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“All along he had a girlfriend of seven years” (Friday edition)

Dear Willie

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Dear Willie:
When I just met my boyfriend he was soooo good to me. I had nothing to complain about. I felt like for the first time I finally got a good man to love me back sincerely.

After a few weeks of dating I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he said no. I felt like I was floating way pass the clouds as he had a wonderful personality, a great job, his own place and his own vehicle.

He treated me just as I treated him. Trust me Willie, things were going great. Up until a year after, I got to know he had a girl pregnant for him. I was dumbfounded and crushed. When I confronted him he was so sorry and explained everything to me. All along he had a girlfriend of seven years.

I was really hurt but being I was so in love with him, I stayed. He begged me not to leave him. Now she knows me and harrasses me, calls me 24/7. He still tries to be good to me but I keep seeing her face.

I feel like things will never be the same but I really love him and I know he loves me. My mom says I should leave but I am so comfortable with him. And I love him so much I feel like I can’t.

I am unemployed and he takes care of me. I am hurting and depressed over this. It just isn’t as easy as you may say, to leave him. It’s hard. Please help me.

Dear Miss: This guy is a master player. Unfortunately you have fallen in love with him. You’re right: At first glance, I thought to tell you, “leave the man alone”, but you’ve already admitted it won’t be easy. And I believe you, and I understand.

Well, why don’t you play the game too? Continue to eat his money. Times are rough and you don’t have a job, so don’t stress it. If you do not intend to leave him yet, might as well you continue to make most of his benefits while ensuring you protect yourself. Don’t get pregnant.

This guy is a smooth player and he needs a dose of his own medicine.

I believe part of the reason you believe you cannot do without him, is the fact he takes care of you financially. Well, proceed until you get a job. When it is hard to get over someone, “tek wey yuself” in stages. Getting over someone does not happen overtime. Take it one step at a time, be smart.

Trust me when I say this: No matter how much you believe you cannot get over him, you will get over him. Eventually, you will grow tired of his bull— and go – if he doesn’t shape up..

As my mom always say, “If you cannot hear, you will feel.”

But one thing I note from all these letters: men here seem to have a “lying disease”. And I am wondering why are women falling for these lies so easily? Don’t ya’ll investigate before going with a guy? I mean, investigating as in not just listening to haters or hearsay, but actually doing your own investigations.

I think a lot of females in St. Lucia are minding people’s business and not minding their own. You’re talking piss about another guy and another relationship, but you fail to address the underlying issues in yours. Females here got to be a bit more vigilant in their relationships. It is ok to “float”, be in love, and be happy, but be smart. Not everything you see, actually looks the way you see it.

I know females in relationships for many years and had no idea their men had multiple children outside the relationship, for example. How did ya’ll allow this to happen? From what I know,  a lot females here know everybody’s business. I guess they don’t know about theirs. OOps!

Willie

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Dear Willie is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday exclusively on this site. The responses by this column are the opinion of the author of Dear Willie and are not to be thought of as counseling or advice. The opinion is based on limited information provided by the user. By requesting a response, the user agrees that both Dr. Willie and Andrews Media Services Corp/St. Lucia News Online are not to be held liable for any damages to the user or any third party associated with the user.

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41 comments

  1. why st.lucian love calling other women bitches...

    they hve the most negative comment on every body dear willie.. most of them with these comments .. they are the ones in it.. may they people married men

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  2. St Lucia is a small place if you want to know if someone is in a relationship. It is easy to find out.

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  3. @smh i could not agree more!!!

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  4. i cant believe how low some women value themselves, you are worth more than that(its like you are agreeing to be the side woman)..smfh. This whole relationship is based on lies and i think the only reason you're wanna stay is becuz you love his things...be independent and move on.

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  5. Thats why HIV on the rise because LUCIAN women opening their legs so quickly, before getting to know their partner.

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  6. you only love him because he takes care of you. Go get a job and leave the people's relationship alone... you home wrecker. "he was sooo good to me," a chou

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  7. when Im dating someone new I test them without they know... I would have one of my girl friend to push up on them ,..one they haven't met.... and if they fall for it... I dumb their sorry ass... men are to weak...just to weak for pussy... was with a guy for over a year,, heard he was cheating and so on... confront him. he denied... I do what I do best... I investigate.... I create a fake account ... we chat for months... called and all.. then it was time to meet in person... and sure he fell for it... I don't have time for BS.... Im with someone now... things are great... don't kw what will happen later but he better not mess with me..

