoy single life I have a peace of mind and a whole heart!

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  14. X means finish(finito) I dnt knw y we men and women still communicate wif our ex's after a break up it causes problems..

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  15. I think the young lady is confused but I also think that she needs to let the past remain in the past. She shud've taken a break or analysed her feelings for her ex before going in too deep with her current boyfriend. This ex-boyfriend will bring nothing but heartache.

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  16. Lady, is it about love, or about being charmed by nice words? by beggings?? Many times these things give great feeling.. getting special attention... but it's surely not about love.. then you won't let come in these nice, sweet, charming, deceiving words..
    Continue with this, you loose both..
    good advice Willie.. she has to make clear for herself what real love is about.. and that's sure no mixing up with an ex or whoever is charming you...ask your self.. for whom you 'would go through fire'?

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  17. When I come home in December I would like to meet Willie ( Merrick) That guy always makes my crack up with his responses.

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  18. Wooow it's amazing most men when they get cheated on or have woman problems does go an drink rum cah function right and d last ting on a mans mind is sex if he talk to a woman who wana linkup but most women d first man dat wana linkup is revenge to ease d pain of cheating or man problems coz it,s all about making d husband/boyfriend feel their emotional pain whiles d new person gets hurt from being used if they expected real love

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  19. Willie the stuff you burn make your answer so on point. Burn that stuff more often before you answer those letters because clearly those confused letters can be re-read by the senders and their answers lie right there.

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  20. Alot of you'll just bashing out on the young woman like you'll have never been in part of that situation....all of us women don't get over a man as soon as we break up with them after a year or more we still have feelings for our ex and the only way we won't have feelings is if we never loved them. She told the current boyfriend about it because she's probably not planning to stay with him maybe she don't love him the way she loved the ex....shit like that happens just do the right thing....your ex cheated because he said you lived far but your current boyfriend could be screwing another woman right in front of you...no man won't give you advice like that if he is not eating somewhere else....another thing don't entertain that ex he should have known you would be gone if he didn't put his ass straight but he chose to take the risk of losing you so just leave him with his fling girl and move on for better or worse nice response Willie

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  21. I am single and people believe it is a crime...

    I just hope they haven’t made a report to the police as yet about my singleness.

    Willie, you're funny.

    I agree with your response.

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  22. I personally believe you do not love your current boyfriend because you evidently still have feelings for your ex. plus you have no respect for your current boyfriend's feelings by telling him of your confusion if I was him I leave you already. he himself is foolish or not serious about you because he says he understands your position I mean which man in their right mind would make s statement like that if he loves his woman and is aware that she entertaining her ex. the mere fact you entertaining your ex is because you want your ex but you want someone to confirm what you already feel like doing. Girl you right you are a girl, a little confused girl who has no clue what the hell she want. Go to your ex pal and and see if twice will be nice. good luck with that pal!!!

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