I am madly in love with my relative

I am madly in love with my relative

Dear Willie:
There is this girl that I am madly in love with and she tells me that she loves me even more.

But there is a big problem. I was told that she is my cousin. Her father and my father are first cousins. I did not know in the beginning and I do not know if she knew either. She told me that she did not know.

I fell so deeply in love with this girl and we have had a crazy sex life. We have been seeing each other over two years. I cannot live without her. I love her so much.

She got to know that we were related about the same time with me and we have spoken about it. We decided to end it but one day I saw her walking pass me and I could not help myself but call her. We hooked up after and we have done stuff after.

More people are getting to know but it honestly does not bother me because my feelings for her is out of this world. In the back of my mind I know that it is wrong but I honestly don’t want to be right. I only think about her and how messed  up things are.

he loves me the same way and it is hard for me to keep my hands off her. This is the first time I have felt this way about any girl. I am thinking of what my next move will be and maybe your opinion can assist.

Dear Sir: This reminds me of a female dog I once had called Candy. She had about six puppies. When the pups became grown dogs, they (her offsprings) had sex with her and got her pregnant. And the cycle continued.

Her ‘grand pups’ had sex with her and got her pregnant. But that’s a dog’s life, a dog’s world. Dogs don’t discriminate: they do it anytime, anywhere, anyhow, with any dog – relatives, friends, enemies, dogs with STDS. Dogs don’t give a damn.

But as I said, that’s a dog’s world. We are humans.

In my opinion, relatives should not be sleeping with each other. It is morally wrong. Incest is also  a crime. And having children with relatives are also risky as it relates to birth defects.

You have already admitted you’re wrong, but you appear stubborn in your belief and ways. Every bad action has consequences, so be prepared.


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  1. The commentary and advice offered by “Dear Willie” appears derogatory and misleading. The comments by some on this post have been equally hypocritical and suggest deep ignorance. First, you are this girl’s second cousin. For intimate relationships to be considered incestuous, the individuals must be between parents and children, between siblings or between grandparents and children. Even sexual relations with a first cousin is not considered incest in the true sense. It may be “perceived” by society to be incestuous. Furthermore, there is little risk of any defects due to comingling of blood lines. This again only happens in situations of incest in the true sense. In effect, first cousins can mate and have no increased likelihood of defects in offspring. There is no “moral” issue either. There’s no condemnation in religious texts of relations between cousins. In fact, when many of these religious texts were written, intimate relations between cousins was fairly common.
    Thus, the issue faced is that of societal norms and cultural acceptability. Culturally, relations with relatives may be frowned upon, even if it might be out of fear or ignorance. However, in Saint Lucia, it is certainly not unheard of. There are many successful families where this has happened. There will also always be differences of opinion, but it is not morally or legally wrong, nor injurious to offspring. It’s legally wrong to have sex with a minor. It’s morally wrong to do the same with someone else’s spouse. However, this is Saint Lucia and we know the shameful realities. Therefore, if you are truly in love with this individual and she feels the same, then I think you should pursue a happy life together.


  2. From my own limited experience in small close knit Lucia- the episode of a CRUSH between cousins is typically an EXPLOITATION of proximity, unusual opportunities and a a burning need to TRUST someone. When all 3 factors are prevalent what becomes a crush can be coined into a sexual transaction -faster than an electric toaster of 2 slices of bread.

    Typically it is the advanced social emotional crises of girls who are most vulnerable. Recall that girls are 3 years in social-emotional and sexual development than boys. In religious tabooed Lucia they cannot connect to siblings or parents to air their BUDDING developmental concerns or crises hence the cousins not too close yet not as distant as ordinary friends or strangers.
    The cousin syndrome affords the comfort medium of both confidentiality and detachment.

    A smart cousin (3 years or more older) matches the vulnerable female cousin (Remember boys her age or i-2 years older are immature for her level of physical development. Boys her age are still learning to pee in a straight line while she is moving from traing bras to inheriting her older sister's real bras.

    So the older male cousin can easily convert her confidential personal crises to temporary escapes of sexual arousal etc.
    The closeness (cousins) gives the victim a sense of security from the general mores of the society and the preying eyes ides- suspicions of the neighborhood.

    The social network of cousins provides the very best opportunities for sexual EXPLOITATION among all other types of meeting and hooking up (excluding call girls and lap dancers).


  3. Civil servant gave history of the practice between Euro royalty BUT not le raison! Consolidation of POWER- Economic or military. But look at the Hemophillia that was contracted by prince of the Czar lineage who was also a bloodline connection to Queen Victoria. At least their excuse is the abundance of micro biology facts we have on hand today especially in the field of genetics.

    The whole idea of replicating genes is like russian roulette

    The CLOSER your hereditary markers the mor likely the offspring has in NOT being able to MASK - SHIELD- neutralize a potentially bad gene during RNA replication of the chromosome data between the egg and sperm fusion of the copulating parents.

    Yes its Russian roulette alright but the closer the bloodlines the higher your chances of aberrant genetic factors becoming your inheritance -for life!

    BOYS are especially more fragile because their XY reality gives them only a 50% shield for filtering a negative genetic inheritance. Hence the laws to avert the cost to society of avoidable costly complications. Mapping of the human genome and its implications should be taught in all schools


  4. Mr. do your do...most of dem assholes dat saying it wrong fornicating.. sin is sin as far as i am concerned....why dey eh write an say how much bom they making with people husband or wife instead of judging you..chpz tun...keep it in the family


    • Leviticus 18 New International Version (NIV)

      Unlawful Sexual Relations
      18 The Lord said to Moses, 2 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘I am the Lord your God. 3 You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. 4 You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the Lord your God. 5 Keep my decrees and laws, for the person who obeys them will live by them. I am the Lord.

      6 “‘No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the Lord.

      7 “‘Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.

      8 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father.

      9 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.

      10 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter; that would dishonor you.

      11 “‘Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father; she is your sister.

      12 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s sister; she is your father’s close relative.

      13 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your mother’s sister, because she is your mother’s close relative.

      14 “‘Do not dishonor your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.

      15 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife; do not have relations with her.

      16 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonor your brother.

      17 “‘Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness.

      18 “‘Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.

      19 “‘Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.

      20 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her.

      21 “‘Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molek, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the Lord.

      22 “‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.

      23 “‘Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.

      24 “‘Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. 25 Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. 26 But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the foreigners residing among you must not do any of these detestable things, 27 for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. 28 And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you.

      29 “‘Everyone who does any of these detestable things—such persons must be cut off from their people. 30 Keep my requirements and do not follow any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them. I am the Lord your God.’”


      • I didn't see
        "brother's child for that is your cousin." or in this case
        "great grand father's child for that is your cousin." (they are 2nd cuz)

        do i need to read again.


  5. Willie I was disappointed in your answer this time which is not usual. You let your personal bias rule over logic. Whilst it may not be advisable, distant cousins marry all the time. Certain hereditary illnesses may be compounded but the risk is low with second cousins. And... there is nothing illegal about it as far as I know