“Every time I see her I still see her with the guy”

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“Every time I see her I still see her with the guy”

Dear Willie: I’ve been dating this girl for over four years now and things were great. We have a one-year-old child and things were going the way they should be. As of late, things have taken a turn. I found out that she was seeing this other guy.

I found out the worst way possible. He came to a family gathering and that’s when it took a toll on me. An entire drama rose and I came close to killing this guy. Knowing that I have a kid and I’m living for him that’s what stopped me. Weeks passed and the matter was resolved.

We worked it out the best we can. But deep inside I’m insecure about her, and every time I see her I still see her with the guy.

How do I resolve or fully accept this situation?

Dear Sir: You have not provided some details I would’ve loved to know such as: how was she seeing this guy? Have they had sex? You said you found out the worst way possible? Worst way how? Did you find them kissing, having sex or did you see messages?

You said he came to a family gathering. Did you find out she was seeing him before, afrer or after the family gathering?

If I knew a bit more I could tell whether you are generally insecure or if you have reasons not to trust her.

If she did cheat on you, then you do not trust her anymore. You said the matter was resolved. How was it resolved? Did she assure you that she will stop seeing the guy?

I am afraid that whatever happened between her and the guy has had an irreversible effect on you, especially if it was sexual. Have you found out why she cheated?

When trust is ruined, it is most times difficult to regain. It could take years or months before you get over this.

I suggest you speak to her about your feelings. Yes, the matter is resolved as you said, but you may have more questions for her and you may need more assurances. You need to find out why she cheated if you haven’t asked her that as yet.

I applaud you for keeping your temper in check. Never let it escalates because not only will you lose your freedom and reputation but this will further push her away into the arms of someone else. You cannot fight fire with fire.

In the meantime, chin up. In the long run, if you cannot trust her anymore, it would be best to move on. There are many people out there willing to be faithful.

Willie

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8 COMMENTS

  1. But why would your want to 'Kill' the guy?...okay kill him & go to jail & see another man come and drop your woman Bordelais with your child to visit you.

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  2. bro, remember the girl that's the one cheating,so don't cheat your son life short of a father.so i commend you for keeping it cool and keep in mind the outside dude didn't just appear out of thin air,he was below the radar all along.the question is for how long?? Is the relationship worth fighting for? that's the questions you have too be asking yourself.bro u need u set your mind free and communicate with your woman that you uncomfortable about the situation and she needs to meet you half way in the name of your'l love & devotion to each other.

    a word of advice,u killing him would only make things worst for you,you go jail,your chick will still find some other dude to make her toes curll...your check yourself before you reck yourself

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  3. Why oh why ask for advice on things that fairly straightforward? She cheated on you, that's enough to kick her out of your life and not let her back in, do you have any idea how long this has been going on? Cuz if you have a 1 year old and she's cheating chances are shes been doing it for a long while, is the baby even yours? Smh these chicks, dude you fighting for this chick and she seriously ain't worth your time, take care of your baby and get her out of your life, "working it out" is just an excuse for "I don't want to be single and I completely forgive you even if you wronged me" Some things in a relationship sometimes just can't be worked out......

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