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  8. those men not easy.. but I don't blame them fully.. because we show people how to treat us... if we as women didn't accept those shit.. im sure they would dare continue this crap.... but any way action speaks louder than words... ive had my share with them... I recently met this guy who is in a long term relationship... and he is telling me he wants to be with me... I said dear I don't wan to be no side chick... and I ask him if im worth being someones second.... and that he is very selfish... allow me to get a single man who wants me to be wifey... this guy is still persistent.... I might hv to pull my papper spray if he cant understand..

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  9. lol willie you asking the woman to eat his money lol. I like that one coming from a man

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  10. I agree with the last comment,women are their worse enemy,men lie even when they are caught red handed,I've had my share but,what i don't want for myself i won't do to another and as a woman i live by that principal

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  11. I just don't no whythe men don't want to say the truth in the beginning ass hole if you had just come out with the truth maybe things would be different. Women stop hating each other we have to tag against thr men now

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  12. I think you should put yourself in the other woman's shoes the one who has been there for seven yearsand has probably had to deal with seven of yyou one in each year and then you will find the courage to save her some more grief and leave

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  13. This relationship is solely based on convenience don't mistake it for love. Own car, own home, has a job and you don't. If you loose him you're back to being broke and no woman likes to be broke.
    Guess what, no woman likes another woman sleeping with her baby daddy.
    Pray to God baby mumma don't get crazy on you, cause she also wants to eat. A woman about to loose her bread can get crazy, especially the pregnant ones.

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  14. St. Lucian Men: we have the LIARS, the CHEATERS and the ABs. Lord, what chance do we have of ever finding a good man?

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  15. I believe you Willie and everything that you stated are true to the bone. my sister always say to me if you cant hear you will feel it. It is very sad to say a lot of young women loves men to feed them . Their dignity and pride can be taken as long as money is getting into their pocket books. get your independency intact and trust no man will take you for a ride.

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  16. I think you should leave despite how hard it is. Pray for God to see you through and maintain your pride and dignity Leave this man alone.

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  17. Ummm men, why do they do these things? They keep hurting women for their own selfish gain. Run as fast as you can my sister, it's not worth it

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  18. Lucian men 411. They lie like a mat. They older b they get the more they lie. Honey don't worry time will tell.
    When his Jonny can't stay up he will come to his senses. Lies lies a ND more lies. He must have a PhD in lying. My gosh.

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  19. FIRST OF ALL YOU SHOULD HAVE ASK FROM THE BEGINNING WEATHER HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND OR NOT.
    SECONDLY DON'T BE NAIVE, A MAN WIL CHEAT AND LIE AS LONG THEY ARE GETTING AWAY WITH IT.
    NEXT, TRY YOUR BEST TO GET A JOB AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,CAUSE IT MAY ONLY BE A MATTER OF TIME TILL HE GETS TIRED OF YOU, DON'T GET PREGNANT CAUSE THAT WON'T MAKE HIM LOVE YOU MORE.

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  20. Wow it so easy to call men dogs an women bitches whiles we have our own stuff hiding uh ba cuvea there's good an bad in both sexes an every cross is a different size an weight is knowing when an how to get out of ur burden

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  21. Eat his money

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  22. Smh at you women playing innocent....she indicated that she loves him for hes money. Its obvious he would never take a hobo as a wife. Stop depending on mun for everything. I am sure there were hints to show this man was lying. Now for those saying men are dogs some women are bitches...who u think sleeping with the guys after one night, women just mad because they get stuck with a belly and cant run from that. Note I am one of those who love only one woman and believe that every man should take care of their own.....but these hoes aint loyal. You a good girl find a good guy not a guy with money and car and buys you whatever u want...thats not a good guy thats a sugar daddy.

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  23. Willie always makes me laugh...girl open a bank account and save till you cant take anymore

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  24. My girl make the fool think he fooling You and eat the money call it the lie payment just don't get pregnant

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  25. A relationship doesn't start without the consent of a woman. Lies or not, a fella will "try ah ting" and it's up to the woman to determine whether it's true or not. You mentioned all the things he has, if he didn't have them but was nice to you, would you still want him? If he was a construction labourer without a ride, but treated you like his queen, would you fall in love with him? I think you fell in love with his things and money and you are now trapped. Tell me, how can you not find out something about someone in St.Lucia, such a tiny place?

