3 girls on my mind, which to choose?

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3 girls on my mind, which to choose?

Dear Dr. Cindy:I am in a situation where I have begun to go out and date girls after three years on a break.

I have met three girls I like; all possess tempting qualities, all have a little bit of the qualities I want in a woman. I want you to help me choose.

Girl A: She is tall. Love the height. Always want a girl close to my height. She is sexy. Very beautiful, I might add. She has a decent job as a supervisor, she drives, and she is single, plus she is around my age. Problem is she has a kid. I do not want any girl with a kid.

Girl B: She does not drive (bummer), she has an okay job (at least she is employed). She is the ideal age, about three younger than me. She is cute but not as beautiful as Girl A. She is single. No kids. Problem is she doesn’t have good education, especially at her age.

Girl C: She has a man but they’re going through problems. She is beautiful. She has no kids but confessed she had one abortion and one miscarriage. She has good education and she owns her own business. She is just two years older than me. I do like this one out of all three but the two situations bugging me are the fact she has a man (though she wants to leave him and come to me), and she has thrown away too many kids.

It’s really hard cause I could see myself falling for any of the three but circumstances dictate. Should I date some more? Or which would you choose?

Curious Nick

Dear Curious Nick:

Good for you for getting back out there and seeing your options. You have presented three choices, all of whom you admitted to liking, but, you stated you have more of a preference for “Girl C.”

For you, all of your reasons for hesitating in each instance are valid to you, and I respect that. However, the reality is, you may not find all of the qualities you want in one person. Hence, this is one of the many reasons why persons may date more than one person at a time. Each person meets different needs and because each person is unique, they bring a different personality to the relationship.

I will not tell you which girl to choose as you have asked. This is your choice and decision to live with. I will, however, tell you that it sounds as if you want validation or agreement to date “Girl C” as you stated, “I do like this one out of all three.” It may also be that you want to date all three and see which of the three you like best, despite their shortcomings.

My suggestion would be to be honest with yourself, and answer the question of whether or not you can live with, or be content with either of them in the long-term with the identified shortcomings. If the answer is no, then you would know it would not work out and you would move on. Also, can you find a girl with the qualities that are important to you, that is, no children, a good education for their age, no previous abortions, and single? She may be out there, as well as she may not. This is the gamble we take when we choose to date and put ourselves in the dating scene.

Further, there are other variables to look at: How long has it been since you have met the three girls? Perhaps, you may need a bit more time to get to know each of them and yourself in relation to them before you make a final decision.

Unless you are in a rush to get married, or you have given yourself a timeline to be committed to one of the three girls, I suggest taking more time to really see how and where the relationships can go. Now, do not misunderstand me, I am not saying to date all three girls at once romantically. This, however, is your choice should you choose to do so.

What I am saying is, get to know them and yourself and then, you will make the decision that is best for you. Until then, enjoy being back on the dating scene and meeting new people.

Best Wishes,
Dr. Cindy

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8 COMMENTS

  1. I think you are thinking a little too shallow. for example the one you dislike the most from what I read is girl b, because she doesn't drive and doesn't have a proper education. all that can change. I think you should find out whether she has goals of getting a licence and furthering her education. if she does then u can encourage and support her and there you go, you've got your dream woman. but if she doesn't then you know what to do. PS physical features are the only things that one cant change about themselves are the only things that you should let hinder you if you don't like it, for example if you want a tall person you may not want to settle for a short one when you know for a fact that they aint getting any taller.

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  2. My g start fresh girl a sounds ok but once they hv a child in the pic n the father in the child life u will never feel good in tht relationship been der done tht girl b smh girl c hv a man so no hope in tht the same way she willing to live the man 4u how u so sure she wouldn't live u 4 a next man??....stay scheming

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  3. come check me,single,no kids,but dont have a ride as yet,am a nurse,nope u 32 and up.lol lol lol.

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  4. Girl A is the most logic choice. beautiful, independent, drives. she's going places and is ambitious. the kid shouldn't be a deal breaker, what should be is if there's constant problems with the child's father.

    well at least i know what i would do. but i'm thinking long term. but if you looking for a sports fish(one you'd catch and throw back), i'd day B. Peace

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