Her “black militant” boyfriend seems to be attracted to “ugly” white girls

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Her “black militant” boyfriend seems to be attracted to “ugly” white girls

dearwillie2.0-blueDear Willie: I am a very light-skinned black woman. I look bi-racial, except for coarse hair.

My boyfriend cheated on me once when we were having major issues (my fault) and it was a white woman. Now, I am not a hater, but she was fat and quite unattractive. Not to mention, she may be pregnant with his baby.

Now, he confessed the affair to me and has had no more contact with her. He said when the baby comes in October he will get a blood test.

This girl has a long arrest record, doesn’t work and is on welfare. I am tall, attractive and I have a career.

I notice he never looks at any beautiful black women when we are out. But he always turns his head at some ugly white girl. Not to mention he always watches porn, which I don’t mind. I watch porn too, but he only watches white girls.

He tells me if he wanted a white girl he would get one. But he makes me think he is with me because I am a fair-skinned black girl.

How can I tell if he is attracted to white women? And should I be concerned?

Not to mention I am 10 years older than he is, even though I don’t look it.

He also tells me it is because where he lived for years it wasn’t any black women around, so he found himself attracted to white women, even though he is this black militant brother.

Thanks for your insight,
Concerned Woman

Dear Concerned: “Once you go white your future looks bright” and “once you go white it’s pure delight”. Those are the sentiments expressed to me when I asked a few black guys why they love white women.

But don’t despair, don’t be offended. In this case, because your man is a “black militant brother”, is the reason why white men “go black and never turn back”.

I have also been concerned too when I see these very beautiful white women with some scruffy, wild-looking black men.

The guy simply is attracted to white women more, regardless of appearance. You can’t kill him for that. It’s the same way, when white or fair-skinned females are arguably more attracted to darker skin guys.

If he is not attracted to you, he is not attracted to you – no matter how beautiful you are.
On the other hand, this man deserves the door. You need a better man. After all that you have explained, he does not love you.

So keep stepping.

Willie

Email letters to [email protected] Letters are strictly confidential and total privacy maintained. Also see disclaimer below. Dear Willie is published Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as official counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.   

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16 COMMENTS

  1. you do need to to go back to the times to listen to one of the mighty sparrow song in which he sang one of the verses and it goes like this........there's no segregation and no colour question when two people fall in love. thanking you. stop making yourself look like a door mouse. Love yourself

    (0)(0)

  2. Lady you have a color complex problem yourself. The very introduction of your letter dictates that.

    We must learn to love ourselves and embrace each other regardless of our shade of black.

    That 50 shades of light complexe syndrome in the black community so needs to die. It's dividing us unlike any other culture.

    (21)(0)

  3. Wow woman .. U full of yourself aren't you. In this letter I heard you bring a lot of those women "white" women down which had me questioning your attitude. You appear to have very low self esteem - blaming yourself for him cheating - and you more on a quest to find out more of why he is why he is instead of trying to do you. I guess you stay because you want to prove something that you are better than who or what he goes after. Fact that you are 10 years his senior means you should not be allowing this dude to take you for a job ride. Stand up for yourself, put your foot down and if anything keep it moving. You think you might have problems doing that? Well just google and get websites and people to help build yourself esteem and give you the courage you need to step up and get out.

    (8)(2)

  4. you stupid stupid girl. first of all this man does not love you hence the reason he cheated, also you need to check your attitude! you sound racist and not to mention a snob! stop seeing the colour of others skin and their dress size and look in the mirror! because being a meg fish bone may not mean you are sexy. some men actually love meat on their bones.

    (22)(3)

  5. What is this black and white stuff all about?
    Love does not see color. Girl, rethink your relationships.

    (16)(4)

  6. My dear lady beauty is not everything, what's your attitude like? You can't keep a man with beauty. What did u do ?that u blame yourself for the man for jumping ship? Remember never try to control a man.

    (8)(2)

  7. Hun chill, thr guy isnin a relatiinship with you . You are thinking a bit immature , why woyld you be concerned by whom hes attracted too . Does that change the fact that hes human? Even if he was attracted ro black women would that change anything ? Im sure you are attracted to persons to . Its human nature. Dont make problems out of something that isnt called for. The fact that you put a human being down by calling them fat. Being fat doesn't make you ugly and being slim or tall doesn't make you attractive . It's what's onthe inside and how you present your self . Change ur mentality.

    (22)(0)

  8. If you want a relationship where no cheating occurs try marrying a priest, of course he might be caught bulling. You don't get it do you? What made you think that you were the only person in the world that he should be attracted to. The very restrictions of the so called relationship creates an interest in cheating. All prohibitions provoke ones interest. Cheating sex is the hottest sex.

    (4)(13)

  9. Don't worry my dear, show him the door. You look good because you are a sistah. White women look good in their twenties, once they heat thirty, it is all down hill. Don't you see how some of them struggle to look good, doing all kinds of things and having so many different operations Let him go with his white woman soon or later he will end up with a granny. They age so quickly . Believe me, I live in the UK, I see it all the time. Some smoke a lot as well and then develop some deep deep voice, too funny, let him go and find one. Find yourself someone that makes sense, he clearly doesn't.

    (21)(12)

    • No need to put down the other race, the man likes what he likes. Is for the woman to move on cuz like someone stated he is a cheater, I don't care what colour woman, size of woman a man cheats with, cheating is a red flag !

      (19)(1)

  10. Honestly,I didn't even read the entire message. There's no need to. Huney, he cheats cuz u let him. First sign,u blame ur self. Wht the ras u blaming urself for the man's infidelity. Choops!!! SOME of u all women only get wht u all accept. I dnt care if I hav to b dating a man ever fucking yr but I won't stay with a cheater. N I always make myself clear in the big inning so there's no misunderstanding when I walk away. There are good men out there who are looking for good loyal women. Take ur time and wait. He will find u or u will find him. Dnt ever settle for less!!!!!!

    (43)(1)

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