Did I do the right thing in taking him back?

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Did I do the right thing in taking him back?

Dear Willie: I’ve been in a relationship with my man for seven years. Six months ago he left the house and took everything he ever bought me because my son was coming to live with me.

He and my son had a few misunderstandings before. My son is only 16 and I feel the best place for him is home, but my boyfriend didn’t want that so he left.

My son is no saint but he’s my son, and in no way, shape or form would I give up on him.

Anyway a few weeks ago my boyfriend came back home when he heard that I was seeing someone else and professed his undying love for me. I took him back but deep inside I can’t forgive him for what he did, after being with this man for seven years and he had the heart to pickup everything he bought me and leave – not for something I did – but because of his foolish pride.

Knowing that I was faithful to him and he could do that to me, it kills me.  My question to you is, did I do the right thing in taking him back?

Confused

Dear Confused: Why did you take this man back then asking what you should do? “Deep down” you haven’t forgiven him so why take him back? Your son is still there, and the problem hasn’t been resolved.

Worst, he took everything from you and abandoned you. Now, you meet someone new and instead of moving on with your life, you dump this other person, and take up back the garbage.  I just cannot understand people’s logic.

Madam, you can’t move forward by going back into your negative past. Hence why you’re now stuck in a rut. I pray that you, him, your son can resolve this matter before it gets terribly wrong. But you could have avoided this situation. It was a blessing in disguise when he left you.

You need to rethink your decision.

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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12 COMMENTS

  1. its obvious u love your man. y take him back n not forgive him smh so y u take him back and now seeking for advice so what if every body tell u u did da wrong thing wat would u do den hmmmm!!

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  2. Dear confused. you r really confused how long after the boyfriend left u got hook up this new one u did not waste no time at all thats the problem. use yur brain
    and not your body. as far as your son is concerned u need to speak to him. your son must be doing things he have no bussiness of doing. so sit down with him and have a heart to heart talk with plseae dont get upset just listern to him ok tell yur old boyfriend that u are a total package u and yur son. thats when u will know if he loves u

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  3. Dear confused, its really too late to ask this question, of whether or not you should take this man back into your life, cause you already took him back. secondly, this man is seriously petty for him to take the belongings which he has given you over the years because he is upset. Petty Loser ! Furthermore, I agreed with the decision to not put the man above your young son, but you have never disclosed what your son has done which the man of several years does not like. Not our business to know but you should look into your son, and not always run to the next man to solve your issues with the previous man.

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  4. It is easy for us to tell this lady, "not take the man back", but I don't think that we can make a judgement on him or her just by this note. Obviously, there was a problem with the son which is why the man felt obligated to remove himself from the house. Probably he felt it unsafe for either him, the son or everyone in the house. I am not claiming that she should welcome him with open arms, but there should be an understanding and/or rules for the son's return. Regardless whether or not he is your son, you cannot be on his side just because he is your son and chase away your common law BF. If the man provides and take care of the lady, regardless whether the son likes him or not, the son needs to respect him and the lady should ensure of that as well as have the BF do the same. My 10 cents is that it is not too late and she should talk to the BF and find out what's on his mind and see whether a compromise can be met. The conversation should later on include all three of them since they share the household. The man stayed with you 7 years and you never mentioned ill treatment so he must have been doing something right (I don't know, but going by what I read). Maybe she treats the man like a child in from of her son and always gives her son the benefit of the doubt. Instigator/ sou-too-wez

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  5. DEAR CONFUSED , I THINK IT'S TOO LATE TO ASK WILLIE OR ANY ONE ELSE FOR ADVICE ON UR MATTER.YOU HAVE ALREADY TAKEN HIM BACK. YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR ADVICE BEFORE YOU BROUGHT HIM BACK IN UR LIFE.IF THAT MAN REALLY CARED ABOUT YOU , HE WOULD NEVER TAKE ANYTHING AWAY THAT HE BOUGHT FOR YOU AFTER BEING WITH YOU FOR SEVEN YEARS. WHAT KIND OF A MAN WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? PLUS UR SON IS THERE WITH YOU AND YOU SAID THEY DO NOT GET ALONG. DO YOU THINK THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME? YOU SHOULD HAVE LOOKED BEFORE YOU LEAPED. TOO BAD FOR YOU.

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  6. sometimes son get jealous of their mum being in a relationship with another man.the only son sometimes disrepect the bread winner,i can see why this man took his hard earning..the mum herself had a short fling with another man,maybe thats why they broke up in the first place she had two men in her life....

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  7. by doing this my dear lady u have caused disappointment in ur son and made this man to believe that ur not worth better than wat he dishes out to u u need to be a mother to that son and get rid of that man and love urself enuff and no dat ur worth much more and get rid of him

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  8. If the man walked away and took everything he ever bought for you, then that should have shown you his calibre. He left because you would not abandon your son. Two major reasons why you should have had him keep walking.Third reason is because you admit that you can't forgive him. There can be no healing or moving forward without forgiveness. Any man who decides he loves you only when he feels another is "encroaching on his territory" after leaving in the situation described needs a lesson in love. I think deep down you already know it was a mistake.

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  9. I don't know what transpired between your son n your boyfriend,but regardless your son will always be your son,if he can't accept you with your son in the house then forget it.men will come n go but ur child/children is blood.u shouldn't have take him back because of his actions and besides ur son is in the house and this can cause further problems.

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