The programme is able to capture everything she does. Anything she types including passwords are recorded and can be accessed anytime and anywhere.
My issue is that lately she has been communicating with this man and they’re having plans to be together. It hurts to the see the type of lovable conversation they have. And it’s so hypocritical of her to pretend she loves me. I am stressed and feel depressed. It hurts a lot to see how they talk about me. I know the guy. We went to school together.
Now I want to confront her about it but I know what I did is a breach of privacy and I do not want to get in trouble. At the same time I need to get this out of my system fast before I explode and do something I shouldn’t do, so what’s your advice?
Your doubt in your wife’s fidelity seems to have prompted you to take the action of spying on her computer activities.
The findings, however, as you have indicated has left you feeling stressed and depressed. More specifically, the loveable conversations that she has with this other man, whom you know, their plans to be together, and how they speak about you. This is quite a bit to digest from someone who indicates that they love you. Your feelings of stress and depression are quite normal, given the present circumstances.
It is a lot you are dealing with and wanting to confront your wife and get it out of your system is a natural response/reaction. The question then is: How do you do that? Given the nature of how the said information was obtained and bearing in mind any legal ramifications/consequences, not only from your wife, but any third party, I suggest checking into this to ease your mind as you stated you do not want to get into trouble, whether personally or legally.
With respect to confronting your wife, should this be your choice after knowing the consequences of the breach of privacy, I suggest simply speaking to your concerns of her fidelity and how her actions have been and continue to affect you negatively. I also suggest seeking the ear of someone in your support system as it may help talking to a neutral party about how you are feeling.
At this point, my question to you would be, do you want to try and save the marriage or resolve it. Also, where your wife stands on this will need to be explored. Should both of you want to save the marriage, I suggest seeking professional counseling to help with the communication and bringing back the trust in the relationship.
Individual counseling for yourself to address the stress and depression is highly recommended, as how and who you are as an individual will contribute to the dynamics of the marital relationship.
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