She asked him if he has a girlfriend and he said no. I asked him what the hell is going on. His response is that he is only testing the girl. Bull**&t! Since that time he has changed his FB password and does not log on when am around. I asked him about that too and he says he is bored of Facebook, yet when I check the history of the browser mister on FB every minute when am not around.
I told him about this and he gets upset that I am policing him and wants out of the relationship. He says nothing is wrong talking to a girl on Facebook. But I told him cheating is cheating and it can take place orally too. He calls me an obsessed b** and wants to break up.
People told me they’ve seen him out with this same girl and he denies it.
Dr. Cindy what should I do?
Dear Concerned about Facebook:
It would appear from your perspective that your boyfriend is a liar based on what you have presented.
The fact that he indicated to another girl that he does not have a girlfriend leads to the question of his commitment to you and the relationship. It seems as if you have two options, the first, continue with the relationship in the way that it is going now where he appears to be cheating and lying, or second, resolve the relationship with him.
The question here is, can you continue to live under these conditions and terms of the current relationship, as it appears as if it will not change, as from your reports, your boyfriend does not feel as if he is doing anything wrong. If someone does not feel as if they are doing something wrong, then change is not a consideration for them.
Your second option of ending the relationship will resolve the apparent difficulties you are having in the current relationship. You stated that your boyfriend wants to break up, but, do you want to break up?
My suggestion is to talk to him openly and honestly about how his actions have been affecting you. Share with him your apparent desire for monogamy and the importance of this to you. See if you can calmly and rationally discuss the situation with minimal blaming what the relationship means to both of you, where it is now, and where you would like it to go.
Basically, see if you are on the same page. If not, I suggest considering your options and making the decision that is best for you. Be honest with yourself and him.
Ensure, however, that you are prepared for the consequences and/or answers that may come from the discussion.
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