Dear Willie: I am a lady and is in a relationship for eight years. We are both in our late 20’s and employed. Like every relationship, we have had our little problems but have worked them out quite easily. I believe we have something good going on.
For the past five years I’ve asked my boyfriend for a child. He said that he is not yet ready. Right now, for some reason I doubt the relationship because I feel like it is time that we take it to the next level (house, engagement/marriage, child) but my boyfriend is not yet interested in any of those.
I have many times considered breaking up, but changed my mind because I’m not sure if this is a good enough reason to let go of what we have. The situation makes me so sad. Can you please share your opinion with me?
Dear Depressed: After eight years and he hasn’t put a ring on it, or at least hinted of something good to come? Well, I am sorry, but that’s just a waste of time.
I have seen folks together for longer, some up to 15 years, and are still not married – even after several children. On the other hand, I know folks who have been together for two years or less and are now married.
My recommendation is to stop bugging him. Give him another year, without ever asking about marriage, children, etc and see how it turns out. Sometimes the more we push, the more people run.
However, I must emphasise that eight years in a relationship with a man who is not even entertaining the marriage talk, is too long. He is forming the fool.
I wish you luck in this situation.
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