Dear Willie: I have been suspecting my wife for a while. I think she has been having an affair with a neighbor.
I found some evidence, and those evidence always points out to the same direction, all the time.
We haven’t had sex for a while, almost a year, but three weeks before the incident, we had sex. And because of her condition of vaginal dryness, she needed a lubricant.
That particular day, when we had sex, we couldn’t find a lubricant around the house, for her to use. I suggested to her to use some coconut oil solution, that she uses on her feet for dryness. Because it’s all pure coconut oil, we decided to use it as lubricant, and it worked.
One day, three weeks after we had sex, we got into a big argument and she left our bedroom to sleep in the other bedroom. That bedroom has access to the backyard. That night she slept in that room. The following day, and early in the morning, she left the house to buy some stuff at the grocery store. When I got up from bed, I went into the guest bathroom down the hallway, I went inside the bathroom, and I noticed that in the trash can were some wrapped toilet papers — four of them — packed with coconut oil and water.
She normally does that to clean herself after sex. I also found that inside the jar, containing the coconut oil was a fingermark with a distinctive large finger, a large index finger. My fingers are small and also her fingers. I confronted her with this evidence and she denies it and she couldn’t give me a convincing answer.
What is your opinion Willie? As I am getting very confused and I am seeking counseling therapy. I have been married for over 35 years.
Dear sir: Instead of branding your wife a cheater ask yourself some questions.
What if she used the coconut oil on her feet that night/morning? What if she spilled some of the coconut oil and she used the toilet paper to clean up?
If your wife is a serial cheater, which means she should be good at covering her tracks, why would she dump evidence — conveniently — in a place for you to discover?
Again, you said the evidence always points to the same direction, but you have only given me one scenario. I cannot judge her on one scenario. What about telling us about several other evidence you discovered?
Is she so careless or you’re so good at investigations? Are you a veteran Dick Tracey?
Sometimes insecurity can drive anyone to do stuff on purpose. I am not saying she is innocent but when someone is constantly accused of doing something they aren’t doing, it can drive them to do stuff purposely to annoy you.
Also, instead of confronting your wife, have a sit-down and talk about this like mature people. If you’ve already exhausted this option then attending some counselling sessions with a trusted person is recommended.
In addition, do not go to bed vex. Try to solve your issues before bedtime. My parents and grandparents always gave me this advice.
In the meantime, please think positively and stop behaving like a forensic scientist.
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