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Dad, I know that my death has knocked the life out of you but my biggest fear is that you may go through a lifetime of pain, blaming yourself and never accepting that I am no longer there with you in the flesh to do all the things we use to.
We created so many greats memories and over the course of 18years, we set the bar at full 100 being the greatest father and daughter duo. Dad, it hurts my heart to see you in so much pain and I would give almost anything to wipe your tears and convince you that I am ok.
I know that none of this makes any sense and probably won’t for a very long time. I know that many are questioning the work of the Father, asking why couldn’t he have done better and saved my life or better yet took control of the vehicle when we lost it because he is supposed to protect us and be our eyes when ours have failed us.
Even as I sit from my place in heaven watching you grieve for me, my heart shattered into a million pieces and tears blur my vision, I plead with the Lord to just allow me one more chance to hug you and reassure you that it will all be fine but he assured me that in time you will be fine.
Dad, he said to me “my child there are times life will happen and there isn’t much one can do about it but allow time to take its toll on us. And that we have to sometimes lose to win again depending on how we use our sorrows.”
Dad, even if I am not with you in the flesh, in your heart is where I will forever live so promise me that you will still do all of these wonderful things we talked about, promise me that you will continue to keep my memory alive every day and on the days you miss me most turn on the music and dance to our favorite songs because I will be here there dancing with you.
18 years of memory is what God had written to give to you, 18 years of memory that will guide you throughout the different phases of your life, 18 years of laughter, guidance and unconditional love. Now it’s time for you to keep going dad and make these 18 years count.
I have earned my angel wings because God saw that you needed a guardian and thought “there can be no better one appointed but me” so I am asking you please to grieve me for as long as you feel the need but just don’t give up on life or feel the need to carry around any burdens for my death for with life, that ugly monster will someday show it’s ugly head.
There is a lesson to be learned through death daddy and it is that “we should love as hard as we feel the need to and always live our best life” and that I sure did with you.
I love you daddy and I know that you loved me too and this is the greatest gift any child could ever receive. I am not saying goodbye but rather see you later until that day we are reunited and our hearts will be whole again.
Your loving daughter Rena
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