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Boyfriend been cheating for year and a half, got chick pregnant

Dear Willie

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Dear Willie: 
My boo and I have been together for four years. We have had a good relationship for most of it.

I recently found out that he has been cheating with another girl for about a year and a half. I only found out because she is pregnant. He never gave me any reason to think he was cheating, so I never thought of it.

I am angry, hurt and I feel betrayed because I can’t believe that he has been lying to me for so long. A part of me wants to leave him and a part wants to stay. I love my boyfriend very much but I don’t know if I am able to accept what has happened and have a normal relationship with him again.

Should I leave or should I stay?

Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken: If you don’t think you can accept it, then you won’t.

More than a year of cheating and getting the side chick pregnant? I doubt you will be able to live with that.

If you stay, be prepared for insecurity and trust issues from both sides. Also expect baby-momma drama.

Willie 

Email letters to [email protected] Letters are strictly confidential and total privacy maintained. Also see disclaimer below. Dear Willie is published daily on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as official counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user. 

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47 comments

  1. I’m currently in this situation women knew about me and didn’t care. We had a home, We have a family together I had a newborn at 6 weeks when I found out she was 8 weeks pregnant. He payed for the abortion and she didn’t get it. She is still pregnant my daughter is 3 months. I don’t know what to do. I am devastated. I don’t believe I’m going to stay because I can’t imagine looking at that kid! The women has 100% intentions on being with him and he still has not left me. We have 4 kids in are house.He wants to work things out but how? With this third wheel mom and child. He kept saying she doesn’t care if I’m married or not. This Chic has three kids three fathers. She even has harassed me via text. I just ignored her.I’m in therapy over this. I want to leave but it’s hard to imagine when you have years invested. I know that someone will love me though I just have to get used to life without him and heal from this. Part of me just wants to stay to piss her off which is what I’m doing for the moment.

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  2. &' u call him ur boo??
    ... Girl run fuh yuh life!

    (1)(0)
    • I'm a sidechick who got pregnant as well but I don't worry and regret and u know why??it's because of man are weak and think what is inside the box.

      I don't care if his gf find out and decide to leave him because he is still paying more attention to me,he does calls infront of her n he is insisting of visiting each other...so what can u say as a side chick if the guy doesn't respect the main chick??

      Girl,why he would go out and just shoot with his gun without bullet proof?And what about the protocol then?Listen girl I don't think u deserve that and stop abusing yourself emotionally.Pack your stuff and go,that nutshell living lifestyle of yourself it's boring because you can't notice his flops and traps

      He is probably made up his mind about his side dish so as for you bizy cooling him boo,sitting on 1place thinking he will change sometime hahahahaha...my sister the 2nd born is coming very soon.

      Finish and klaar

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  3. Don't stay will be too much for you your better off single than to stay in that relationship and be unhappy and stressed for the rest of your life trust me there will be trouble he doesn't love you its year he had a lot of time to think about his actions and hurting you just move on it won't be easy but just let him go

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  4. best advise i can give is to leave .u aint married or have his baby. you got nothing to loose

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  5. Dear, as I see it you have two choices:

    1. Stay with the man who does not respect you, plus deal with all his baby mama drama until the child is 18; he cheated for a year and a half so he will continue to cheat. Be prepared to get sick, visit the doctor and cry to your friends from all that stress; or

    2. Leave the man alone, keep yourself happy and healthy until you find a man who will respect you and treat you for the queen that you are

    (4)(0)
  6. I THINK YOU SHOUD LIVE THE MOTHER F...ER

    (2)(0)
  7. All I want to know is are there any mutually loving relationships? If so, I would really love for these couples to disclose their secret weapons.

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    • Be truthful to each other and treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Don't do to your partner what you don't want them to do to you. AND STICK TO IT.

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  8. girl if your love man stay with him don't send him for the the woman couse out the there is no good men all of them dose cheat ok don't snd your man for the woman if he not doing you any thing wrong fight for your man give him more love for hpm to stay home cause if you live him you will end up with some body's men don't ever think you will get better out the

    (1)(3)
  9. So he's been cheating for a year and a half and you are in doubt whether to go or stay? You love him...but does HE LOVE YOU? My girl please take note: WHAT YOU ALLOW IS WHAT WILL CONTINUE...With that in mind, good luck with your decision making. P.S. He may not respect you, BUT RESPECT YOURSELF!!!!

    (5)(0)
  10. Sweetie, you deserve more. He doesn't love you enough that he lied to you for the length of time he has been with this woman.

    (4)(0)
  11. I love my St. Lucian men, but they make me sick with that cheating shit. I don't care how good you treat them, they must mess with another ASS.

    (2)(0)
  12. Its not worth it hunny,,,was in a relationship with a guy for almost two years then he tells me his gf is pregnant !!! I left him sitting right there on the bench by the square and NEVER looked back,,,if u stay u will only end up hurting yourself and/or detesting the man,the woman and the child. Make your move before its too late

    (2)(0)
  13. Girl you better get out of that nonsense. The relationship with his baby mama is stronger now that they have a baby together. Before you know it there will be a second child! I don't know why St. Lucian men loves to cheat so much. IT'S A DAMN SHAME. THAT WHY THE WOMEN DON'T CARE TO SETTLE DOWN WITH THEM.

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  14. Well said Willie!

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  15. the choice is yours at the end of the day, but if u are going to stay be prepared ti treat the child like he or she is your own and accept the fact that he has a baby mother and you cant do nothing to prevent them from communicating. if this is to much for you then leave if you think you can handle it then stay....

