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Dear Willie: I met this man eight months ago. I was going through my own stress. We agreed we would enjoy each others company, no relationship, no babies.
Everything was perfect until I moved back in with my baby daddy. He became insecure to the point where he would act stupid when I went out with friends and coworkers.
He would call and say he had visions of me having sex and would ask ‘who and when’.
My question is if it’s just casual sex then why would he act this way? I’m afraid he is stalking me.
Dear Miss: This is what you did: you used the man. However based on what you said, I do not believe you intentionally used him. He was just the fall guy — a guy who is used to get over another guy, or a guy who is used to help ease the heartbreak.
It is obvious that he has fallen in love with you or fallen dangerously in ‘lust with you’. But that’s not your fault. It’s his fault. You laid the rules out clearly, ‘no relationship, no babies’. It’s just sad that he was not strong enough.
And males — like females — fall in love or get attached even faster when they’re getting sex — especially if the ‘ting’ sweet.
You have to understand that not everyone is strong enough to keep their emotions in check. He probably thought that getting some sex was good enough. However, eight months is a lot of time to be with someone, ‘sexing’ them, and not to expect one to feel some emotions. Unfortunately, he was the one who fell in love. You never loved him, never wanted him, and you made that clear enough — in female language. But as you should know (now) many males can be slow to ‘get the picture’.
I feel very sorry for him. Sounds like you were having sex with a little boy. Mature males, or experienced males, would often not get themselves in this type of situation.
I will advise you to be careful, and if this continues, report the matter to the relevant authorities or better yet, get your man or close family involved to settle this amicably (well, if they’re the civilised type, hopefully).
And before you go: men have feelings too. Not all of them is ‘made out of steel’. They’re human and can ‘catch feelings’ just like females, whether it’s just casual sex or not.
But this is just my non-expert opinion from a male’s point of view. The feedback from the public should also give you a ‘clear picture’.
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