Her man is too good to be true – it seems

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Her man is too good to be true – it seems


Dear Willie:
I left my daughter’s father a year ago thinking it was the best decision I made.

I’m with this guy currently; it’s been a year now and the relationship has been going pretty good so far. The only issue is that I feel insecure. He says he has never cheated. I’ve been through his phone many times and I see a number of messages mainly from women texting him.

I know it’s wrong to do. I’ve also had many conversations with him based on the messages. I haven’t seen any messages where he actually replied, but then again men are sneaky. He says that he wouldn’t leave me for any other girl out there.

He is the man that every girl dreams of: he would not let me leave without saying he loves me and kissing me goodbye. He is very productive. He helps a lot around the house and he is great with my daughter.

Willie I think we can go a long way with our relationship. He has his own business and I try my best to help him out financially. I even bought a vehicle so we can move about and make things a bit easier in our lives. He is the kind of guy that I can do anything for and he would do the same for me.

I’m not sure if he is just using me because I have the money or whether he really wants to be with me. Willie, it’s has been three weeks since we slept next to each other and haven’t been sexually active. I know he is a hard worker and try not to be hard on him, but sometimes I think he is cheating and just making excuses that he is tired.

I feel so insecure that I regularly go through his phone when he is not around. I really love him and I always say to him: if he doesn’t want me he should let me know because I don’t want to be spending my time and money on a guy who just wants to use me.

Dear Miss: You upset my entire afternoon, though I am not surprised. What do some women want? You get a good man – a man that “every girl dreams of”, yet you’re complaining.

Your first sentence had me worried: “I left my daughter’s father a year ago thinking it was the best decision I made.” THINKING IT WAS THE BEST DECISION? Are you implying that you regret leaving your daughter’s father? So, if this new man is every woman’s dream – as you stated – why did you leave your child’s father and enter a new relationship? If you regret leaving your ex, and this new BF is a great man, then your ex must be superman.

Besides him not having sex with you as often as you like, I do not see where the problem is. You’re obviously the problem. And your letter implies that you’re more concerned about your money than the relationship.

And you claimed that you love this man? I don’t think you love him. You’re just wasting the man’s time. You’re treating the man like he is a business – you’re only there for investing.

I won’t apologise but I will say this: many women don’t know what’s good for them or do not know what they want. They’re in an abusive relationship and they leave and return; they get a good man, then they cheat and/or complain.

If you want more sex, just tell the man. I don’t know how old he is. Probably he has low libido as a result of overworking, poor diet, etc. So why not discuss this with him?

I once dated a girl and she told me “you’re too good to be true”. She claims I am too straightforward or I am too honest. But check a few Facebook statuses in the evenings. You will see: “I hate liars”, “I prefer to be hurt by the truth than a lie”. But truth is, the liars are the ones getting the girls. The poor dude doing all he can to make you happy, and you’re going through his phone, questioning him, and despite his positive response and the lack of evidence, you’re still unsure?

This is my advice, leave your man’s contact number and name so I can get a good woman for him. In addition, take back your car and money and feed your baby’s father.

Have an insecure weekend.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

 

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52 COMMENTS

  1. Alot of lucian women don't know how to appreciate good things they think if it's too good something is wrong it , women don't realise they are alot of good men out there

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  2. I work very had and realized my sex drive was decreasing so I started working out and it helped. My girl believe I was cheating but it was her headaches not mine. So there are good guys out there
    You spoke about car and money. Remember he still works hard so he is not a leash.