    (1)(0)
  16. DAMMM, your boo was boo-ing a next girl. That's some booshit!! Keep your head up, keep living life. Don't let "feelings" hold you back.

    (2)(0)
  17. My boo? I am a woman who is sick and tired of hearing women let men treat them like doormats. GET THE HELL OFF THE FLOOR!

    (3)(0)
  18. Women cheat on their men too and come back and say it is a mistake and they want to work it out,so it is the same then,right.Would the man who is really,truely in love with the woman stay or go for the fear that she will do it again,so i guess it goes both ways at the end of the day,it is up to you and up to him to know the grass is never more green on the other side,it is just alot more mentainance.

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  19. Leave, Leave and Leave. He is not ready to be comitted to you. Clearly you're giving more than you're getting out of this relationship. Its better to save yourself all the babymama drama and get the hell out of this relationship. RUN!

    (3)(0)
  20. He should have cover up to begin with becoz he could easily have give you a std or some nasty disease.......but some women do all kinds of tricks when they want to trap the man. Me an my friend even got vex for somethin like that becoz she made the man think she couldn't get pregnant jus to trap him an now endless roro between them.....she only wanted a child to get money from this man........ women now make babies to try to keep the man especially when they no he is in a relationship.....they do not care about the child is all about them an tryin to keep a man.....what they don’t know is child don’t keep man.....now she will have all kind of reason for this man to stay at her place.....wait till she start preventing him from seeing the child if he don’t do what she want

    (2)(0)
  21. Don't think of others think of yourself. You should take the situation to God and let him direct your path.

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  22. I went through this same situation and unlike you was married for 18 years..I would advise you to leave not only is this a sign of disrespect but you will never be able to trust this man again,,you would want to stay and not be happy as any argument this is will be the first matter to be raised if you decide to stay. I am saying this to you as I was married and walked away from everything, you must first love yourself..I have remarried and I am very happy..But the choice is yours..are you ready to deal with all the additional hurt this will bring along?

    (2)(0)
  23. Wow i feel 4 u, i was in a situation so even worst got to find out when the baby was due and he never gave me a reason to think he was unfaithful all along and what did i do????? I got the strength and walk away life itself have its ups and downs but im doing fine happy and thankful as for them are they together not that i know of faith hun cry and scream as much as u want and do it walk away if he care so much he would not be hurting you for so long you are someone daughter know your worth. good luck

    (2)(0)
  24. My Girl you came here for advice so read & take Willie and the other comments into serious thoughts!First thing is if he had really care and Love you he would have told you him self about the other girl he was cheating with & got Pregnant and begged for your forgiveness.The other thing is he had unprotected S**!Big mistake!Then do the same with you,Which means he had no time to care if he was infected & putting your life at risk.What is there for you to reconsider????You should know what to do by now.Just to add 4 Years is a long time,what if he was cheating with other girls besides her but she got pregnant???Can you Trust the people they have been with....No!!Be Smart.

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  25. milk the cow then run

    (2)(0)
  26. One's a cheater will always be a cheater they only change for a few weeks and still going back to the same thing especially now he sharing a child with her Hon just kick his ass

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  27. You are now completely out of the picture. The child is his blood. The other girl beat you to it. There is only one option left for you. Haul ass !!

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  28. Women who allow themselves to get pregnant for men who are in relationships are most times trying to have the man for themselves, the majority of the time they still won't get the man. U shud make her suffer. My girl if u decide to stay, open an account for that baby and every month make him deposit 300.00 on that account for her for the child . No visitations no daddy for ur outside child cuz that's what she looked for. But then again u wud have to be on charge of that man. That's why I don't look for no man that I cah take charge of .

    (2)(2)
  29. Thats sad, ur man having unprotected sex, sweetie are u aware of all the stds, sti that are spreading? Your bf is not only being unfaithful but also putting ur health at risk. My girl if u dont have kids with him and u are financally able leave his him. If for any reason u decide to stay prepare for Missy drama plenty cheating and use ur condom next thing he have u both pregnant. Anyways whatever ur decision I hope u are happy with it

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  30. If this nigger had time to cheat he had all the time to think about it. Some of us women loose our self-esteem and degrade ourselves by settling for sh*t. We always get what we tolerate and then every where is too hot for us. If he had respect for u he would not be busy cheating.

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  31. Men make children with woman tht is worth having children.

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  32. Wow double whammy -infidelity plus a baby. That would cut any woman deep. Not sure how to advice you here. If you believe in your heart the relationship is worth it then stay. But consider this, he cheated, lied and is soon to be father with another woman. The way I see it you were not worth being faithful to. Why should you remain loyal to a man like that?
    After it's all said and done you still have your life to live for you. There's no need to take on extra baggage from him or the third party involved. This relationship is already lost.

    (1)(0)
  33. Once a cheater always a cheater.

    (1)(0)
  34. Its plain and simple.the man made his decision a year and half ago.get a life woman.why love a man that won't love u back.

    (1)(0)
  35. U eh have no child u eh married what u still doin there sweetie run run

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  36. It won't wrk out trust me. He would want to see his baby often specially if it's his first child. And you know I know is not the baby he really want to see

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  37. You should stay with him there is something called second change right

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  38. Im very sorry nope nope nope. Wudnva fink of stayin. Where was ur luv for me wen u wre cheatn n plus a baby. Im very sorry hv a gud life

    (1)(0)
  39. run girl

    (0)(0)

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