As you might imagine, things are not the same with us anymore. We are still together but he seem a bit distant from me now. I have not done anything to his family. I have only met most of them once and they already have this perception about me in their minds only because I’m not an outspoken person.
Even those from the family who have not met me don’t like me also and I know they don’t like me and have nothing to do with me because he told me so himself. His family claims that they don’t want me around their house.
When we go out and they are around he leaves me in the vehicle because he doesn’t want them to know that we are still together. He is not a child and I think he should stand up to his family and make decisions on his own.
I don’t know where we stand because I believe if they ask him to leave me he will just leave. What should I do?
What impression did you give on your first ever meeting with your boyfriend’s family? I find it strange that ALL his family members hate or dislike you because you’re not outspoken. There must be other reasons.
I know it is possible for family members to not dislike the person whom their relative is dating but this is odd that, as you stated, everyone in his family dislikes you.
I cannot really advise you on the family part because you cannot force anyone to like or love you.
I can however advise on the boyfriend’s reaction based on the limited information I have received.
As you rightly said, your boyfriend should not be afraid to love you and stand up for you regardless of his family’s position.
I know family comes first but he should be mature enough to follow his heart.
You should have a heart to heart meeting with your boyfriend, let him know your concerns and be frank. Tell him you realize both of you have grown apart and that he seems to be influenced by what his family thinks of you. Also, let him know that he needs to decide whether he is going to stand up for you or not and that you want to know if he still wants to be with you.
If he is not willing to put this behind and put you first then you don’t need a child in your life. You need a real man who loves you regardless of what his family thinks or not.
I know some people will say that once the family hates you, it won’t work. But this situation is basically about you and your boyfriend. You’re not dating the family. It’s his response to the situation that can make or break the relationship. You cannot be in a relationship and do not know where you stand.
Just do what I say if you haven’t yet done so. All the best.
Email letters to [email protected] Letters are strictly confidential and total privacy maintained. Also see disclaimer below.
Dear Willie is published every Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.