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  3. y did I always think willie was a woman?aa.anyway my daring,communicate with the guy.3 weeks without sex is ALOT.follow ur instincts...if u feel tht hes cheating n uhv evidence,then do wat u must.but if u hv no evidence,then u jus gotta b observant n supportive lik you've always been.furthermore...he being gr8 with ur daughter means a lot.gve him a chance n just b open minded and careful.and btw,tell him 2 put a leash on those women texting.choops

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  4. God saw a hard working man and ask him do u ever take a vacation he rplied ,he is afraid to fly but if he will build a bridge he would gladly go from St Lucia to London , god say naa to much work choose something else , make me under stand women, what they want , how they think etc , god ask him how long is that bridge , so u see not even god can understand them

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  5. From my experience, his cheating. I remember I was in a similar relationship. Nicest guy alive but the moment he left me, he would go meet another woman to sleep with him. He was always too tired for sex. I caught him read handed one time too many, then I was out. Sorry my life and well being comes first.

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    • This is what Willie SHOULD have said instead of being so biased and unhelpful. I do agree with your comment, except where you stated that you agree with Willie. When someone seeks advice, advice should be given, not a hoff

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  6. Smh. I totally agree with Willie's brashness. Its time to stop sugar coating things around here. She is obviously "insecure" , whose fault is that? As a grown woman you need to deal with your insecurities and stop holding your relationship at gun point with your own fears. If you are so insecure get help, self motivation books, counseling, body image issues- lose weight work on whatever that's making you feel so insecure. My dear if your man hasn't given you any justifiable reason to doubt him , then don't. If the shoe was on the other foot would you appreciate him "using you for money". Come on. You need to communicate your insecurities to your partner and if he's not too interested in sex, the onus is on you to find out why. Try not to evaluate yourself based on your partner's life. You are your own individual and you need to take care of you first especially those insecurities of yours. Futhermore, I think you have a good man based on what you wrote, so don't go around trying to fix something that's not broken. If you feel its "too good to be true", step back and assess the situation with a clear mind and make the decision that is best for you and your daughter. Futhermore, regardless of what society, media or whoever, always remind yourself that you are beautiful and perfect in the eyes of GOD.

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      • To Lioness, this is what Willie SHOULD have said instead of being so biased and unhelpful. I do agree with your comment, except where you stated that you agree with Willie. When someone seeks advice, advice should be given, not a hoff

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  7. Williem

    Most of the readers thought you were hash but I thought you were being real. At least you did not ask for her love you wanted to give him away because of her chief complain. Willie the woman was not coming straight forward with you so you could not answer her correctly either. I saw you sense that too. First she sound like she regret leaving the ex and then she has a perfect man and then she thinks he was cheating. I am guessing she has none of the above. She is just a reader looking to chat and to keep a dialogue with you.

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  8. willie good point, but from a mans perspective THREE WEEKS NO SEX, I believe even though he was cheating he would still have sex with his girlfriend, but THREE WEEKS NO SEX... my girl communication is the life blood of a relationship TALK to your man.

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  9. Every woman who spends her a money on a man often thinks that's the only reason he is there. That's not always the case..that woman must be ugly as hell but have a lil money and surprised the man take her on..point blank

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  10. Lady you sound like you have more baggage than a 747, no man wants to deal with that drama.Communicate effectively with your partner and see a shrink if you need too.Why must he initiate sex all the time? If he is in the shower and your daughter is asleep jump in there with him.Do you suffer from lock jaw? No man has ever complained about late night/wee hours head.Teef a wine if you have to,if he wakes up to you riding him,will he kick you outta bed?
    Put down those self help books, the so called relationship experts advice and come up with a solution that works for both you and your partner that's practical.

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  11. Willie you a sick for saying such! Whilst she may feel insecure you can recognize that this relationship has traits of cheating. I mean dude playing the game but not covering all his bases. She has the right to feel insecure!

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  12. Hahah laughing that this woman right now girl you can send me his number n ill take good care of him n u can go back to your ex hahah

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  13. Well.. It seem she hit a nerve. You definitely shut her down rather than actually giving unbiased advice. Try keeping your personal feelings out of responses; professionality is best.

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  14. Why does Willie have to be such a jerk though? And I bet half of the men commenting here (including Willie) think they're a "good man" but they really need a reality check seeing as they're so inconsiderate about women's feelings. Just because you're not physically abusive, doesn't mean you don't hurt your woman.