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  26. Girl, I was in your shoes one time; sad thing is my "bf" at the time NEVER admitted to being with this other girl. We started dating in the second year of our friendship, split for a few months, then reconnected. When we got back together, I saw signs that something else was going on with him and I heard rumors too. So, I used to investigate for myself, and did find evidence that he was seeing someone else, but not concrete at the time. At the time, this girl was out of island for some years, so I figured that he had cooled off. But every time I found more evidence, I confronted him; he kept turning me down like it was not true...until I found more concrete info that he was seeing the other girl. I confronted him and eventually told him of my intentions to leave him. He didn't take it well, and up to a day like today, he has not admitted to being with the girl. But truth is, I can't trust a man who is not honest with me. I hang in there for 8 yrs hoping he would come clean, but since he never did, I figured that it would never be, so I picked up the courage to move on...BEST THING EVER!!!!
    In any case, do what makes you happy and what is best for you; but be sure to also think about what you would do if it happened again..

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  27. Wow....so many issues in this one letter. Lady it's time to get up on you own two feet and to start supporting yourself.. That way you won't have to depend on a man and take man crap. I understand that you are unemployed and times are rough but you need to at least start something somewhere, whether it be school or odd jobs here and there. 7 years??? Well he won't leave that woman for u.. And she even harassing u... Chops.. Chick you deserve so much better.
    I agree with willie when he says that people don't mind their business... Master stalker as I am I would be all over Facebook and Twitter , Facebook and Instagram looking for clues... Granted people hide there these days.. But even in things he would do and say you get clue... Have u been introduced to family? When do you see him? Where do u see him? What does he do when you guys are together.. Is his phone off? Can you get him when you call him.. Ask questions and you will see how he answers then you will learn a lot.. Unless of course he is a master player and knows how to cover up.... But mind y'all damn business...

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  28. Get out

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  29. My girl now you know he have a woman for 7 years that's the mans wife .so get out !! You don't want any woman in your relationship so get out of the people's relationship honey when I look at it you that's the problem.men are dogs and always be dogs.

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  30. O boy you mean he was sleeping with you and the girl in the same year .

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  31. My girl now you know he have a woman for 7 years that's the mans wife .so get out !! You don't want any woman in your relationship so get out of the people's relationship honey when I look at it you that's the problem.men are dogs and always be dogs.

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  32. The man is Lying To You .If The Man Have A Woman For 7 Years And Have Another Woman Pregnant for him .You just have a year with him .You that put your self their you put your self in their relationships .7 years with a woman that's a lot.He will not live the woman for you.so you no the truth get out .look for another man .did he ever take you to his home ? Did he ever take you to his working place?did you ever ride on this vehicle ? I guest not .so get out of the man relationship.the man is lying to you .

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  33. I agree with Willie and his statement about minding others' business and not investigating what truly concerns them, but I disagree with the play the game and use him while she can. Why are some women so happy to live off men, why cant you provide for yourself. Thats why you get played, so reliant on a man that you choose not to see the truth. I'm so tired of hearing he is good to me, he pays my bills bs, pay your own bills, are your hands not working???

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  34. We all now its hard... But u have to find the strength and courage to leave... The longer u stay the harder it becomes.. It doesnt make sense staying in a relationship when you're unhappy

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  35. Wow very well said Willie. What more can be said?

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  36. Darling if i were in this relationship yes it would be very hard to leave however you need to think about your future with this man. What would you want out of this relationship? will you ever want your own children your house and your man to leave in it. Do you want to waste your time and invest in a business where you have no control over. Yes he treats you good but for how long. Will you always be comfortable being the other woman? How would you feel if it were your man feeding another woman. I think at the end of the day it needs to start with us. You need to set morals for yourself. Personally if i cant walk anywhere in Saint Lucia with you of kiss you where ever I want and I cant have you completely to myself the its not worth It. How can we ever build a life a home a family together.

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  37. So true willie

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  38. Can i get an A to the m***f*** MEN
    They so busy checking other people's relationships that they forgetting how to care for their men.
    And then willie get those emails

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  39. There is no way she wouldn't know. These bitches just like to sleep with other people's men!

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  40. And u think after she gets a job she will leave? C'mon! She's in love she ain't going nowhere. Girl leave the woman's man alone. Why put yourself through this type of embarrassment? People know his pregnant lady as his woman not you. All they will see you to be is a home wrecker or worse.
    This man clearly don't love you because love is honest, pure. Your relationship is based on a lie. Regardless of you being unemployed don't allow yourself to be no man's puppet. Be a woman, save face and walk away. Time heals all wounds.
    Karma is a bitch. And for you that karma turns out to be his pregnant woman out for blood. You not need to put yourself through this.
    But hey if u wanna continue being his play thing feel free. Eventually you will do as you please.

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  41. My girl i know how yuh feel trust me its nt easy... I hv been wif my bf fuh 5 yrs an grl he continuously keep hurtin him... As i Always say karma is a bitch.... Im still wif him buh Tryin tu get sum1 better tu pay him bk

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