Baby mother says she wants a break, comes home at 3 a.m.

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Baby mother says she wants a break, comes home at 3 a.m.


Dear Willie:
I’m with this girl for 10 years. We both met at 17 years and have a five-year-old daughter.

We have had many break-ups and make-ups but the last break-up lasted for one year. I took it really hard, crying for months. She moved on and had a woman as her soul mate, living together, sleeping on the same bed with my child.

I was jumping from one woman to the other until I met this girl who I knew for 10 years. We decided to date until it became serious and she was my dream girl, then my ex kept walking streets, coming to my work place, tracking me when I’m out. She wanted her family back.

It took me six months to give her an answer. Now I pushed this girl away to be with my baby mama.

First month it was all okay. It’s true. I still had girls calling my phone but never cheated or even flirted. Now she keep saying she loves me, don’t want to see any woman with me, but she wants a break to party and have fun with friends. She is stressed out, goes out every time she is off and comes back 3 a.m. whilst I baby sit.

I really love her but don’t know what to do. Please, I need some help. I feel stressed and confused.

Dear Sir: I am yet to see where the issue is. She says she wants a break to party and fun with friends. You also mentioned she is stressed out.

Why is she stressed out? The fact that she is telling you she wants a “break” and wants to party with friends and have fun, suggests that you’ve not been allowing her to have her “me time”. If people go to party, especially on weekends, don’t you expect her to come home at 3 a.m? And who else gonna baby sit?

I am sure when you’ve been out, she had to baby sit too.

I believe you and her can work something out. You said she is stressed. I am sure she’s told you why she is stress. What are you not doing right? Are you giving her enough space? Are you giving her enough time to be with friends? Going out with friends to party does not necessarily means she is cheating. How about you and her going out together and hiring someone to babysit?

I won’t comment on your history with your baby mother and the girl you dumped to take her back. Focus now on what’s going on. Communicate, communicate… Brother if you know what the problem is, you can fix it.

Willie 

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user. 

 

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54 COMMENTS

  1. I agree with the guy who said st.lucian not good.and plus I know of people in st.lucia going on with that same problem.i have been with women from other countries and their mentality is different and upbring is different man just play the game.if she goes out at night just after she leaves u get a babysitter and go have fun too and when she comes home 3 you come home 4.if she gets mad you just simply say did you enjoy yourself I had a good time.because if she gets mad she was doing wrong and if she complain about why u didnt stay to watch the kid u simply say ur not his mother.and be calm and normal and let her storm u will see what a psychopath and lowlife is all about.manipulative women are low in ambition.so papyshow them.let them see you can deal with better women so they can upgrade themselves.

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  2. Well well well......aparantly im not against gay but as a young mom u shouldn't b practising that habbit ..my boy I hqv been in a similar situation where my wife n I had brk up many times before we got married...I read this article and u sounded lik me..however it can work although its gonna b tough it did work out for me...I would say friends hav a lot to do with that....my wife was reporting our problems to her friends and were the ones encouraging her, lets go out for a drink don't allow mate to give u head ache...when she saw I was payin no attention to her tgen she realise oh! Im up yo something then started spending time I proposed got married and now its 15yrs since we met...thank god no head ache but my boy friends fake friends allow her to go astray true friends gonna sayti know you got a family and u can't be with us parting every time u off....my boy work it it can work.

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  3. No woman er bringing no other woman "lover' arong my seed especially my daughter, y'all mun er know how to bad up dem girlz, next ting d child feel woman to woman iz right n dats directly spoken against in the bible, gassa juz bun dat gurl, take ur daughter from her too cuz dat gurl er ready yet.....

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  4. I hope you realize she's probably cheated on you multiple times by now. Any guy who's been in that situation can see the signs

