Gay man afraid to come straight with girlfriend, says he likes Willie

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Dear Willie: I know many people will judge me and say all ish but I do not care. This is my life and nothing can change that.

My issue is I am gay and do not know how to tell my girlfriend. We have been together since high school. We are in love. I love her so much out of this world.

For years I suspected I was gay but fought the feelings because of how society view gay people. I have been with many women but I have never been satisfied with the sex. I just don’t get it.

I have been torturing myself too long. I had sex with a man one time and it was the most glorious thing I have ever felt. But I was depressed after that because the Bible is against it because I was brought up in a christian home. I know it is wrong so I never went back to that. God knows it has been tough fighting the urges. I just feel satisfied with the release my female partner gives to me, but that is not enough Willie, I am older now and believe it is time to accept who I am.

My problem is I do not want to hurt my girl. I love her a lot. She is a great human being. She wants to get married and have children. Her parents love me and I love them. She is so beautiful and intelligent but the sex sucks to the S. And it is not for a lack of performance, I am just not into women. I am convinced. The company is great, even greater than most men but I prefer men.

I just don’t want to hurt her and devastate her and I do not want to keep punishing myself.

I see a lot of gays coming out in St. Lucia, some dressed as women. I am not into that nonsense, I am a straight up gentleman. I am the last person on earth you would think is gay but I am very much gay. When I see some guys I get an instant erection. I am not attracted to all.

I am very attracted to men. I also find you Willie attractive. Yes I know who you are. I am not rolling on you but am just saying. My head is spinning as I write this so forgive me.

I am confused and hurt. I do not know why God made me this way. I wish I was normal but I cannot continue to live a double life. I need to exhale and find Mr. Right but I do not want to lose my girlfriend.

So am awaiting your advice Willie and keep looking good. The females are lucky.

Gay and confused.

Dear Gay and Confused:

First of all I am not interested in men but thanks for the compliment.

I believe you should do what is right: tell your girlfriend. It will hurt but the longer you take to disclose this, the more it will hurt.

I am happy you have decided to come out the closet so that you can free this young lady into the arms of a  man who loves women.

I will not judge your sexuality as it is your nature and your choice. So just tell her please, as soon as possible. No delays. Get this over with.

And, PLEASE, do not get married to this girl.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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62 COMMENTS

  1. honestly I do not care what goes on in another's bedroom, you can live your life the way you wish and I cannot fully condemn something that I cannot understand, being straight myself I can only understand what I feel and that is a strong attraction to women. What I would say you are doing wrong is leading the woman on. in this woman's mind she has security on a relationship level, she has a man who is supposedly going to marry her and have children with then live happily ever after......or something so. from what you are saying it is not your desire to fulfill those needs for her, in this case you owe it to her to be honest and let her find someone who is willing and able to complete her in these ways while she has time. it will hurt her yes but in time she will recover, in addition you claim to love her, so do what's best for her...........#LetHerKnow #LetHerGo.

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  2. i have been through this myself..found our my partner was gay accidentally and left the bastard..dem gay men nasty and St.Lucia have lots of lots of gay men/married bulling with other men..women check yr men and be careful as your health depends on it.

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  3. im a female goin through the same thing please tell her or she will end up like me hurt and confused and thinking it was her fault

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  4. Live ur life my friend .
    if u r gay that's ur choice just be honest with ur self and do the right thing tell her something and go ur way

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  5. I think you should come clean because in the long run it will be detrimental. Suppose you guys get married and then you meet the guy of your dreams. How do you think she would feel if she found you together. It would devastate her because she was never the one you wanted anyway.

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  6. Free yurself and free up yur girlfriend ok. that business of being gay is not from God he dosnt make any mistakes. with that said. u need to let her go ok. the longer u keep that dirty secret from her the deeper her pain wil be so plzzzzzzzzzzzz tell her now. And dont expect any sempathy from her. Just run as fast as u can cuz u will get murdered ok good riddings

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  7. God always stands by His word no matter how loving He is. If He says not to do something He stands by it. Homosexuality is a sin, likewise adultery, fornication, lying,stealing, murder including abortions, coveteousness of any kind, calling God’s name in vain every second like OMG OMG, worshiping idols especially in the music industry etc, etc. All these things and more displeases the Lord but He is faithful and just to forgive us once we come to him in repentance. Don’t show that He sent His Son to die for us in vain. Jesus paid a dear price for us. God should be our focus in everything we do and say. If we know it is wrong in His eyes, do not do or say it. We have to strive to do so because He said so. God does not hear the cry of the wicked (sinners). Meaning if we ask for forgiveness and willfully continue to sin are we making a mockery of God.We have all sinned but it is our choice whether we continue in sin or not. God said go and sin no more, not SOME more. It’s time to turn to our Bibles and read what God requires of us. Reverence Him and obey Him in Spirit and in truth!