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  5. There are always 3 sides to a story;his side, her side and the truth. I dont know the whole truth in his side of the story but it seems like many points were left out. As for willie's response, that's the crappiest advice ive ever heard, not professional at all. Infact, why was this article even published? If that's where we come for advice, God forbid. How about taking it to the Lord in prayer.... Anyways, back to the story. In the first place a 10 years relationship calls for marriage. Ofcourse the question who's resporesponsible must be answered because some women dont want to get married when asked to and vice versa. It's not always the guy with the problem *small minded people* I do believe in second chances but this one sounds like a twentieth, and ofcourse I do understand. Who knows, the guy probably has true love towards this woman, which explains the reason for giving so many chances. Btw, whoever said exes cant be successful, psshhh. It all depends on the maturity of the parties involved and willingness to change. The woman needs her break, how about a real break. Theres nothing wrong in having a good time but I believe that a genuine mom would never walk in at 3am, after partying, bearing in mind that she has a 5 year old who needs a healthy breakfast in the morning and an early rise. Judging from the unfinished story of the guy this woman is not ready to settle down and a vivid picture is painted of the difficulty you two have. Stop it, this is not healthy for the child. Both you guys seem unstable emotionally, the last thing you'd want is to raise an unstable 5 year old. You stated that you left your dream girl for your ex, with all due respect, do you know how dumb this sounds. I'm not doubting she was your dream girl but if she really was there's no way you would haveallowed her to slip. My advice is that you 2 seek pprofessional help. May God richly bless you'll union... & to the guy speaking ill of St. Lucian women, let me remind you that st lucia has a population of 170, 000 people *esteemed* & you have mot met a half of the population. Is it that you are looking for something in the wrong place? I'd want to believe so. This iscoming from a 19 year old.

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  6. One thing i have maintained in my entire life it is that once i make a decision that have been properly thought of i don't go back, no regrets. First of all guy you need to find someone who really care about you, and trust me there a many you just need to your heavenly father about that and he will organise all of that and give you a hook up because he knows all his creatures. And i do mean all including you, so he knows whats best for you. Secondly no woman is worth wasting your life with trying to figure out when is it going to work, you only have one life, China alone has a population of over 1.248 billion, India 1.67 Billion and say if 60% of those are women, St lucia is only about 170 thousand, you get the picture. Do yourself and leave her give yourself a grospwelle before she gives it to you again, get over her and find someone else. I personally don't think she values her family life as she say. Sounds like she on the rebound.

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  7. You people are to judgemental. You should only give advice to situations that you relate to or have been through. There are always three sides to a story. What he said, what the other individual has to say the actual truth. For better advice seek professional counselling.

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  8. As a woman, I will tell you to only do what is best for your child!

    It's great to have a little "me time" ONCE IN A WHILE but not everytime. Too many times, some of us women tend to set our priorities in the wrong places. There is no urgent need to be a social butterfly with a 5 yr old daughter at home. She has some growing up to do, so I think you need to make all the time for your child, and give her all the time in the world to grow up!

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  9. @AB True that the only good woman for now i can say is my wife of 12 years, dated lots of lucian women before and i can say they lack the ability to carry out a constructive conversation, they are about having a good time and sex.the sex part I ENJOYED!!

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  10. The biggest mistake you made was to make back. A leopard skin never changes. My advise to you now is to go looking for some other person to make you happy and get custody of your child. leave that women in her mess and move on with your life. I am a women and that is how I feel.

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  11. Some of you are just too ridiculous. Great advice willie. Alot of people feel men have the right to go out and party and let the women watch chilren but its not ok when the shoeis on the other foot. The man knows exactly why the woman is stressed. If she so not good y did he stick around for ten years. Furthermore any commited man would marry his woman if he wasnt up to some nastiness by now

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  12. U know i almost laughed at the response willy gave. Becuz at the end he makes it come across as tho the guy is doin sumting wrong. Am sure if it was a woman that complained bout her boyfriend it wud still be the boyfriends fault. Lol that sso amazing. But anyway, if she has a child wit u and wants a family but wants to continue partyin then she not ready to settle down. dont get me wrong there is nuttin wrong wit partyin but when u hv a child an a boyfriend who wants to be wit u , then u spend moe time with them an less time goin out, that is ofcourse if u really want a family. My advice to the guy is that find out y she feels the need to party s much an y she so stress and find a way for the both of u to compromise for the sake of the relationship.

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  13. Sorry to say it but i think she only useing u as her personal passport u need to stop being blind and stand as a man learn that anytime u have parts in a car that causeing problem and u dont change it well u have to accept anytime

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  14. Partner the woman never let her hair down , from 17 years. You still getting horn, she ain't stop , good luck with that bro.....

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  15. LOL GASA LOL I RATE YOU THEY LEAVE U CRYING FOR MONTHS AND YOU GO BACK WHAT HAPPEN TO ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY 10 YRS FOOL ME ONCE FROM THE LOOKS OF IT THIS TIME YOU CO BE CRYING FOR 12 MONTHS LOL. Misery likes company you should have staye with youre new woman and jus pay youre child suppor

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