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  8. We are all human. We are all equal.
    No one is better than anyone else. Whether you believe or not it doesn't matter.
    We are all human.
    I love all of humanity and will fight for Human Rights whether for freedom or for love.
    Please, let us stop fighting.
    There's no need to lash out.
    There's no need for harsh words.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LwGfwgFgnU

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  9. 1.I'm gay
    2.Being gay occurs by three ways:
    a.Natural selection-genetic makeup and formation; ur BORN THIS WAY (90%)
    b.Environmental influences- such as being raised with women only, no dad (7%)
    c.Choice (2%)
    3.It's not okay to be gay bible wise, however it's good to build a relationship with god and be happy for who u are. Mistakes will be made, it's natural. hey,If it's a sin as they say it is, then is forgivable. u certainly won't go hell for being gay, cuz if i recall god is supposedly a "LOVING" god. He know's what you're going through..he knows what all LGBT peeps go through..he knows why we strive for acceptance. Regular heterosexuals can't understand as they don't THINK like god. ASKING any gay person to "CHANGE", is like asking someone with brown eyes, which they were BORN with, to be changed to blue. Sure if i go to a pastor or whomever he'll pray for me..a random miracle may happen and my eye color may change but the probability of such is next to 1%. Back to reality being gay most of the time is natural...u know from a very young age haha.
    4.Please tell your girlfriend the truth, it may be hard but you must. If you can't tell her it at least come up with a good enough reason to end the relationship, otherwise it's really unfair for both of u.
    5.Enjoy life responsibly-IRREGARDLESS of what many of the irrelevant comments say, your happiness is important- many of them commenting are very sad and would like you to join their sadness too, BUT u gonna be okey. (^_^)

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  10. THE MAN NEED SOME HELP, HE COME TO YOU'LL AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS... BOMBARDING HIM FROM ALL ANGLES. THERE IS STILL THE ARGUMENT I WISH I COULD FIND THE ANSWER TOO... "ARE PEOPLE BORN GAY OR DOES IT EVOLVE OVER TIME." REGARDLESS, GAY PEOPLE ARE HUMAN BEINGS AND THEY DESERVE RESPECT TOO. THOSE OF YOU WHO LIKE TO QUOTE THE BIBLE, HOPE THAT YOU ARE NOT DOING IT FOR CONVENIENCE SAKE. TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR LIVES RIGHT THIS MINUTE AND SEE WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIVES THAT ARE AGAINST THE BIBLE. HA! DON'T FORGET TO GET MARRIED BEFORE YOU [email protected]#K THAT MAN OR WOMAN TONIGHT!

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  11. First of all who are we to judge, personally I do not think that people are born this way. My honest view is that lots of what we do are wrong according to bible standards but yet we still do it for example fornication, adultery is wrong, but how many of us practice these. The majority of us St. Lucians are not married and keep on engaging in premarital sex. Lying is also a sin, this is something we all do. I can understand why you wouldn't want to come out of the closet because we Lucians are so judgmental and hypocrites, its alright to do things as long as the "neighbours don't know". Even if you don't dress as a women and St. Lucians even your own friends perceive you to be a "faggot" you are teased on. I don't know I think it is because this is how is has always been, we were raised to hate gays and lesbians and believed that there is something wrong with them. Honestly I don't know how I will react if my daughter came to me one day I tell me that she is a lesbian.

    Because of our society so many men deceit and hurt women who they get into relationships with and sometimes children and they know that they are gay but they believe that they have to do what right and in the end is the women and the children that are the ones gets hurt. Get out leave her now better to hurt her at that stage than after you get married and have children for her to find out. Do the right thing.

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    • True dat you started good but you went astray.
      The bible is the standard for all morality. It is true that people all over the world are engaged in many immoral acts that are not always frowned upon by society but that does not make it right or give anyone excuse to join in with their sins. Homosexuality is a sin just like lying and fornication. Everybody has struggles in this life and contrary to popular belief no one is normal.
      Every struggle must be overcomed by depending upon Christ for strength. Find God my friend and you will be free

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      • Amen Concerned Brother. I agree with you. Belief, Repentance and Obedience to Christ is what we need. Once we do that we can depend on Him to overcome anything that is wrong in His eyes.

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